let DS sleep on me or persevere with carryot?

[1lumpor2]

my 3 week DS has recently started on infacol and is much more settled than he was. the problem is that he still fights sleep during the day even though he's so tired he can hardly keep his eyes open. i try to put him down in his carrycot and occasionally he'll drop off and sleep for a few hours but more often he'll wake up after 5 mins or so and scream, i pick him up and comfort him then put him back down and we repeat indefinately. i've tried a dummy but again he screams when he drops it. if i take him out the carrycot he sleeps brilliantly on me and im getting so tired that im starting to not like him much and feel really angry that he just wont sleep when hes so tired. i dont know whether its best to persevere with the carrycot sleeping or just try to catch some sleep whilst he's sleeping on me? i know he's still very young so dont know whether its worth trying to pursue a routine, but dont want a hard time trying to get him to sleep on his own further down the line because i didnt persevere with the carrycot now. im a first time mum and all my family live hundreds of miles away and just totally feel out of my depth, just wish i knew what was best to do.

I would le him sleep on you for a bit longer and keep trying every once in a while. My ds was the same, but now he will happily sleep in his basket, it just gradually started to work. I think making sure you get enough rest at the moment is really important.

Does the carry cot keep him at angle? We found our DS slept much better at angle when he was little (hence why he slept so well on us). I think we ended up with his moses basket at about a 20 - 30 degree slope i.e. as high as we could get before he slid to the bottom in a pathetic little heap (not that that happened ).

The other problem we had when transferring him from sleeping on us to the moses basket was him cooling down and that waking him. We were seriously paranoid about SIDS so tried not to overheat him, but giving him extra pre-warmed blankets when putting him down and then gradually removing them did seem to help.

Our experience and speaking to lots of other parents suggests that some babies children sleep well and others don't. Our DS is 20 months and now sometimes sleeps well on his own and sometimes doesn't...

Sleeping on you whilst you are awake is fine. Sleeping on you whilst you sleep is really not a good idea.

What about letting him sleep in bed next to you (co sleep) this is soooooo much safer than on you.

Is the carrrycot mattress intended for overnight sleeping? Ie one of the ones which are ventilated.

My advise (apart from checking above) is he is 3 weeks old. Do whatever you can to make sure you can get sleep too as long as you follow advice from FSIDs.

I never trusted myself to co sleep and sleeping on a sofa is a big no no.

How about trying a sling? that way he can sleep on you while you can have your hands free for eating cake / mumsnetting / doing chores. I wouldnt worry about a routine/makng a rod for your own back/bad habits etc at 3 weeks, like others have said, just do whatever you can to get through the days.

Can you allow him to fall asleep on you, then transfer him asleep? If he wakes, then repeat the process...

thanks for the advice people. the carrycot mattress was bought especially so he could sleep in it so thats not a problem and if i let him sleep on me i tend to either stay awake or put him in a sling so if i do fall asleep i wont crush him. today i have been just letting him fall asleep on me then transferring him to the carrycot but lots of books say to put him down awake so he learns to go to sleep in the cot. clearly not working though :( i tried him in the bed next to me but similar problem to the carrycot, he just likes to be held. im so tired though and think ill have to go with xMrsSx and cosmosis and just do whatever means i can get some sleep, trying to get him into a routine is just making me so stressed and anxious all the time and im spending an inordinate amount of time crying. ill probably be back on in a few months asking how to get him to sleep in his cot as he wont settle on his own

the books do all say that but it just doesn't work for some babies, it never has for mine (apart from in the night) - Yet now he is really easy to transfer into the basket - don't worry it will come.

IMO there's no point in trying a routine, or to put them down for sleep until at least 3 months.

It's normal for babies not to accept being put down awake - DS still won't at 12 months, and I now regret all the time I spent trying. He goes to sleep very easily and sleeps happily in his cot though.

I'd definitely use a sling in the day. You really can't worry about bad habits when they're this little. Only 3 weeks ago he was being rocked / shushed / cuddled inside you 24 hours a day so it's no surprise he's finding it hard to adjust.