Neighbours comments on being woken by DD

[thegauntlet]

well... We are having a bit of a time of it. We decided last Friday to start sleep training. We have persevered, not ideal just yet- but definitely better, I am now going for a stretch of about 6 hours without feeding which is new! (she isnt always asleep for this- but the maximum crying time has been 30 minutes)

In context... we live in a terrace house. our next door neighbour on one side has 3 kids and they are constantly at each others throats, we can hear violence thru the wall and have called the police once and the other side have too....we have offered lots of help but they are very hostile.

Now.... she comments that my baby is keeping her up for 'an hour' last night. Am I being unreasonable to be so upset/angry? should we stop the CC for a while? Do neighbours have any rights here?

I think that all you can do is explain what you're doing. Apologise for the noise, give her a box of chocolates, and then get on with it.

tbh, if your neighbour was more reasonable, i' m sure you could have a good chat over this and get some advice from her.

But it sounds like you might be a bit wary of her. She has all the rights you choose to give her at the moment. The Council aren't going to serve an asbo on your daughter, but I'm guessing you don't want to give her cause to complain, if only to you.

I think if you can just tell her what you're doing and make a guess at how long you think it will last (a week or two?) and hope that she takes pity on you. (I hated cc but it worked for ds1)

the only helpful suggestion i have is put her to be earlier if it is the getting-to-sleep business that is difficult.

then they would have less grounds for complaint.

to be fair, in the long run sleep training may benefit them as well as you.

thanks.
I think I am definitely going to go the route of the chocolates- might get her on side, and I think that her fella is awful so she does actually need a bit of a break. ( btw- I did warn her about it and tell it would probably be 2 weeks or so- she seemed fine then... )

really feel for you, the last thing you need when you are trying to improve the nights sleep for you and your baby. I agree re chocolates and quck chat / explanation - and then leave it at that. Don't change anything you are doing. You will have been the bigger person with your neighbour but they have absolutely no 'rights' to ask you / make you feel you should change what you are doing. If they were nice neighbours they would not have complained, just sympathised!

Good luck! x

In addition to chocs and explanation perhaps to get her even more on side you could ask her how she managed to get HER kids to sleep fine (if they do)? Get her advice so she feels involved and then less likely to complain. Or tell her the doctor told you to sleep train and that it will take a month :-)