16 month old won't go to bed and won't settle once awake!

[mollysmum82]

I really hope someone can give me some advice! My 16 month old has always breastfed to sleep and I have been able to put her down in her cot afterwards. She has always woken through the night (anywhere between every half hour and once a night) and again I have been able to breastfeed her, rock her and then put her down in her cot. For the last week or so though she has not fallen asleep when feeding and I've really struggled to get her to go down. Its taken two hours at least at bed time or when she wakes in the night. I've tried to cuddle her in her cot but its quite awkward to do this as the sides are high and she just clings on to my hair and screams. I've tried bringing her into our bed but this just seems to irritate her or awaken her further, making her think its play time. I've tried to alternate feeding/rocking for the whole two hours which is what ends up working...but I'm shattered doing this every bed time and then at least once in the night. Do you think this is a phase which will pass? Everyone I ask tells me I've made a rod for my own back and says I need to let her cry herself to sleep...but I fundamentally disagree with letting her cry alone in the dark, it breaks my heart and hers too. Many thanks for any advice

She's your baby, and it's your back, so you don't have to do anything you don't want to. ds (15 mo) is similar, except that I stopped feeding him to sleep a little while ago. At this age she'll understand a lot of what you're saying to her, so tell her that you're going to have a lovely bedtime, and maybe get some new books - can recommend this and this. Then at bedtime, feed her, then read the stories, and cuddle her in your arms until she's sound asleep (if that's possible) for the first couple of nights, so that she associates the books and new routine with something pleasant.

You can then try putting her down awake but dozy, maybe tell her you'll read another book when she's lying in bed, and that you'll sing her a song and you'll stay with her - tell her all this reasssuring stuff. ds likes it when I put his toys to bed, so I'll make a palaver about tucking them in, etc, and he'll often lie down next to them. Find stuff she likes, basically, make bedtime something to look forward to and tell her over and over again what you're going to do. Once this is ok, you can work on a form of gradual withdrawal to get her going to sleep on her own, but I'd make bedtime pleasant in a new way first. Good luck.

Thanks so much for taking the time to post Habbibu. Those books look lovely, I've just bought one.

This is a really interesting thread Mollysmum, we have over xmas been night weaning DS, also 16 months and also fed to sleep, and for the past few days he's started being difficult to settle. Takes me about an hour and he too has ditched falling asleep on the boob. He doesn't cry at all - and nor did he when we did the Jay Gordon night weaning. Thank christ as I can't face him crying for a minute after his colic days. But he takes ages shifting round in his cot and huffing and puffing, then reaching up for me sometimes when he just can't nod off and we do more rocking til he's really sleepy and just repeat really. I'm about to ask if he's starting to get anxious about bedtimes because of the new regimen, but now I'm wondering if there's something developmental or a sleep regression approaching. :(

Thanks Poppet, I hope he gets better soon xx I wonder if its walking or another developmental milestone? I'm trying Jay Gordon too, with not too many tears thank goodness.