My 6mo falls sleep fine but doesn't stay asleep!

[schroedingersdodo]

DS is 6 months and a half and hardly naps for more than 30 min each time (and never more than 40 min, ever). He naps 3 times during the day (stays awake for approximately 2 hours between them) and then goes to sleep at about 8pm. But then, again, he doesn't stay asleep! Every night he will wake up several times up until about 10pm (sometimes I breastfeed him when he wakes, sometimes I don't), when then he "gets it" and sleeps for a few hours (he feeds a couple of times during the night, but as we co-sleep it's not a problem for me).

I would like him to sleep a bit longer during the day, as sometimes he wakes up after one of his very short naps still looking sleepy and rubbing his eyes.

I really wish he would remain asleep after 8pm, as I would like to have dinner with DH in peace (sometimes) or even maybe go out with friends once in a while, while DH takes care of DS. But this sounds like a distant dream. I follow a routine at night: he eats fruit at about 6:30pm, then has his bath and then I go with him to bedroom with low lights, bf him and wait until he falls asleep.

He can't self settle, but I don't mind rocking or holding him to sleep, and I don't plan to force him into self settling, letting him cry out or doing PUPD. I don't need him to sleep by himself, I just want him to sleep for longer (or have a heavier sleep).

PS: he is starting on solids, but he's been like that for months (exclusively bf until 5 months and half), so it's not the solids that are causing the problems, as the saituation was pretty much the same before.

Any ideas/advice/suggestions?

I think that he may well not sleep any longer in the evening until he learns to self settle ... at least a little bit. I speak from bitter experience!

you know about the whole sleep cycle thing? babies surface every 45-60mins and if things aren't the same as when they went to sleep they wake up fully and wonder why not. so if you rock/feed to sleep they can't get themselves through to the next sleep cycle and need you to come and help them. this was definitely the case for our DD at that age - we always rocked to sleep and she ALWAYS woke up ...

you can try all sorts of gentle ways to help him settle for sleep in his cot rather in your arms - the No Cry Sleep Solution is full of them and is very much a bible if you want to avoid PUPD or CC etc.

basically it says rock / cuddle / feed until really really drowsy (the baby, not you) and then put him in the cot, then stroke, pat, sssh, whisper reassuring words until they go to sleep. if it doesn't work first time - which it won't - pick them up and cuddle etc and try again. the idea is to start putting them in less and less asleep until they are settling themselves - but you get there without tears (or too many tears...)

good luck - you'll get loads more advice

I agree with the post above.We all drift in and our of various stages of sleep and self settling is all part of it.

My DS is 6 months and has only in the last couple of weeks started to have a longer sleep after lunch.I've no idea why,maybe because he's having protein in his lunch?!

I think your DS will probably have a longer nap after lunch as he gets older,most children do.

Valbona and Mumcah, many thanks for your comments.

I had never understood why people seem so obsessed about self settling - as I said, I don't mind rocking him to sleep - until now! I had never associated his waking up several times to the ability (or lack of) to self settle...

It makes a lot of sense, which means I'll have to work on that now.

Tonight I tried not to hold him to sleep. Just laid by his side, sang to him, shushed, tapped, etc - he spent 3 hours kicking, moving around, crawling and god knows what else before falling asleep, which included a lot of crying (by the time he was crying he was too exhausted for the rocking to have any effect). It was horrible (truth be told, yesterday was horrible as well). Eventually he fell asleep, but by then I had lost the will to live. And he woke up a couple of times after that.

Hope it gets better, and I hope it's the right thing to do.

Anyway, thanks again, as now at least I have an explanation of why he doesn't stay asleep!

And I'll buy the No Cry Sleep Solution.

I've just ordered this book schroedinger!

Am in exactly the same situation as you (see my thread!) except DD is coming up for 7 months now and nothing is improving.

I can't leave her to cry - I hate it, so I am going to have a look at this book.

I have a feeling DD isn't really eating enough either - she's not having a proper meal with protein in the evening as all she wants is milk at that time. So this is something else I'm working on atm.

Anyway - sympathy, I am in the same boat - it's grim!!

PassionKiss, hope things are better for you. I've read your thread and got some suggestions from there.
Last night was a bit easier, good luck for both of us :)