Night terrors? distressing crying - help

[hellomama]

My ds is 15 months old and about once a week he will wake either in the early evening or in the night with what seems to be night terrors. He appears to have eyes open when he wakes up crying, but is not conscious of anything said to him. He screams and screams and screams and scream and thrashes about, so it is very difficult to hold him.

Nothing you can do will settle him, including drinks, distractions, cuddles, rocking, singing etc. if you put him on the bed / floor etc he will roll around crying, but does appear to hold his arms out to me. Every now and again he will almost doze off, but will then launch into more screams. It is almost like it is wind, but I don't think thats it.

It is really distressing to see him like this. This will last for about 20-40 minutes until he eventually collapses and goes off to sleep like it had never happened. IS this night terrors? Is this something i should see the GP about? Should I be very worried or is this just a phase?

DD and DS both went through night terrors but there were about 2 years old and they didn't last for that long. I think the longest they had them for was 5 minutes. I used to get them out of bed and hold them, trying to wake them up.

They didn't last that long, maybe 2 months at the most.

But, if you are concerned, a trip to your Dr is fine. They may be able to offer some advice.

My ds is 21 months old and has been going through something similar. He will scream with fury, bang his fists on his cot, kick and writhe, doesn't calm when picked up, etc. Try taking him outside for some fresh air and giving him a drink, when he's fully awake you can try settling him down again.

They do sound like they are in pain, dh kept trying to give him Calpol, but I thought differently, he now concedes that I am right and he is wrong - just wish he would concede that point all the time! [sigh]

Re: Night terrors, although it maybe hard, do not pick them up or comfort them, they will not remember anything the day after no matter how old they are, if you do try to comfort them you may reinforce a broken nights sleep for a very long time, they do grow out of them...

Several factors may contribute to your child's night terrors. It's likely that if you or your spouse had night terrors, your child will, too. Fatigue and psychological stress may also play roles in their occurrence. Make sure your child is getting plenty of rest. Be aware of things that may be upsetting to your child, and to the extent you are able, try to minimize the distress.

A night terror is not the same thing as a nightmare. Nightmares occur during the dream phase of sleep known as REM sleep (this stands for Rapid Eye Movement; also known as "dreaming" sleep). The circumstances of the nightmare will frighten the child, who usually will wake up with a vivid memory of a long movie-like dream. Night terrors, on the other hand, occur during a phase of deep non-REM sleep - usually an hour or two after the child goes to bed. During a night terror, which may last anywhere from a few minutes up to an hour, the child is still asleep. Her eyes may be open, but she is not awake. When she does wake up, she'll have absolutely no recollection of the episode other than a sense of fear.

As your child is very young I don't personally think it will be nightmares, as her brain will not have adapted to processing 'danger'...hope this information helps...

So if they are screaming the place down and have woken up their siblings, what do you do with them? Just leave them to scream?

yes.

Sorry, no can do. He wakes up dd who gets distressed seeing him like that. Also, if I handle him my way, it takes around 10/15 mins to get him back to sleep, if I leave him he's at it for around an hour, screaming with rage or fear. Call me soft, but I just can't leave any child of mine to do that.

Also he doesn't do it every night, perhaps just 3 or 4 times a week, varying in severity. Dd was the same, although not quite as bad and after a couple of months she was ok. So I don't think it disturbs their sleep patterns too much.

I dont think its advised to try to wake them but I would still stay with your lo until it was over. In younger children they are called confusional arousal and can be triggered by overtiredness:

Confusional arousal" is the term applied to a variant of night terrors in older infants and toddlers. These "arousal disorders" typically occur at the end of the first or second sleep cycle of the night, and reflect the fact that children often sleep so deeply that the normal awakening at the end of a sleep cycle is partially stifled or suppressed. The result is the child may groan and thrash around without actually awakening to full awareness.

As is the case with night terrors, confusional arousals happen in the first half of the night (although if there are several during the night, they may spill over into the second half of the night, too). They can last from 5 to 45 minutes, but usually subside after about 5 or 10 minutes. The episode may seem to subside, then start again.

If a child is having confusional arousals, he or she will begin with moaning, which typically progresses to crying, thrashing around, sitting or standing (as opposed to night terrors, which begin suddenly). A few recognizable words may be blurted out, but most of the child's utterances are unintelligible. When picked up, these kids arch and thrash around. With toddlers, the behavior can look a lot like a temper tantrum. Attempts to fully awaken the child are futile until the episode has run its course.

There is not much to do for confusional arousals. The child is asleep and not in any distress; attempting to awaken the child often makes the time needed to resettle to quiet sleep longer. If the child is overtired (and sleeps deeper as a result), the events are more likely to be triggered. Anything that upsets normal sleep rythmns (illness, travel, disrupted naps) tends to make arousal disorders more likely.

