Please help- think I've c*cked up sleep training my 12mo DD2 :(

[JumpingJellyfish]

Trying to be brief: DD2 was a non self-settling cosleeping b'fed at night frequently falling asleep on the boob baby. A month ago I finally decided we needed to get her to sleep in her cot, preferably for at least 5 hours at a go in the night. I also have DS (5) & DD1 (3) and working 20hrs a week. I was finding I was sleeping really badly when cosleeping as she'd become very wriggly, plus DH never sleeps in the same bed as us as he can't settle with her in it and we've had enough of sleeping apart- but mostly I am beyond exhausted.
Reading up I decided as I couldn't face a long "sleep training" method we would have to opt for controlled crying (which was really my last resort). Find it very hard but within a week she was settling much better, until about 8 days ago when she cut another tooth and also came down with not just a bad cold but also diarrhoea. Very unsettled so ended up cosleeping and the odd b'feed thrown in too (having just stopped...)- now she seems much better but really struggling to settle her in the cot again. Am I basically back at square one? Do we just have to go through the whole process again. I am :( listening to her cry, I am really a no-cry sort of parent as far as possible, but lack of sleep is driving me to desperate measures.

Help please!!

I'm sorry not to have any advice as haven't tried cc, but sitting here holding 15 mo bf dd to sleep (but doesn't always work, like now!). I'm using no cry sleep solution methods, which are very gradual. I find that I'm often having to go back a step (or more than a step, like now as she is waking up and crying every time I try to put her back in the cot). Just wanted to offer sympathy really.

Thank you Belindarose- sympathy is good!
Used the No Cry method with DS- it is long, but worked in the end, and now aged 5 he sleeps his 11.5-12 hours a night like a dream, completely comatose!! I wish I had the energy to use it with DD2, but finding I just don't have the willpower and need a quicker working method, but hating hating hating hearing her cry so hard :(

Good luck- and kisses to your DD x

DS is a similar age and is just getting over an illness. He was sleeping with us until the last couple of nights. I just put him back in his cot as normal and he soon got the hang of it (I didn't use CC though to teach self settling).

Perhaps she's still not quite right hence the struggle? I'd keep trying and suspect she'll get back on track quickly.

Thanks iggly, I do think she's taking a while to get over whatever bug it is and that's certainly not helping. Just hard to know when I expect her to go back to self settling, especially as she'd only just got the hang of it really...

Out of interest what method did you use and how long did it take?

Er I just used to put DS down in his cot after a feed after I'd winded him (on his front, sometimes on his back). The room would be dark. He'd sometimes fall asleep by himself, I could tell if he wouldn't as he'd start to cry. So I'd pick him up, say night night, check for wind and put down again. If he stayed calm, I would keep my hand on him or give him his toy or shuffle around so he knew I was there. He'd then drift off. It sounds simple - but it took ages to get there originally, probably weeks before it was consistent! I just kept trying - putting him down after a feed when I knew he was drowsy. He likes to sleep on his front, so putting him down that way probably is more comfy for him so he's likely to drift off.

I do this even now - so if I think he's getting better (which he is), I try doing what I would do normally at bedtime. If he cries, I pick up otherwise I'll leave him.

There is a developmental spurt at 55 weeks, (the 13 month sleep regression) so this may affect her ability to get the hang of things again. (More info There?s useful information about it here, here and here.)

I helped my 7 m.o. settle better by rocking almost to sleep - put down - cry - pick straight up - rock almost to sleep again and repeat, repeat, repeat. I only did it from the first waking though, not at bedtime, but I saw improvements pretty quickly. Before that he would be rocked to sleep, but I'd really struggle to put him down (unless I fed him to sleep instead).