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3 years, no sleep, please help!

11 replies

deedar · 11/11/2010 10:13

Well, slight exaggeration, but it definitely feels like it at the moment.

DTs are 18 months, DD 3 years; prior to their arrival she slept well with the odd week long sleep regression but generally managed 7-7 most nights. Now she's up three or four times a night, sometimes just needing to be tucked in again, sometimes inconsolable for hours. She often comes screaming into our bed, but doesn't sleep and fidgets for up to an hour or so until we take her back to her own bed. Then she'll sleep.

Meanwhile the boys will take it in turns to wake regularly from about 3am onwards. A quick cuddle works to settle them for another 30 mins, then they'll scream again (getting angrier and angrier) and eventually wont be left at all. They don't usually wake each other and alternate their own wakings, so some nights there can be as little as 10-15 mins without someone crying.

We're going mad with sleep deprivation and just need some ideas as to what to do. Do we need a sleep consultant? I know there's a major sleep regression at 18 months, but wtf is going on with DD?

OP posts:
Teaandcakeplease · 11/11/2010 10:29

Do you think she is suffering bad dreams or feeling unsettled at the moment for some reason?

My 3 yr old DD has had a lot of problems with dreams lately. She also really needs her sleep, so now she's dropped her nap I try and get her into bed for 6.30pm everynight, sometimes 6pm, as she sleeps better the more sleep she gets. I use rapid return with her and now she generally stays in bed I also gave her a night light as well.

deedar · 11/11/2010 10:36

Don't know, I do ask about it, but she hasn't ever said anything about bad dreams. Yes, she has a night light on but only one of those plug-in ones, perhaps I should get a brighter one - what sort do you use?

Can't think of anything that would have unsettled her particularly at the moment. Although she's been watching a lot of 'Babe, pig in the city'; that's kind of scary I suppose...

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Teaandcakeplease · 11/11/2010 10:46

It's just a mothercare one but it's bright enough.

We've had a lot of chats about dreams lately and all about them. My DD turned 3 at the end of July. She has definitely started to have a lot more bad dreams lately and I've had to re-think what Disney's I allow her to watch etc. She also loved this Dinosaur fact book but I've hidden it, as I felt it was aggravating her sleep. Do you think some of the waking is attention seeking? Does she get enough fuss made of her in the day?

You could do a star chart and a list of sleep rules for her? That's worth a go.

deedar · 11/11/2010 10:55

We do a star chart - 3 nights in her own bed = small present. Am yet to give her a present.

Think you might be right about the dreams, I'll start to talk to her more about them during the day to see if she can remember anything about them. She did throw 'not now bernard' across the room yesterday saying she didn't like it anymore, so she probably is scared of stuff she previously liked.

Re: attention, she definitely gets more attention than DTs during the day (poor them) but probably nowhere near as much as she'd like. So it could be partly attention seeking/needing reassurance - not sure how that makes a difference to stopping it though.

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Teaandcakeplease · 11/11/2010 10:58

No I'm not either, it just crossed my mind. I often stroke my DD's hair for a few minutes before walking out again after she lies down. It's hard isn't it?

Maybe change the star chart on how it works so the rewards are easier to get? Smile

deedar · 11/11/2010 11:30

So hard. At wits end really. DH's work starting to suffer and I'm just generally grumpy. Although perhaps I always was? So hard to remember what life with sleep was like.
[feeling sorry for self emoticon]

OP posts:
deedar · 11/11/2010 19:47

thanks for your messages btw tea, it does help to know that someone else has a similar problem!

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Teaandcakeplease · 12/11/2010 08:34

How was last night?

Orissiah · 12/11/2010 11:09

Perhaps you could try 1 night's sleep = small present or sticker as 3 nights seems an awfully long time away for a 3 year old.

deedar · 12/11/2010 19:57

Sorry, been at 3 year old parties all day, so no time to MN.

Last night was the best for months - 4 wakings, but each time they settled themselves within 5 minutes. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Feel completely refreshed.

I put them all to bed half an hour earlier than normal, and left a brighter nightlight on in DD's room. It's probably just a co-incidence but it might be something to do with earlier bedtime? Anyway, will definitely start offering rewards after each successful night as I think you're both right about 3 nights being unobtainable.

fingers crossed for tonight...

OP posts:
Teaandcakeplease · 12/11/2010 20:14

Yeah the earlier bedtime can help I find, as over tired children sleep worse I find.

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