Co-sleeping in hospital - experiences?

[rodformyownback]

I've put this in the sleep topic rather than childbirth in the hope of catching more fellow co-sleepers.

We've always coslept with DS1 (at 2.10 he has his own room now and comes in to us if / when he wakes up) and I have every intention of doing so with DS2. I'm now 38.5 weeks pregnant, planning a VBAC but obviously there's a risk it could go to another section.

In addition, after DS1's birth I had a strep B infection. The hospital I'm going to has a policy of giving intravenous antibiotics during labour to anyone who has had a previous infection. I was hoping to avoid this but obviously didn't want to put DS2 at risk so I paid for a private test that was negative (this is 94% accurate whereas NHS one is only 50%ish). Saw obstetrician last week who agreed that they would not have to deliver antibiotics but she said the paediatricians would still want to monitor DS2 for 12 hours after the birth. Seems a bit OTT to me given that 1st time mums are not tested at all and their babies not routinely monitored, and about 1 in 3 of us carry strep B at any one time! I do understand it's a serious infection but I honestly think the best way to keep babies free of infection is to get out of the hospital asap!

Anyway, C section or otherwise I may have to stay overnight in hospital.

I'm worried that the staff on the postnatal ward will try make me put the baby down and I'm not relishing the idea of spending the first night of DS2's life having to justify myself and being lectured on the risks of cosleeping (I'd prefer to save my energy for the same conversation with the health visitor!)

With DS1 I was in my own room post-section and left to it - as I couldn't move my legs I had no option but to cosleep! That was a different hospital though.

Does anyone have experience of this or tips of how to handle the staff on postnatal ward if challenged about my strange sleeping habits? Would it be worth putting something in my birth plan? Help please!

I'm in a similar position (c-section first time, VBAC plus speedy discharge second time, now this time I had ONE GBS+ urine test at 10 weeks that was gone by 13 weeks but still have GBS alert stickers all over my notes, intend to have ECM swab privately at 36 weeks or so and then argue the toss) so am aware they are likely to want to keep me in (I'm not happy about that but DS will be pleased... his "so you're having a new baby sibling" books when I was pregnant with DD1 all showed the big sibling going to visit mother and baby in hospital and he was mightily hacked off that in reality I was home after a few hours without his getting a chance to visit).

I was surprised to find second time around how much easier it was to be assertive (so, for example, in spite of "hospital policy" I declined continuous foetal monitoring with no problem and no real argument from the midwives), and also when you have done things before they tend to back off more and not interfere. So I have just taken the attitude that if I am kept in this time I will be cosleeping and there's not a great deal they can do about it. If they don't like it I will be perfectly happy to discharge myself and the baby and go home instead. If you are polite yet firm ("No, I'm doing it this way") people tend to leave you alone; it's when you display signs of weakness ("Oh, I'd prefer to do X...") that they close in for the kill...

london nhs hospital, they bundled ds1 up and put him in with me my first night after emcs. With Ds2 i just did it, nobody said a word. just do it

I was in hospital with dd2 for 4 nights after she was born as she was unwell due to strep b infection. The fourth night was the first one I had her with me and she was very unsettled. The midwife marched me back to bed with her and tucked us both in together and we both had a great sleep.

Also co-slept with ds in the hospital as the painkillers I was taking made me very drowsy and I kept nodding off. A couple of times I would be vauglg aware of a midwife putting the bedside up and tucking the covers in!

I had a strep A infection when ds2 was 3 weeks old so was readmitted to the postnatal ward for several days and had ds2 with me as I was bfing him. They had a cot which they could put at the side of the bed with the side down so that we were effectively cosleeping and I could feed with minimum effort but it just gave me a bit more space. Could you ask if your hospital have any of these?

Thanks for reassuring posts.

Going your midwife sounds lovely! How awful for you to be separated from poorly baby for 3 nights. I hope you don't think I'm being flippant about strep b - if I honestly thought my baby was at risk I would bend over backwards to prevent it!

