Sleep experts for bf babies please please help me!

[devotion]

Thank you for reading this, I've been here before but for some reason I am not getting through this stage and its wearing me down.

Dd is 10mths and was bf feeding 8-10 times in 24 hours on demand. I start babyled weaning at 6mths as i thought it was a more interesting way of starting food rather than the usual bland baby rice etc which i did other times.

So she only really start eating properly about 8mths hence the many bf's. I want to bf her until her 1st birthday. Everything I read about bf tells you to feed on demand and that its more importnat than food until they're one.

But what they did not say is they will most prob want to feed all night and leave you falling apart.

I'm not really doing blw now but she still feeds herself and I also feed her with teh smaller messy stuff so I just basically skipped the pureed stage.

Her routine is:

6-7am - bf
back to sleep for an hour

9ish - weetabix or other cereal

10am - bf and sleep for about 40mins

12ish - lunch, cheese on toast or sandwich with piece of fruit and natural yogurt. i use to also bf here but stopped that 2 weeks ago

1.30pm - bf then sleep up to two hours (rare)

4pm - offer snack but never interested prefers bf

5.30ish - dinner, pasta and yogurt again

7.30pm - bf and bed

11.30pm - 12.30am - bf

she use to feed 3 and 5am but I have refused these feeds for the last few weeks and she has accepted that now but still wakes about 3ish and it can take 40mins to three hours!!! to settle her. I'm falling apart.

Why is it taking this long to make her sleep. Some nights she wakes every hour.

I'm settling her off with the baby whispering technique, when she cries i pick her up and then as soon as she relaxes (couple of seconds) i put her back down, I may do this about 20 times before she stops crying then as soon as my head hits the pillow she starta again. its soul destroying some nights and I have to try so hard to remain calm. If my partner picks her up she goes crazy trying to push off him. It has to be me so I am the one who's having to go through this. He sleeps in the living room so he can get some sleep for work and he also dresses and takes our other children to school. Every morning I am wrecked and find it so hard to start the day. I'm basically dealing with newborn baby sleep 10 months on.

I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE :(

Any advice whatsoever would be really really appreciated.

What am I doing wrong?

Thank you

Hi Devotion,
I could have written your post 2 weeks ago. My baby girl is same age and we were doing BLW etc. Her night wakings had gotten more and more and I was truly beside myself with tiredness and frustration.

I used a book called the Good Sleep Guide by Angela Henderson. It explained about sleep and alos about leaving to cry but has a big pre-programme where you make sure you solve all the other issues that could be waking your baby up in the night. I thought it was a really good clear book btw.

For us that meant nightweaning her. I made a record of how often and how long she was feeding in the night. It turned out she had started having to meals at night plus lots of wee comfort sucks. Then I decided that I would make a note of when she first ate after going to sleep and that the following nights I would refuse to feed her before that time. In 3 nights I had her back to eating in the day rather than having some milk intake at night. In addition I started to spoonfeed her and give her food at scheduled times for at leat 40mins at a time. She now has a full breakfast, and about a half to three quarter portion for lunch and dinner. She has gone from feeding countless times day and night to feeding both sides morning and night, plus a wee nip after lunch sometimes. I offer in the afternoon but she is starting to refuse (!!!and this baby was a boob fiend!!!)

I still leave plenty of time for playing with her food and after she has had a decentish amount let her feed herself etc as best she can. But really she has gone from being almost fully BF to almost fully weaned in two weeks. And shes happy again!!!! She looked so tired and was so moody. I found that very difficult. Now things are much much better. I

We still have a little night waking to contend with, I still BF her to sleep. But she has accepted that BF are a daytime thing.

There were tears and long nights of patting and cuddling, but she is now up maybe once a night and often just for 5 mins. Its amazing - I am still recovering from extreme sleep deprivation, I often coped on 4 hours sleep a day and was a total wreck.

I offer plenty of breastmilk, but its plain to me that this wasn't enough if I wanted to get a decent nights sleep.

Devotion
I am breast feeding at 11 months and have the odd night when he feeds for what feels like hours on end- but i just co sleep and try to sleep whilst he feeds so i just want to reassure you that some times this is how babies feed- my son was slow to get into food and i no longer fight him- i know he will breast feed more on those days that he eats less and i just try to accept it and sleep as he feeds, which i know you are not doing so maybe that is no help but well done you for breastfeeding up to a year- it can be hard work but you are giving your child a brilliant future foundation for your baby's health.

I know a lot of mums whose babies eat less than my son but breastfeed a lot- up to 18 months.

Thanks Mears. I bf in the morning before work and late pm when i get home and whenever he asks during the evening before bed. Most lunhtimes i have also run hme to feed him.