How can i stop my 10 week old having meltdown at bedtime?

[mossycat]

help!

whenever we put our 10 week old DS to bed after his 8pm feed one of two things happen -within 10 minutes of being asleep he will wake and have a meltdown - crying inconsolably for about 1hr, or, he will sleep for 30 - 45 minutes then have his meltdown of crying for an hour.

we have tried picking him up and rocking him, leaving him in his crib and shushing him, puting in a dummy, winding him and trying to feed him. nothing stops the crying. The rest of the night he is Ok.

He used to go down to sleep lovely, but the only time he has done this in recent weeks is when he had his jabs and had a dose of Calpol.

we are still swaddling him cos he wakes himself up.

he has been recently diagnosed as having a silent reflux and we wondered if this is normal behaviour, or is he in pain????

we even wondered if this was some kind of 'learned behaviour' and could we mix up the bedtime routine - tho not sure how to do this???

does anyone experience the same and have any tips???

COuld be loads of things, but boy am I impressed that your DS went down at 8 for the night in the first place! That's quite an achievement with a baby so young.

First thought - if it's the reflux, then putting him down straight after a feed might not be helping. Best to hold refluxers upright for half an hour wherever possible to prevent spills and acid backwash.

Second thought - could be overtiredness. If he is wakign after a very short period of time, he maybe is too tired when you put him to bed, if you see what I mean. That can cause sleep disruption, peveresely. How does he nap in the day?

PS 30-45 minutes is one baby sleep cycle. My DS will go down only for 30 minutes when he is overtired (which is often, also has reflux) as he goes straight into a deep sleep and rouses as soon as he comes into a light sleep (you can tell by the flickering eyes and twitching limbs that he has entered the light sleep phase).

Narmada, thanks for your response. DS has a few naps in the day but they only last 30 mins. We are quite strict on these (especially the last one at 6-6.30pm when he goes in a sling to ensure the nap happens!!!)

Your description of flickering eyes and twitching limbs fits perfectly with our 30-40 min cycle. Do you know if there is anything you can do when he enters the light sleep phase to put him back into deep sleep (or is that just wishful thinking???).

Do you put DS into his cot sound asleep after his feed? If so when he comes up into a lighter sleep he might be non-plussed at finding you are not still holding him?

Could you start working on putting him in his cot dozy and helping him to self settle so he knows where he has gone to sleep? I find DS only sleeps properly when he goes to sleep in the place he's going to stay IYSWIM, moving him after him dropping off pretty much guarantees a strop when he notices!

MOssycat, not sure there is anything you can do to guarantee that they will go back into a deep sleep. The light sleep bit of the cycle lasts approx 25 minutes I think, and if I am desparate to get my LO to nap longer than 30-45 mins I will just carry on doing whatever I was doing to get him to sleep in the first place, throughout the light sleep phase. E.g, if he was being jiggled in the sling, I will re-jiggle him in the sling (but this is bloody tiring) or if he is in a swing with a dummy, I make sure he is still swinging and that the dummy is still in place.

The 'ideal' thing from a start-as-you-mean-to-go-on perspective is supposed to be, as EBDteacher says, to put them down drowsy but awake and help them to self settle, but this never ever worked with either of my kids I have to say. No amount of sush-pat worked. We did eventually crack it with DD but only after some fairly intensive sleep-training at around 7 months. I put it down to them both having reflux (which interferes massively with the ability to self-settle and sleep IMHO) and also in my DD's case, her personality.

Teela, if the issue was that he needed to be fed and held close we would have cracked this conundrum many weeks ago. When you have walked, bounced, rocked, shushed for an hour without any break in procedings you soon realise DS requires something else other than these basics.

Maybe the reflux issue complicates this situation beyond the comprehension of your own experience?

Narmanda - at the first sign of the "light sleep" phase my wife rushed upstairs to hold DS head and shush him back to sleep. We had only our second evening without crying in around five weeks. As with all these things we have no guarantee this will ever work again, but thank you for the tip!

She is now known as the "baby whisperer" and can be hired for £1000 per evening!!!!

Ohhh, reflux can cause HUGE sleep issues, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. People who don't have reflux babies often don't get it. Sleep problems are the most commonly reported lifestyle complication for adults with gastro-oesophagal reflux disease, so it is not surprising that babies' sleep is affected too. I definitely couldn't sleep well with acid washing repeatedly up my oesophagus.

Because it is difficult for refluxy babies to settle, they often become overtired and then this complicates things further as they are too wired to sleep - the wiredness plus the reflux is then keeping them awake - in my and many other reflux parents' experience.

mossycat, glad you had an evening without screaming. Hurra!