Shocking sleeper. Need a toddler boot-camp

[llareggub]

I am posting this out of desperation.

DS2 is 20 months old, and hasn't slept through since he was around 20 weeks old, and by that I mean 12-6.

His sleeping is shocking. He wakes up every couple of hours, and already this evening he has woken up 3 times. He'll wake up again once, maybe twice before midnight and then probably once or twice between midnight and the morning. Surely this can't be right?

We've tried pretty much everything. We were co-sleeping until he was around 12 months or so but he got too active so we transferred him into his own room. This didn't go down well but we persevered. Recently we tried putting him in with his older brother, and this seemed better for a while.

We briefly tried controlled crying, but I find it unbearable and so did his 4 year old brother, who was disturbed. I finally gave up when DS2 tried to hammer down the door with one of his toys.

I've tried picking him up and putting him back into bed, but this eventually (for him) turned into a fun game which had him giggling and playing.

He is breastfed and usually wants to be fed to sleep, so we changed the bedtime routine so at the moment DH settles him and gets him off to sleep so now he isn't breastfed to sleep. We stopped him feeding at night too, thinking he was waking up out of habit for a feed. This has no noticeable effect at all.

So. We have reached breaking point. This cannot continue. We've all been ill for a month and I'm sure it is because we are all exhausted. It can't be good for him and it certainly isn't good for his poor parents.

Is there anything we can try?

well my ds is like this, nearly three now and we co sleep as i had enough of getting up in the night. he does only wake once now but wriggles constantly from about half 4.

we did dr jays night weaning and stopped bfing totally at 22 months. he started sleeping better a couple of months after this- i think cos he was eating more filling food.

he is often cold when he wakes up as he has chucked his covers off. I think he needs to be much warmer than i think.
he has his own double bed so i can spend half the night in my bed and half in his, although dh sleeps in his now and me and ds sleep together all night.

no real advice just empathising. its a bloody nightmare isn't it

Oh thank you. Yes, it is a nightmare. He is in a horrid cot-bed which isn't big enough for me to sleep in. I'm thinking we may have to resort back to co-sleeping, but that isn't ideal because he is such an active sleeper. We often wake up to find him asleep over our heads or something! Additionally, he ends up feeding all night and it is just exhausted.

I'm wibbling now.

Have you spoken to gp or hv?
I would see them to get him checked and to give you some advice. As he is your 2nd and presumably you had no problems with ds1, there might be a reason.
My ds never slept through, waking anything up to 10 times a night!
We spoke to anyone and everyone about it. Eventually 1 hv listened enough to do something and within a day we had seen GP and ENT consultant, Turned out he had a breathing problem causing his windpipe to close when sleeping. Not life threatening but disturbing enough.
He would go to sleep, his windpipe would collapse at some time and he would then cough and wake himself up. Worst time was if he slept in the car.
Consultant said he wont sleep properly til he is a teenager!! But he is now 9 and lots better!

I have a nightmare sleeper too - no real advice to give you but just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.

I am currently ignoring my DS who has been shouting for about half an hour. Nothing is working to settle him tonight :(

I have rung my HV but found out that she retired last year! Someone was going to ring me back but they haven't. I'll try again tomorrow.

I did mention it in passing to my GP but he doesn't have children and was unsympathetic, really. He mentioned that people used to drug their children to get some sleep and they don't recommend it.

When you son used to wake up kalula, did he make an odd choking sound? Recently he has been coughing quite a bit and does sometimes sound like he is choking. He has been on 2 lots of antibiotics and we've been backwards and forwards to the GP, nurse practitioner etc. So we've just put the choking sound down to his chest infection.

Hmm.

We had a similar story. DS1 finally started sleeping through at 22mo after a) several months of using No Cry Sleep Solution techniques and b) taking him off dairy products.

Even now, if DS1 eats dairy he wakes in the middle of the night. Strange but true. This may not be relevant for you but it changed our lives! So I always mention it.

Have just had DS2 and have re read NCSS for a refresher on what not to do :)

HTH

Hi- my ds2 currently wailing away. 2.4 and normally wakes himself 5+ times a night. Waking baby brother but not elder brother strangely who shares his room. I'm so tired between him and ds3. Husband has taken to getting him up to watch cricket and after 2 minutes of that he usually puts himself back. What is No cry sleep Thingy technique?
Ps- do you not think this tends to be a boy thing? Friends with girls seem to get some peace.

I don't know whether it is a boy thing or not. My other son was a rubbish sleeper until he turned one, when he transformed into a pretty good sleeper. DS2 was different, and slept really well between around 6 and 20 weeks, so I know he can do it!

Good point about dairy. How did you know it was that?

TBH for ages I've just thought that it would get better when he crawled, or walked, or started running, but he does all those things now and it has made no difference!

He is a happy, jolly, contented little chap and the sleep issues don't seem to be bothering him. In all respects I have no other concerns about him, apart from the lingering lurgy that he and his brother share.

He's awake again, and really sobbing. I think it is his teeth this time.

DS2 is 17 months and wakes 3/4 times between midnight and 6am. He has NEVER slept through , no, I tell a lie he slept 12 - 5 on his first night. . He also feeds TWICE and I can't get him to settle without that.

DS 1 was an appalling sleeper until 18 months but not as bad as this and I had hoped that it would sort itself out. I need to get it sorted out tbh. Prolonged sleep deprivation is NOT NICE.

We discovered the dairy thing by accident. We were on holiday with his cousin who couldn't eat dairy so we gave them both goats milk for simplicity's sake. Magically, DS's chesty cough which had been lingering for months cleared up, his rashes went and he started sleeping loads better.

Like I say, it might not make any difference for you but anything is worth a go.

No Cry Sleep Solution is a book by Elizabeth Pantley. On my phone so can't do a link, sorry. I highky recommend it. It's not a quick fix but was perfect for us.

And Merry Christmas! (I'm not ignoring my children BTW, we're en route to visit famnily.I'm not driving either!)