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So confused about sleep advice.

6 replies

JessieEssex · 02/01/2011 20:11

Hi all
I'm a bit stuck/confused/nervous with regards to my DD's sleep, and I wondered if I could have either a) some pointers in the right direction or b) some reassurance that I'm doing the right things!
My EBF DD is 19 weeks old and is currently in the middle of sleep regression. Some nights are better than others and I've decided to try and keep things consistent so that hopefully we'll settle down again. I start winding her down for bed at about 6pm, with bath every other night and massage the other night. I take her upstairs to our room which is dark and quiet. I feed her and she invariably falls asleep in my arms. Before sleep regression hit I used to be able to put her down awake (dozy after being taken off the breast) but at the moment, it's easier to put her down asleep, into her bed that's been warmed with a hot water bottle (5* service!). She will sometimes wake up after about 10 minutes and if she sounds distressed, like she isn't going to calm down, I go in and give her another quick feed, which usually sorts her out. Should I be doing this? Am i making the proverbial rod for my back?! I have tried various other soothing techniques, but nothing apart from feeding seems to work (and I'm terrible at leaving her to cry). Some nights this is repeated 3-4 times, and on a good night not at all.
At the moment, she is waking 2-3 times a night, sometimes 4 times. Each time she is wide awake and if I put my hand anywhere near her, she grabs it and starts sucking it. I'm presuming that this means she's hungry (!) so I always feed her in the night. Again, should I be starting to soothe her in other ways? I really don't mind feeding her in the night, and in my heart I feel it's the right thing to do, particularly when she's going through an unsettled period as she is now. She always goes back to sleep quite easily after a feed, and funnily enough she seems to self soothe in the middle of the night.
In the daytime, she naps 3-4 times, but never for more than 30 minutes at a time. Should I be doing something to stretch these out into longer naps? She's no good at sleeping in her bed in the day, so I put her in the pushchair, and either take her out or rock her gently in the house, and she nods off easily.
Basically, what I'm saying is that I've read too many books and all of the conflicting advice is swirling around in my head, and as a first time mum, I find it hard to trust my instincts. I just need someone to tell me I'm doing the right thing...(or otherwise!)
Thanks in advance...
Jessie

OP posts:
JessieEssex · 02/01/2011 20:13

What I also meant to add is that before regression kicked in, she often (2-3 times a week) would sleep from about 7.30/8 - 5.30/6, so I know that she can go for a long stretch through the night. As I know that she can do this, should I be 'indulging' her when she does wake in the night (sorry, not the right choice of word, but I'm sure you know what I mean!)

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 02/01/2011 20:15

Are you happy?

Is your DD happy?

If so, all is ok

You are her mum, you know her best - what soothes her, what works for her and so on

At 20 weeks her behaviour sounds failry usual. My DD was up every 3 hours for a feed at that age

She would go back go to sleep straight after

I gently night weaned her at 6.5 months and there were no tears -

fifitot · 02/01/2011 20:49

You're not indulging her by feeding her at that age. It's just bloody hard work.

Like ruby says - do what's best, she is probably hungry by the sounds of it. My DS wakes every 2 hours at night and it's killing me but I think he is hungry so keep feeding him. Once he is firmly on solids though I am cutting back.

I wouldn't try anything different til your DD hits 6 months tbh as it is hard to know if they are genuinely hungry or not at this age and anyway if they seek comfort, why not comfort them?

2-3 feeds a night is about right for her age and don't worry about naps. Naps in the pushchair are fine. My DD did all her naps either in the car or pushchair.

You sound like you are doing fine. Ignore the books - I agree they drive you mad with their conflicting advice!

JessieEssex · 02/01/2011 21:41

Thanks ruby and fifi. I am happy, and I'm pretty sure that she is too! It makes me much happier to feed her when I think she's hungry than to listen to her crying. fifi, it is bloody hard work, isn't it! But as long as I keep getting those huge gummy smiles in the morning, I think I'll forgive her a few night feeds...

OP posts:
ShushBaby · 03/01/2011 14:04

Totally agree with others. There is a lot of pressure and "information" out there which can make you feel you're the only person in the world night-feeding a baby older than about 2 months! This is not the case, honestly. Like others who have replied, we waited until dd was 7 months to wean her off night feeds, and it wasn't traumatic at all (now at nearly 11mo she has developed a whole new set of sleep issues, mind you, and I dream of the days I could settle her back to sleep with a feed!).

For me, I couldn't feel confident she wasn't hungry until she was well established on solids. Don't beat yourself up, it sounds like you are looking after your baby beautifully.

Cosmosis · 04/01/2011 14:30

She sounds very similar to 17 week old ds, except he has never done more than 5 hours (and that only once at about 5 weeks old!) at night. Last night he woke after 10 mins and i tried the dummy and a cuddle to get back to sleep instead of a feed and that worked, so will try that again.

I am not going to do anything re night wakings untill he's on solids a lot in the day so i am confident he's not hungry.

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