V interesting Professor that you were able to refuse CFM without a fuss. One of the reasons I was glad to avoid the antibiotics is so I won't have to go to the hospital too early and be stuck on the bed. Did you put that in your birth plan, tell the midwives what you wanted when you arrived or just take the monitor off when you felt like a walk?

Not sure why I'm getting hung up on the birth plan at this point - I can't remember what happened to my last one and I haven't started writing this one with just over a week to go!

I slept with DD in my bed in a busy London hospital - no one even noticed.

Good idea Pesha if I do get challenged! I had a sidecar at home for DS1 but he always ended up in the bed. I do remember being a bit cramped in the hospital though and it would at least be useful to have a surface right next to me to change him on, especially if I end up with another section.

rodformyownback I don't think you were being flippant at all! WIth DS I was supposed to remind the midwife to call a pead straight after he was born so that he could be assessed for GBS, I was so happy DS was born safley (had a nightmare pregnancy) that I forgot and got a real telling off from the pead when he came a few hours later to do the neonatal check! Thankfully he was fine but they gave him antibiotics until his blood results came back, was able to keep with with me though.

aviatrix I know the feeling!

Seriously, if that's the case at my hospital I wonder what they would do if you just said NO? Wrench the baby from your arms? I haven't dared ask because I'd rather stay under the radar if possible.

I stayed at home as long as I felt able (which is one of the major factors in a successful VBAC) and arrived in transition, so they wisely Did Not Cross The Hormonal Labouring Lady -- I just said a firm "No" to stuff I didn't want to do.

That's one reason I don't want the ABs this time if not necessary -- second labour was only 5 hours from first twinge to DD1's arrival, and labours tend to get faster each time, and the protocol is that ABs need to be administered at least 4 hours before birth, so it would mean sprinting into hospital to have an IV put in as soon as I felt anything that might be a contraction and then still probably not get the 4 clear hours so be no better off than if I hadn't bothered, while at the same time being in hospital from the start (and on the IV) would make the successful VBAC less likely.

If I get a GBS+ ECM test at 36-37 weeks then, yes, I'll do the sprint-into-hospital bit because it will be important, but if I get a GBS- ECM test then my chances of having active GBS at delivery are way, way lower than those of a random pregnant woman, whatever stickers they've put on my notes, and I'll be following the stay-at-home-as-long-as-possible route.

I was shouted at for co-sleeping in hospital. I ignored them :)

Sensible stuff Prof! I'll try to stay at home as long as possible. Makes me a little nervous though - we live half way between Leicester and Nottingham and it's a good 35 mins to the hospital when it's not rush hour. Our village abounds with stories of women giving birth in on the A6! Not quite what I pictured for my active birth!

I have no idea how I'll know when to go to hospital - last time I'd planned a home birth so went when the midwife told me the baby was in distress. My sister recently got sent home even though her contractions had been every 3 mins for several hours because she was only 2cm dilated. She went back in 6 hours later - and was 3cm! We both ended up having the whole "escalation of intervention" culminating in C section.

What's your advice about when to go in for VBAC Prof? I got to 6cm prior to section last time if that's relevant...

I had DS at Queen Charlotte's and had to stay in for 5 days due to him needing IV antibiotics. The lovely midwives on the birth centre had no issues with co-sleeping - in fact suggested it when my little horror kept us awake for a whole night!
My MIL was at this and went to great pains to tell me how dangerous it was - she'd read all about it in Take a Break, so was obviously the expert...!

Shouted at oh dear!!! At the moment I think I might shout back if that happened, or burst into tears! Isn't it amazing though how when you give birth you're just this sea of tranquillity afterwards - for a day or two anyway!

Yes I hear Take a Break is up there with Elizabeth Pantley as required reading for co-sleepers! (I suspect it is the local HV's bible)

I got told off for going in too late last time .

I'd had contractions lasting 30-45 seconds, starting about 10 minutes apart. Then they gradually got closer together and were coming about every 3-4 minutes but still not lasting more than about 45 seconds or getting really intense (although they did hurt) so I wasn't particularly worried and thought there was a good while to go (first labour had been 40 hours before c-section, and when I was about that stage with contraction intensity/timing then I had been about 3cm dilated). But I got DH to call his mother (about an hour away) to come to babysit DS. Then almost as soon as he'd finished the phone call they suddenly got much more intense (so I couldn't talk through them) and started to get longer, so I said (words to the effect of) "umm... I think we need to go NOW..."

