12 month old that has never gone to sleep in a cot - Help!

[PorkChopSter]

This is DC4, so I should know better

His morning nap is in the car seat on the way back from school. His afternoon nap is in the car seat on the way to school. At the weekends, he either sleeps in the car seat on the way somewhere or I cuddle him. In the evenings, I feed him to sleep and when he wakes up, I feed him again. Since he was 5 months (before which he slept through ) this is usually every 3 hours at the longest.

Although this year has flown by and it's not been too much hassle, he's almost 1, I need more sleep (4 DC under 7, I am shattered), and he's weeks off growing out of the car seat.

We have vaguely attempted PUPD and cutting out night feeds. The PUPD resulted in hours of screaming and waking everyone else up. If I refuse to feed him, he will scrape at my PJ top, bite and headbutt me (all whilst screaming) We've put off making more changes or trying again because of visitors over Christmas and colds and teething but now the coast is clear.

Where do I start?

Can you try getting him a single mattress of his own? The you could settle him on there instead of in your bed. I did this with DD at 15 months and wish I'd tried sooner.
She only naps in car / pushchair too.
I'm knackered so I feel for you with 4 kids.....

He's not settling anywhere but in car seat or in arms though.

If you feed him to sleep on his own mattress and stay with him for a bit then you might be able to sneak out. I guess you're co sleeping?

When cuddling or feeding, introduce patting. Over time it becomes a sleep cue so you can feed to sleepy and continue to pat once transferred to the cot. I did this with DS at that age and it took a couple of months but worked really well, no crying and upset. You do need bags of patience though, that's the hard bit.

20 minutes into some mash of CC/PUPD. He is sobbing very very loudly but was just sitting rather than standing last time I went in.

I hate this.

How are you getting on now?