Putting baby down to sleep: What am I missing?!

[ExistentialistCat]

I feel like I'm missing something very obvious here. Am I?

DD2 is 9 weeks old. She will only sleep on me (mostly in a sling) during the day. At night, I can put her in her moses basket for a few hours but she usually ends up in bed with us (and I really don't want to be co-sleeping) after one of the night feeds as she just won't settle anywhere else.

Question: How do you 'just put the baby down' as various helpful people keep telling me I should be doing?

I know all the stuff about putting her down sleepy but awake. I've tried swaddling, dummy, warming the basket, you name it. She's not fooled. She wants to be near me and she just won't fall asleep otherwise.

DD1 somehow started settling on her own at about 10 weeks without us having to do anything in particular. Do I need to have faith that DD2 will get there in her own time, or do I need to be a bit firmer and put up with more crying? How much of a role does bfing play (DD1 ff, DD2 EBF)?

I did the car seat for nap thing today and it worked perfectly so thanks for that tip! The little bugger has decided he will no longer feed to sleep for naps any more though, so getting him to sleep is much harder work. I am consoling myself with the thought that he is actually starting to attempt to self setle though, albeit very very badly at the moment

Oh well EC - just a thought. Your nights sound soooo similar to ours - its hard isn't it!

I could have written your op EC (it's Bumperlicious). I'm lucky that DD2 will sleep for a good period in her hammock, though it can take 3 or 4 goes and a couple of hours to get her to settle in there. one horrific night it was 2am and took 6 goes. she doesn't sleep in the evening, maybe a micro nap while she cluster feeds for hours.

during the day she will only sleep on me or in the carseat if we are out and about. it means that some days she barely sleeps at all despite needing it.

my ILs and mum seem quite horrified but i wonder what exactly i am supposed to do? she just cries. occasionally she will stay asleep if moved onto dh but not often. i'm bloody sick of the sling already.

dd1 was much better but i'm not sure if that was later. but she was bfed so i don't think it is that.

i did catch dd2 falling asleep on the sofa the other day as i was faffing around getting ready to go out. she had been complaining, but not too loudly and i was ignoring her, but then i had to stick her in the car seat which she howls in for the first 10 mins unless we are moving. i drive along praying not to hit a red light or get stuck behind a bus!