8 week old baby - what to do - opinions please........NB: this is a routine thing so look away now if you're not a fan

[GuardianMummy]

Hi there

My second baby (a girl this time) is approaching 8 weeks (tomorrow)

Her sleeping is fairly good in the day - easy(ish) to get to nap (morning and after lunch) with just a little nursing/cuddling/holding etc required to get her "happily" to bedtime after a feed at 5ish.

Her bedtime is 6:45/7pm (ish) and she is feeding (BF) from about 6:15/6:30 and settles fairly well (although last two nights have been bad but that's for another thread!)

Anyway............previously, I had been expressing some milk and my Mum or husband were doing a so-called dream-feed at about 10:30/11 before going to bed themselves. She had to be woken for this feed but took about 4oz (sometimes not all of it) and settled well most of the time. She then woke at about 2ish and 4ish when I fed her. However, in the last week she has refused to take the bottle at all. We tried to leave her to wake (which happened after midnight) and see if she took it then (defo hungry) but she didn't so I got up and fed her anyway. So, I've stopped the dream-feed thing and am letting her wake herself when I feed her. She is now waking at 2ish anyway (not before) and I feed and 4ish when I feed. She doesn't quite make it then to morning (6:30 onwards) and can wake (as she did this morning) just before 6 when I tried to to just settle her with a little feed and some rocking back to sleep/sleeping then on me in my bed which worked.

Thing is - do you think I should re-introduce the dream-feed at about 10ish as I go to bed and see if she can manage the long stretch after this time which COULD take her to more like 4:30ish before I feed again and then make the morning. Or should I just count my lucky stars as she is pretty good really (two wakes and then a bit earlier than morning time) and wait for her to drop them herself.....

Bit of background.....my first baby did take a dream-feed but always woke at 2 and 4 anyway (!) but dropped them himself at about 12lbs/12-13 weeks. Kept the dream-feed going though until he weaned - too frightened to drop it! ;-)

I am hopeful she will drop the feeds/the gaps between will get longer all by herself (as my son did) but wondering if the re-introduction of the dream-feed will help. She is about 11lbs I'd say (being weighed on Tuesday!) and putting on nicely about 8oz a week so far.

Hoping somebody else has an opinion or two if you've encountered a similar situation

TIA MNers

Thanks swallowedAfly

I agree - it is so all-consuming when you're in it but easily forgotten when it's over!!! I only remember DS as clearly as I do (and I think it might be a little rose-tinted....) as he's only 17months old so it's not that long ago....

I think DS was the same.....about this time the 2 wake disappeared and we only had 4am. Then that dropped too.....hurrah!

Might re-introduce as just can't imagine a world where a BF baby sleeps from 7 until 7 this early..... I know some do (and I REALLY hope it's mine!) but I just can't see it at the moment...

Thanks for reply

I dropped it with DD at around 8 wks as she didn't want to wake, made no difference to her wakings later. However we've had to reintroduce it now (well, a few weeks back at around 16 wks) as she is going through the growth spurt/sleep regression and is wanting it again.

I never did a dream feed (mainly because my baby had terrible colic and until about 6 weeks was feeding constantly until about 9 anyway). I always worried that it would mean night feeds forever.

We did try a dream feed for a few days but it sent my baby haywire, she just hated it. But she usually only woke once in the night, between 2 and 4, anyway so I just gave up.

Don't know if we were just lucky but she started doing 7pm-5am at 9 weeks and by 12 weeks was 7am-7pm. There have been a few regressions but only ever lasted a few days and even then it's been 1 feed in the night and straight back to sleep. So my experience is that some of them just don't seem to need the dream feed. I'd go with what she's telling you, she seems to have her own ideas about what she's doing at night like mine did!

Thanks for replies MrsT and NN

I am also feeling that DD having a dream-feed will make little difference to later wakes. She has started to wake earlier than 2am now but still only the two wakes in the night (ARGH!) so I think I'll just continue with this and hope that I get the luckiness mentioned above by MrsT.....roll on 7-5 followed by the wonder that is 7-7 - yippee!

