Please share your bedtime routines for 4-month-olds (ish)

[JenniferCanesten]

General advice says bath, book bed etc but I can't bath my ds every night as a) I don't think it's healthy for a baby to be that clean and b) he goes batshit crazy in the bath splashing like he's playing bongos on crystal meth. It's a two-person job and more water ends up outside the bath than in it. I just don't see how it can be relaxing for bedtime!

Currently in the middle of 4-month sleep regression so looking for ideas to implement now so will have really solid routine in place by the time he's ready to start sleeping properly again.

Thanks!

erm..

DD! - full bathy feedy beddy every night @9 (though she may wake after that, fair dos)
DS - scream fest @6-7pm, no bath,frantic feeding , deep unconsciousness by 7.30 when he refuses to feed any more and just screams, and i put him another room to calm down (against conventional wisdom, but cuddling him was making him angry and a quiet dark room got him off to sleep faster)

DD2 - not 4 months yet, but .feed...change/..feed..change...feeeeeeed..change. sleep. from 6-7.

i think only first children get bathed every night.

He can't sit up on his own well enough yet so that is why I say it is a 2-person job. Plus we don't have a bath unfortunately, just a shower and the bathroom is too small to bathe him in easily so we do it in living room. Lucky we don't have carpets!

The issue is more that he is such an alert, playful baby that relaxing things like massage or "quiet cuddles" are hopeless - we do have a reasonable routine as it is but I am just looking for some more ideas. Books don't really work as only one of them is tolerated as that one has a finger puppet he can bite (teething)!

Just taking DS upstairs, changing him under dim lights and putting his sleeping bag on is the signal. He then has a feed and usually goes off in his cot for a couple of hours.

Unfortunately the rest of the night is not as peaceful as this!!!!!!!!

We do bath, massage, change, feed in dim lights wind, then sleep. We also find that he splashes around like a mental hyperactive crazy thing in the bath and I worry that it is too stimulating but I daren't stop it as he's always had a bath at home and (touch wood, fingers and toes crossed, please do not jinx myself....) always goes out like a light.

We find the massage is great and really relaxes him after his crazy bath - would it be worth having another go at this? We went to a baby massage class at the local health centre and started when he was about 6 weeks old. The massage is a really useful bedtime cue when we go away in our campervan and can't bath him at night.

Saying this the rest of the night is pretty horrendous as we are going through the sleep regression malarky too. This is my first baby and I know bugger all but everyone I know with babies about this age looks like a walking zombie - I think it is a fairly universally bad time for sleep!

We try and keep every night the same which helps.

DH comes home about 6pm and pretty much takes over: -

6 - 6.30 is play time - jumping on daddy, talking, chewing things
6.30 - 7 is naked time - for rolling, crawling, walking
7 - last feed of the day either boob or bottle
7.15 - bath time - lots of squealing and shouting, spashing etc
7.20 - massage, bed time cream to help his breathing at night
7.25 - into the bedroom to put on pyjama's and into cot, little bit of playing with his stuffed toys, lights are dim
7.30 - bedtime - mobile goes on, lays down in cot and daddy talks to him about his day until he stops babbling and just stares at the mobile, then he just goes to sleep

The last part can take from 10 minutes to an hour, but when he's ready DS goes to sleep. We don't leave the room until he's asleep or really really calm.

DS did the whole bath before bed thing beautifully.
DD is four months and always becomes incredibly alert and giggly 1/2 an hour before bed. It's like she knows I'm exhausted and decides it's time play.
That or she realises DS is going to bed an she might get some one2one time
I just wrap her up anyway, stick her in cot in a dark room with dummy and blankets tucked in TIGHT (to prevent arm flailing) and she is usually asleep in under 15 minutes.
Has to be dark and quiet though or she'd stay up all night.
I just sit at the top of the cot (behind he head) and read blogs on my phone where she can't see me, but I can reach in for the occasional pat if she is getting fussy.

Also is your baby breast or formula fed? I have a friend who is a fouls and reckons sleep regression at 4 months is almost always hungry.
I always express and freeze milk ready for this phase, but if you ff you could just give them a bit more than you normally would and/or switch to goodnight milk.
Should buy you a few more weeks before weaning.

hi there

have you considered getting a small inflatable bath from tesco? I use it when we go caravanning ( only shower) and they are excellent.

I would highly recommend a bath/bed routine every night because

1. It's an easy sleep association for a baby to work out

1. Is great for travelling/jetlag etc

1. Once the kids are a little older they will not need it immedietely before bedtime as their routines are established already.

I bath my 2 and 4 yr old in the same bath with my 5 mth old playing next to me on the floor. I then bath the 5 mth old in one of those baths that go into a big tub so you are hands free ( brilliant buy)

My 5 mth old has bath, massage, singing time, dressed ( all in bathroom) and then bf, sleeping bag and bed. Whilst I am doing this, the other two are watching a DVD.