They said I should have called in a couple of hours previously. I attempted to point out that a couple of hours previously my contractions had been 30 seconds long and spaced out to every 8-10 minutes and they wouldn't have been interested, but the whole "not being able to talk through contractions" thing got in the way rather...

Personally I'd probably wait for that "we need to go NOW" feeling again, but then we're only about 15 minutes away tops from the hospital unless it's rush hour. It has occurred to me that if things go much faster than last time I could end up with an unplanned homebirth, though.

Not much help on the co-sleeping as I just didn't manage to get past the midwives who kept popping in to check I hadn't fallen asleep with the baby in bed. However on the VBAC front I managed far better. Dd1 was forceps and dd2 emergency c-section. I had been told that I would have to have continual fetal monitoring with dd3 but knew that they always struggled to get a good trace so I would have had to lie still on my back and chances of vbac would be nil. When I arrived at hospital in labour I had clear and simple birth plan and told them no fetal monitoring - it's amazing how scary a woman in labour is and the midwife didn't argue with me. They did insist on putting a line in me just in case which I thought I would conceed on. The midwives were supportive and agreed to intermittent fetal monitoring I think about every 30 mins or so. Still I had 3 doctors trying to get me to have continual fetal monitoring - it was minutes before I started pushing and I was on all 4s on the bed - one came and stood right in my face mid-contraction and I was none to impressed. . Anyway, I did it, pushed my little girl out. Up and in the shower 20 mins later which was dream-like compared to the c-section recovery. I think you'll be shocked by how assertive you can be when it comes to the whole mama tiger thing and you are trying to do the best for your baby 'cub'. Best of luck

When DS was born he was awake all the time during our first night in hospital. I wailed to the midwives that he wouldn't sleep and I didn't know what to do etc etc

She tucked him up in bed with me, I wailed about whether he would be all right with me in bed, she told me of course he would and he then slept for a good few hours :)

bumping myself....

I am not a co-sleeper but co-slept with both of my girls in hospital.

DD1 didn't feed at all after her birth, and I was sick of struggling to pick her up etc on my own (looooong labour and emcs). So I popped her in my nightie top and she snuggled in there and latched in the night. Noone batted an eyelid.

With DD2, again I was too weary (another labour and emcs!) to do much else so brought her into bed with me and made a nest for her between me and the wall. I got a minor lecture from a MW in the morning who thought it was too cold on that side because of the window (it was freezing) but when I pointed out she would have fallen out of the other side of the bed (and she had me to keep her warm) they left me to it. Just as well, I fell asleep feeding her and almost dropped her the night before before I made the nest!

I think though that most hospital staff are too busy with ill people etc to bother with lecturing mothers for this. and having spent quite a lot of time in hospital in the last few years I have become strangely adept at smiling and ignoring "helpful" comments. Practice saying "I'll try that later" in a zen-style voice...

I co slept with ds2 in hospital earlier this year.

With ds1, i had an elective CS because he was breech (stuck in my bi-cornuate uterus). The first night was terrible because I had to buzz everytime I wanted to pick up ds1. I thought I wasn't "allowed" to bring him into bed even though I desperately wanted to.

So, with ds2, I just brought him into bed with me and nobody said anything. I had been all ready to argue that he was my baby and I could do what I liked, but it didn't come to that.

Anyway, I couldn't have got up and down to get him because I had a cathater (had forceps, but still managed a VBAC) and also had a broken ankle.

I wouldn't bother putting it in your birth plan. It only gives them a chance to tell you it's not allowed before you've even done it!

Good luck

I co-slept in hospital with DD, I couldn't bring myself to put her in the plastic box thing.

One HCA told me I shouldn't so I just stayed awake until she went off duty. I did feel that the MWs checked on me quite frequently through the night but no-one seemed to bother that we were co-sleeping apart from that one HCA.