My friends have also had some BF 7-7 babies but I think it is a big ask..... I am certainly not adverse to bringing in some formula for the bedtime feed to see if it helps......if only she'd take a bottle again!!! Cheeky madam certainly seems to know her own mind alright doesn't she? ;-)

Am going to try a Tommee Tippee bottle and see if that makes any difference as opposed to the Avent ones I have already.....who knows?!

Thanks again

My DS used to have a feed at about 7pm, woke for another at about 10-11pm, then 2-3am and then back awake at 6am or so. The 10-11pm feed dropped away quite quickly and eventually the 2am one went as well - coincided with weaning if I remember rightly. (He was always bloody furious if you woke him up for any reason so I never bothered with 'dream-feeding'!)

Thanks Chil1234

Hoping to wean around 6 months (same as DS) so would rather those night feeds dropped before then if possible.....hoping she's not waiting for food to see her through - argh!

Agree about dream-feeding.....may not work for this madam - although some success with the bottle again. Am managing to get a little (1-2ozs only) into her at various feeds over the last couple of days so she's not totally refusing the bottle now.....takes a lot of work though but am going to persevere!

Thanks again for thoughts

Luckily, when my DS was born (2000) the advice was to start weaning at 16 weeks.... He took to real food like a drowning man to a life-raft and the difference in his sleep patterns was noticeable.

Thanks Chil1234 - I wondered if that might be the case but didn't want to assume you started weaning early in case I offended you!

Thanks for opinions people - so far, I've continued with no dream-feed and she's waking twice between 7 and 7 so it's not too bad.....she was doing that with the dream-feed!

Just the usual though..........it really doesn't feel like it's getting any better in the last 4-6 weeks at all and she's much fatter etc so it should be surely?! Still, I remember it being like this first time and then he just stopped waking so I'll try to be patient!

((whispering in case people disapprove)) I don't know if it made a difference but I use to cluster feed before bed. So I'd do a full breastfeed at 5pm, then bath at 6/6.15pm, then another breastfeed (which I suspect didn't provide much milk as the previous feed was only an hour before!) then bottle of formula then bed. She wasn't really interested in the breastfeed and pretty soon started refusing it and looking for bottle (still breastfed quite happily all through the day though).

Was brilliant for me because it meant that I could do a feed at 5 then someone else could do bath an bed so I could occasionally have dinner in peace or even, wow, go out!!

I'm all for filling them up before bed but as always each to their own.

Yes MrsTeddy

I do a similar thing.......feed at about 5pm then bath/bed at 6:15/6:30ish and then final feed before putting down at 7pm (ish)

I used to do the same with DS (ish) and then (about 9/10 weeks I think) I dropped the second BF at bedtime and fed a big (ish) formula bottle instead so I knew what he'd had and hoped this really filled him up.

I wish I could do the same with DD but she is ABSOLUTELY REFUSING the bottle now. I am at my wits end with regards the bottle thing......I just CANNOT get her to take any expressed milk at all with the bottle so I can't do a fill up before bed tactic which I would usually employ! I am thinking about trying formula milk as perhaps the different taste will draw her in the cheeky minx!

Will see what happens over the next few days and if she improves overnight at all. Has improved slightly since first post as she is sleeping to about 2ish and then almost gets to the morning (6am onwards) Hoping this becomes definite morning time and only one wake in between.....and then 2am drops too of course! Cross those fingers!

Any advice from anyone re: bottle refusal? Any tips?

I started cluster feeding my 8 week old LO by accident. His natural bedtime is usually 8 to 8.30pm (he's not easy to settle before this and lies awake until that time anyway) and his feeding pattern means he usually feeds 4/5pm and again at 6/ 6.30pm. If i try bathing him before his 6.30pm feed, he's fractious and winds himself up at bathtime rather than calming down because he's getting hungry. If i feed him before his bath he's too awake to settle afterwards without a feed. So i tend to feed him at 6pm, do the bathtime 7ish till 7.30/ 7.45 and then feed him again around 8pm. It works for us and he sometimes goes 6 hours from 8pm, although mostly lasts around 4 hours, providing he's napped and fed well during the day. The more his daytime sleep has been 'snatched'/ catnapped, the less likely he'll settle well at night. I always notice a massive difference at weekends when my husband and step daughters have been around and we've been out and about doing things. He's more difficult to settle, without a doubt, but you can't put your life on hold!