Ensuring adequate rest and regular sleep habits helps to reduce the chances of an attack. Behavioral waking episodes later in the night can aggravate confusional arousals earlier in the night, so elimination of these problem wakings can help reduce or eliminate confusional arousals.

Of course, your first instinct will be to comfort him, but your efforts will most likely be futile (remember, he's not really awake and he's not aware of your presence). You just have to wait it out and make sure he doesn't hurt himself. Don't speak to him or try to soothe him, and don't try to shake or startle him awake or physically restrain him ? all of which could lead to more frantic behavior. In 15 to 20 minutes, your child should calm down, curl up, and fall into a deep sleep again.

There are several steps you can take to reduce the chances that your child will have night terrors. First, make sure that he's getting enough sleep, since children who go to bed overtired are more likely to experience these sleep disturbances. To avoid fatigue, extend your child's nap time, let him sleep a little later in the morning, or put him to bed earlier at night. And be sure to schedule plenty of time for calming bedtime rituals, such as a bath, a song, a book, and lots of cuddling.

Since night terrors usually occur during the first part of the night, you could also try gently rousing your toddler after he's been asleep for an hour or two ? about 15 minutes before the typical episode would start. This should alter his sleep pattern enough to head off the night terror at the pass.

Sounds exactly like the occasional episode dd (23 months) has we think they are night terrors too.

In the most recent one dd stripped her entire bed shouting 'NO' or 'GO AWAY' at everything she removed and threw across the room (toys, pillow, duvet and even sheets) in the middle of what was about an half an hour 'terror'

It is very scary when they don't even respond to you except with the occasional 'NO' but thankfully she doesn't seem to recall any of it in the morning

My dd has just started these. I remember from dd2 that I should just leave her but she likes it when I sing - seems to calm her down. I'm shattered as it's always 3/4 am. With dd2 it started after an automatic door closed on her and ended just as quickly. Dd3's seem to be brought on by the new puppy.

I listened to an item on this on Jeremy Vine's programme on Radio 2 last week. I know it's possible to listen again to programmes but I'm not sure which day it was on, but Tuesday ish rings a bell. It was on around 1pm. You could try going to the Radio 2 website and searching for it if you think it would help to listen to the expert talking about this. I think she said not to wake them up. It's a bit like taking the book away from someone up when they are going through the scary bit and before they get to the bit where it all sorts itself out and ends well. Their brain doesn't get to learn that it can be resolved and by waking them up you can make the problem continue. I think that is what was said. I have gone to my children in the night before now and I think I made things worse, not better, so I think I'll leave them alone in future and just be aware that they may well be more tired and crotchety the next day and cut them some (extra) slack. I hope the problem resolves itself soon. Good luck!

My dd has been having these since she was about two and a half, now at three and a half she has a couple a week. They have definitely escalated since she started her new school. Must agree with those who say trying to comfort is futile. The crying/screaming is heartbreaking, like she is in pain (I did wonder if it could be wind), but she appears to have no sense of me being there, and has never remembered an episode in the morning. If I try to cuddle her she thrashes against me and clearly wants to be back where she was - totally unlike her normally where any excuse for a cuddle from mummy after lights out would be jumped out.

I can imagine that if a child is sharing a room though it must be very hard to leave them for fear of the effect on the other children.

Thank god for MN. I was stressing out over DSs odd behaviour on this thread and now I not only know the answer, but how to deal with it.
Phew.
DS has just started a new nursery and is not wanting to sleep there. He is stressed and overtired. I hope that he gets over this soon!

You are all amazing! Thank you so much for the helpful responses. It has been interesting reading. It is also useful (and reassuring) to know that we aren't the only ones going through this.

It is definitely true that he tends to have them when he has been overtired. I too had them as a child but i was much older. I will let you know how we get on.

My 15 month old ds woke at 11.30 last night (went to sleep at 7 as usual)- screaming in utter terror like I've never heard before, definately wide awake and reaching out for me, didn't want a drink, tried pain killers then tried putting him in his cot when he had settled with me - back to square one with the terrified screaming, lay with him on the sofa bed so dh could get some sleep (working this weekend), eventually settled in his cot at 12.30 after 3 attempts to get him down. So, any ideas - from this thread not a night terror as he was clearly awake, no new toys in the room/cot that could have set him off, is he too young for nightmares? He has always been a good sleeper, and there's nothing going on at the moment to stress him out, he sleeps well in the day for an hour or so and goes to bed when he starts grizzling regardless of the time! Help!!