Then I do teeth and toilets for the older two and put the 2 year old to bed first and about 10 mins later the 4 yr old!

wow, you all make me feel totally inadequate! DD's bedtime routine at that age was nappy/bedclothes/sleeping bag on, feed, feed, feed, feed some more till she was a sleep, hold till she was REALLY blotto, then put in cot!

PS - really important to put them down to bed AWAKE. I didnt do this with my first two ( rocked etc) and I paid the price. With dd3 I always make sure I wake her after her bedtime feed and burp her etc. Also, putting the sleeping bag on wakes her and I usually say bedtime ( and the baby sign for it) and she smiles and then I say night night sleep tight and switch the light off. Sometiems she cries for a few minutes, most of the time she just goes to sleep as she knows it's time. BUT it took a few tears to get to this stage - thats quite normal.

amijee how did you finally solve the rocking to sleep thing? our dd (20 weeks, 14 corrected) tends to scream the house down when it's time for bed at 7pm (we do have a routine which we stick to religiously) and the only thing that calms her down is being held & gently swayed to sleep before we can put her down. weird because when we wake her for dream feed at 10.30pm she's wide awake but goes in her basket awake & settles like a dream. i imagine this is a phase we have to deal with & hope she'll grow out of it but am worried this is it for bedtime for the forseeable future!

sorry to hijack the thread!

Thanks - is really interesting to see how different people's routines (and babies) are...

We used to always feed DS to sleep, but then we just decided to stop. It took a few evenings of crying and PUPD/shh pat but he got through it pretty quickly.

The thing that really seemed to calm him down was being calm ourselves, babies can pick up on people moods so if you become stressed when they cry it makes them cry more.

It's really important to try and calm them down whilst they are in the cot, so that you don't have to repeat the cycle of putting down and them getting upset again, once you've got the ability to calm them down without having to pick them up your pretty much there...

touches every piece of wood in the house

crap...didn't mean to bold that....

blossom - there are a number of different sleep training methods you can use. PUPD, gradual withdrawal, crying it out.

Personally, I would pat my dd on the bottom ( she sleeps prone) which seemed to soothe her and put her to sleep. This would then get shorter and shorter. The other important thing is to make sure they are not overtired as it makes it more difficult to put them to sleep.

She did cry thru it but I felt I was there for her patting her and reassuring her and it didnt last long. They can quickly learn new methods to sleep. As she got older, she started sucking her thumb which helps massively

i also feel inadequate... our routine is that early evening (7ish) i get ds ready for bed - change, wash hands/face/bum, into babygro - and then keep him up until he starts to looksleepy. then i whisk him off to bed and feed him till he's asleep. we only bathe him once every 3 nights. he does sometimes settle himself from awake but usually i just feed to sleep. i figure bfing was designed to get babies to sleep, why fight it? probably storing up problems for myself. oh well.

last night i was going out at 1930 so actually took ds to bed at 1815 even though he wasn't tired. the routine did seem to soothe him and he was asleep by 1930, and didn't wake till nearly midnight. i may stop waiting for sleepy signs!

amijee - i did wonder if she was getting overtired as some evenings are worse than others. i think i need to try a more structured nap routine for her as at the moment she sleeps for various times at various periods throughout the day. she gets between 14-16 hours in total each 24 hour period which i think is about right for her age but maybe it's not enough or perhaps she needs the structure. she used to sleep loads more each day but all of a sudden started staying more awake during the day, i assume as she's started to develop & become more alert.

thanks for the other info too, will look up PUPD as i haven't heard of that method.

hi blossom

I wouldnt be too paranoid about exact times of naps etc - it can lead to more stress than it's worth.

I think the important thing is recognising when they are tired ( whenever that may be) and putting them down to sleep.

Also each baby is different. I find my dd3's optimum awake time between last nap and bed time is only 2.5 hrs but my ds1 used to be awake much longer in the evening ( but was also a much worse sleeper!)

At 4 mths they are more alert and there is loads going on in their brain. I think this is why their sleep goes haywire.

Thanks amijee. I admit I have been stressing about how to structure naps a bit, being flexible is better for me as I like to go out & about a lot so I guess I'll stick with that for now. I'm also starting to recognise when she's tired aswell so I am learning, it just takes time!

I chuck mine into bed and she goes to sleep and sleeps through til morning. Has done since 10 weeks.

My oldest was the same, slept through from early on without a bedtime routine at all.

Bedtime routine is just another bollocks stick to beat parents with IMO.

IME the people who are precious about bedtime routines have shit sleepers and the routine makes no difference except to make them feel as though they are trying.

Walker - I think you are very lucky and I am envious of you having such good sleepers.

Unfortunately mine never were/are and so I have to "be on top of it" for their sakes as well as mines. ( tired kids are not happy kids)

I must admit, when I first read your post, I thought it said " people who are precious about bedtime routines have shit SLIPPERS!"

I was trying to work out what was wrong with the slippers DH bought me last xmas!!

DS was a great sleeper til he hit 3.5/4 months now is all over the shop - I naively thought once your baby is sleeping really well they just get better and better until one day they bring you breakfast in bed. D'oh.