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Why won't he go to sleep?

12 replies

Woodlands · 28/11/2010 21:52

AARGH. i have jusat sworn at my baby and burst into tears and left the room. i am a terrible mum. dh is with him, don't worry, and is soothing him off to sleep. hopefully. he's 4 months, we're struggling with the 4 month sleep regression. he will not go to sleep unless he is fed to sleep. it's all very well people going on about rods and backs but frankly it's either that or leaving him to cry, which i have not done and will not do, and also bfing is designed to get babies off to sleep so why fight it. so far so good. but every evening is an endless repeat of feeding him to sleep, then i put him down oh so gently, wait 5 mins, tiptoe out of the room, then he starts crying again. and repeat. then a few goes of feed him to sleep, put him down, eyes snap open, crying starrts. endlessly. over and over again. however soundly asleep he is in my arms he will not stay asleep when i put him down. i then move on to feeding him lying down, in the hopes i can edge slowly away from him when he is asleep, then shift him from our bed to the co-sleeper cot when we come to bed. no luck - as soon as i start to move he twitches and starts crying.

for ages we were just putting him to bed when we went, as he just wouldn't go down before, but a) we need a bit of adult only time in the evenings and b) it either means him not waking up till 11-12 in the morning so we can't do anything in the mornings, or i have to get him up earlier which means he is grouchy and overtired all day. neither is ideal. we have had a few successful evenings of putting him to bed early but this is the fourth night in a row of feed-put down-feed-put down for 3-4 hours at a time and i have had enough.

will it get easier?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Woodlands · 28/11/2010 21:52

i'm so tired, he's gone back to waking every 3 hours and often staying awake for ages as well. plus i think he's teething. aargh.

OP posts:
sazlocks · 28/11/2010 21:58

It does get easier honestly. We had a nightmare around this time with DS2. One thing which I found really helped him was to make sure he had enough good naps in the day so that he wasn't overtired and bonkers by nighttime.
good luck

Cosmosis · 29/11/2010 08:22

I have no answers, only sympathy, I have exactly the same with 12wk old DS. Fast asleep in my arms, put him down then he's wide awake, pick him up (if I don't he just ends up screaming) and he's fast asleep again - repeat endlessly.

BaggedandTagged · 29/11/2010 10:58

What happens if you dont leave him but do shush and pat rather than feed to sleep?

I only ask as my son has never fed to sleep even though I'm bf(it never worked even when he was newborn so I had to find another method which is basically a random "bespoke" mixture of PUPD and shush/pat.)Once he's calm, I leave him to self settle and it usually works.

It can take a while (up to an hour)at bedtime (7pm) and he does cry but at least I'm there IYSWIM and as he wont FTS there's not much alternative. Weirdly, after his night feeds he goes back down without a fight.

Cosmosis · 29/11/2010 11:03

this is going to sound like a stupid q, but what do you actually do for sss/pat?

BaggedandTagged · 29/11/2010 11:25

literally that.

He is in his cot (half swaddled and in sleeping bag)

You have to shush quite loudly and non-stop. Try to make them long shushes- i think the theroy is that it's basically white noise. Then pat them repeatedly(quite firmly).I usually do one hand at the chest and one on the legs. When I pat I leave my hands on him for couple of seconds, then repeat. It's more a press than a pat I suppose.

If you google it, you make well get a youtube demo.

Cosmosis · 29/11/2010 11:38

will do, might as well try it!

Woodlands · 29/11/2010 13:10

see i've always wondered about shh/pat as i thought the patting ought to be on their back/bum, which is obviously a problem if they are sleeping on their back. i might try it with chest and legs.

i'd also like to try PUPD but the cot is in an awkward position, up against the wall on one side and the bed on the other (no bars on that side), with a chair covered in my clothes between the foot of the cot and the end of the bed. so to reach the cot you have to crawl across the bed. imight try it though.

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fifitot · 29/11/2010 13:14

Sounds like my 4m old. No answers except I went to bed when he did last night at 7.30 and though I still had a disturbed night with lots of wakening, managed to bank a few hours sleep so not feeling as desperate today.

I think going to bed at 7.30 is the way forward for me at the moment! It officially means I now have no life though..ho hum. TTSP.

Cosmosis · 29/11/2010 13:25

Yes I do that sometimes too fifitot, it does make you feel better! Also yesterday I made DH get up with DS and I had an extra hour and a half in the morning, lovely Grin

Woodlands · 29/11/2010 13:41

yes i think you might be right - am just so tired at the moment. i've got choir practice tonight though, was hoping to get him off to sleep before i leave, especially as he has decided not to take a bottle any more.

i just wish i could have a night off, one night of being able to sleep all night! oh well.

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fifitot · 29/11/2010 13:47

Woodlands - I feel your pain! Mine won't have a bottle anymore, there is no respite, I am soooooooooo knackered too. I fantasise about going alone to a hotel for 2 nights and sleeping all the time!

However I have to remind myself that it gets better.....I bloody hope so anyway!

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