Knackered! Please help me with our 'routine'!

[skippingturtle]

DD is 5 and a half months and we're really struggling with two things: the impossibility of getting her to nap in her cot (or in anything but a moving car, moving pram or moving swing!), and her overtiredness in the last couple of hours of the day. This is what we do: (disclaimer - all times are approximate!!)

7am up
8.15 feed
8.30 sleep (naps are anything from 30 to 40 mins, with the occasional hour)
10.30 sleep
11.45 feed
2.00 sleep
3.00 feed
3.45 sleep
5.00 feed
7.00 feed and bed

She's SO tired from about 4.30, but impossible to get to nap in that part of the day.

What are we doing wrong?

Hi there, if she is getting tired in the early evening and you are stuggling to get her to nap, have you considered an earlier bedtime - say 6.30pm? It won't necessarily mean an earlier wake up and will reduce the overtiredness in the evening. WRT the napping in a cot thing, my DD was exactly the same until about the same age when I was absolutely exhausted from 4 or 5 pram walks a day! So one week I decided to tackle it and concentrated on getting her to have one nap in her cot. I chose the early morning nap because this was the one she settled best for. I sat and patted and shushed her until eventually she got the idea! Once we'd managed this then I found it easier to get her napping for all of them in her cot. Maybe you could do the same for the nap that tends to be the most predictable?
BTW you are not doing anything wrong, it will get easier and I never would have imagined that I would end up with a 22 month old who won't sleep anywhere but her cot!!
Good luck!! ps if you want a good book I could recommend the Get Your Child to Sleep book by the Millpond Sleep Clinic - lots of good ideas in it to suit whatever approach you are comfortable with (i.e. cry vs no cry)

You've got a big gap in naps - 10.30 then 2? Can you have a nap around 1 then another around 3/4 then early bedtime? Having the morning and midday nap closer together means she'll get less overtired and less likely to crash come later on.

When you start weaning you might find a better nap routine develops - so one at 9, one at 12, one at 3/4 ish, all after meals.

My DS didn't really nap in his cot until 8 months or there abouts. Very common!

Thanks for your advice! I've been trying so hard to follow her cues but the time has come for more predictability! My HV raised her eyebrows at 4 naps a day.

I've been scared to try an early bedtime in case she wakes up earlier but I'll give it a go, that last part of the day is a mighty struggle.

Teleaddict, I'm worried about DD ending up only sleeping in her cot as she'll be going to a childminder in Jan so we need to keep some flexibility. Did you find that a problem?

My DD (6 months on Saturday) is pretty much the same except she will have at least 4 naps. She'll usually have a little snooze while feeding (breast feeding) at least once during the day as well. She usually sleeps at 9, 11ish, 1-1.30 and then 4ish. She will only fall asleep if we're out moving or having a feed.

Night times are a nightmare as well. Last night she was awake every 2-1.5 hours. She would feed well from one side and then be too sleepy to feed from the other side and then wake up presumably because she was hungry again. What are nights like for you?

This must be a 5 month thing - my DS is the same - hates napping and will only go on the move. If i try in the house he fights me all the way. A friend said that once they start moving they are much better at napping so I'm hoping for that. He does have 4 naps though at pretty much the same times as Liloosmum's little one. I have started weaning him and find that he goes easiest on the first nap and the one after lunch which is a big improvement on before weaning.

Earlier bedtime doesn't seem to affect the morning waking - he seems programmed to wake at about 6 (it used to be 7.30 - grrr!) regardless of when he goes to bed.

Aargh! Nights at the moment are AWFUL, she's waking every couple of hours yelling and writhing. I say she's waking, she also does it in her sleep.
Yesterday my OH did manage to get her in her cot for every nap, so fingers crossed that might work again. Put her to bed half an hour earlier last night which really helped, except she woke at 6 this morning...

Is she teething? This may explain the yelling in the night. Have you tried Calpol?
It can be restrictive that our DD will only nap in her cot, she will drop off in her pushchair/car if we time it right. But to be honest I live with it because she is so good over night and I like having the time to get things done in the day. Could you take a travel cot to the childminders or once she is sleeping in her cot during the day just make sure you balance it with sleeps in her pushchair - with hindsight we didn't do this enough. Also, I don't think 4 naps is excessive at this age - they get tired so quickly. I'd carry on doing what suits you both and ignore your HV!
I sometimes think bedtimes don't always impact wake up time - my MIL looked after DD last week and I was horrified when she said she had put her in bed at 5pm!! However, DD didn't wake until gone 6am the next morning! If she is going to wake up at that time anyway then I'd rather put in her bed before she gets overtired which means she struggles to drop off and we have bad nights.

It does sound like she's teeting at the moment from what you say about her night-times. Is she showing some of the classic signs - flushed cheeks, hard gums, chewing fists etc. ? I find calpol, calprofen and anbesol to work well. Also the ashton & parsons teething powders.

My DD is 5 months on Saturday and has 2 naps during the daytime, TBH Im absolutely fine with this, I wasn't aware that they were meant to nap any more at this age?? Her naps usually last between 30 and 60 mins but can sometimes be longer.

However, she does generally sleep well at night-time other than when her teeth are bothering her e.g. last night she did 9pm-6.30am so perhaps she doesn't need as much sleep in the day.

She does chew anything and everything, but then she's done that for about 6 weeks now. I've had a look for anything resembling a tooth under the skin but can't see anything as yet. Her cheeks are a bit flushed, so perhaps that could be it!

We did use Calpol the other night when she had her cold, bless her, she hated it! We'll try the other stuff you recommend to see if that helps. Feel guilty complaining about her if she's sore (can't believe MN doesn't do a guilty emoticon!)

Cheers for the advice!

Let us know if anything works