Co-sleeping and moving to cot - when did you do it and did it make things better?

[thehumanpacifier]

Been co-sleeping with DS (8 months) pretty much since day one.

It has been a life saver TBH, but he still wakes every 2-3 hours either to latch on or to just be cuddled back to sleep. DH is convinced it would be beter if he was in his own cot, and he "just needs to get used to it".

I am not convinced, as he does have trouble settling himself and the same goes for day time naps, he has to be fed or rocked to sleep.

What I am looking for I guess are your general experiences, if/when did you stop co-sleeping, and has it made things better or worse since you stopped?

I am back to work in February, also wondered if co-sleeping still works for you in that situation?

Thanks

If by 8 months you are still being disturbed with that frequency ( albiet not too taxing as you are already in bed) I would say that for sanitys-sake when you start work- a good nights sleep is in order. Your husband is absolutly right- you would all sleep better if he was in his own cot, but if he hasn't been given the independence to learn to sleep on his own then it will be hard to get him to learn new sleep associations, however if you are determined- totally possible. When I decided I had had enough of being used as an on-tap milking machine when i was (trying to ) sleep. I put my kids through cold turkey- out on thier ear- 4 nights of crying and wailing from both of us- and then years of unbroken 12 hour sleeps for ever after. I imagine you would be of the gentler approach type though.

Tbh I found getting up and down out of bed to a cot far more annoying and sleep disturbing than waking up, latching on and dozing til we both went to sleep. I know many, many people do not sleep as well co-sleeping though. People are different and you need to decide what is best for YOU.

IMO I am trying to create positive sleep associations and going to sleep on their own eventually figures. I don't think it is necessary to do 'out on their ear- crying and wailing' (without comfort). There are better ways to 'teach; new things. I haven't taught my kids anything else by just ignoring them and letting them get on with it. But each to their own.

Worth bearing in mind that children WILL occasionally wake up whatevre sleep 'training' you do because they are not robots and sometimes will be teething/learning something new/hungry/disturbed by a loud noise/have a nightmare etc etc.

Try gradual withdrawal...put your DS in a sidecar arrangement rather than actually in your bed, or (if you can) butt the cot up to the bed and take one side off so he can get used to the environment while still being close to you.

I did this with DD at about 7.5months. She slept on the cot mattress by our bed, then in the cot itself, then we moved the cot out and spent a couple of nights in her room on a mattress on the floor, until it was clear she was okay with it.

I did have to do a little sleep training to get her used to being put down awake and encourage her not to want to stay latched on all night - but that was before she went into the cot. (It took three days).

She still wakes in the night, although much less than she did while in with us. I often end up sleeping on the mattress in her room (she's in her cot), although I don't think it makes much difference to her whether I'm there or not. It's more for my convenience!

Thanks for the replies. To sleep train or not to sleep train, suddenly I feel as if the clock is ticking, but on the same hand wonder if I am trying to solve a problem that doesn't exist.

I guess co-sleeping is working but know (or hope!) he eventually will be in his own bed, and that we will sleep better for it. Just not sure about this bit inbetween!

Maybe time to bite that bullet!

When he was 2yrs we moved him to his own 'big boy bed' and it only took him a couple of nights to settle. Any sooner and he wouldn't have been able to understand what we were doing. I wouldn't try it before a year as they reach a clingy stage from around 7 or 8 mths that lasts well into their 2nd year which can make things a lot more difficult for you in the long run.

He is still only really small so needing to be held/rocked to sleep is perfectly normal for a co-sleeping baby. Go with the flow and give him what he needs emotionally. You won't regret it.

Hi,
We've just moved our DD into her own room at 8 months and we are all sleeping better. We haven't done any "training" per se - just popped her in and see how she goes. She generally still wakes once a night (sometimes up to an hour and a half!!), but it is more manageable in a different room (and to be honest she was waking more frequently in bed with us). She's still fed to sleep and rocked off or fed during the night.

Anyway. My suggestion is just to try it. Why not give it a whirl for a week and see how the nights are. If they're pants, go back to co-sleeping. If they are better, happy days. There's no law to say that you can't move them back into your bed once they've been in their cot.

Thanks everyone. I am certainly in two minds at the moment. I'm a strong believer in giving that closeness and think it is vital for them as they grow. But at the same time like Gargula, I'm wondering if we will actually all sleep better, DS included, as I am up and down in the night with a bad back, so pretty sure I disturb him more than him me!

Certainly going to leave things as they are until after Christmas and see how we all feel then. But I suspect we will continue as we are for a little while longer...