18 month old now wakes in night and becomes hysterical

[Zone2mum]

Posted in behaviour too - before I saw this topic.
DS has recently started waking in the night and instead of settling himself as he used to, begins crying and screaming, becoming utterly hysterical if we try to put him back to bed after going in to see him. He is fine if we cuddle him, but then cries "no! no! no!" and physically resists being lowered back into his cot, and screams and cries hysterically until we pick him up again.
We have put him in our bed where he becomes chatty and playful, or sometimes dozes off but we are all suffering from lack of sleep now. Has been going on all week.
Don't think it's night terrors as he is awake. Leaving a light on or playing music or singing to console him doesn't help, nor does lying in his room alongside the cot. He just doesn't want to be in his cot if he wakes up - yet has no problem going to bed in the evenings (and has always slept well at night as a baby, apart from when ill)
We tried leaving him to settle himself, waiting a few minutes before coming in and picking him up but he really gets beside himself.
Any tips to help him settle back in his own bed are gratefully received

I hear you. I have a 17 month old who I've had to sleep with for the last 2 nights (he's been ill too) and it's SO exhausting, I am definitely not a Family Bed Mum!! Tonight is the first night for a few days he's gone down happily(ish) and I'm hoping it lasts all night.

With mine, I know that the more I go in and see him, the worse it gets. It might sound a bit tough but I know mine is so much happier when he has a good nights sleep - we all are! So this is what I do when he's not poorly - leave for 5 mins in case he can settle back, if not, then go in and pat on the back/tummy and shhhh him, tell him it's sleep time - we get the "no no no" if we pick him up too and he literally clings on like a koala and you can't get rid of him at all! Be as boring as possible and try and stay in for less than a minute. Then I leave him for another 5 mins and if he's still going crazy then I give him some calpol incase it's teething or something. (Which I think is due at this age - the back molars?) You could do this on the first visit actually just so you know it's done. Then I do the old leave-for-five-mins and back in for another pat and shush for as long as it takes! I don't leave mine for more than 10 mins on his own when he's awake - usually I go in every 5 mins as that's all we can hack in our house.

The other thing is, when does he nap in the day? And for how long? Maybe that needs to be moved or trimmed in order to get the nights back?

Thanks - good to know I am not alone in this!

He tends to nap for an hour and a half to 2 hours in the day (2 hours when at home - less when at nursery). So I don't think it's that he is sleeping too much. I am wondering if it is the aftermath of staying up too late and being overexcited by Halloween and the fireworks display he saw on Friday (which he loved) but perhaps the sleep disturbance then caused him to go off-kilter, plus the previous week's time change? Not sure if he is teething, but will bear in mind.

Last night was ok, thankfully, but if it happens again will try your advice. He too clings like a koala when we pick him up so perhaps reassuring him briefly without actually picking him up and waiting to go in will help. Fingers crossed. He is such a sweetheart and was as visibly exhausted as we both were by all this...

Thanks again

No worries, was good for me too to know that I wasn't alone in being a koala-mum for a few days. He did it again today at nap-time and I made myself a cup of tea, telling myself that if he was still crying when the tea was made, I'd go up to him. He wasn't and I'm really glad I did that now - I need tactics to handle myself as well as him when we go through difficult patches as it's so hard isn't it!

You're right about the changes in routine though, I SWEAR by routine, and anything can knock them off kilter which is why I'm always a right kill-joy when people want to go for lunch or something, I'm just like, "no way, he sleeps at one" - it's just not worth the hassle!! They neeeed their sleep and so if you can get him back on track quickly, you're doing all of you a favour, especially him. Like you say, they are SO much happier when they are rested. (As are we!!!)

wish someone had an answer for this one. my DD been doing this for 6 months now.

No help to foxy, but there's a very common sleep regression around 18 months.

More info here and here and here.

Are you sure he is awake and it is not night terrors? We were absolutely sure that Ds was awake and inconsolable until he really woke up.........

Pretty sure he's awake as he was asking for calpol, then more calpol, book, and stops crying when I pick him up or pat/ hug him while he's in the cot. But will read up on night terrors and sleep regression. Have been up for over an hour tryig to calm him. He seems to be calming now (as in howling becoming intermittent) but it is so painful hearing him howl like that without knowing why. He just refuses to loebdown or even sit in his cot... Though fingerscrossed he is going to be ok now.

You must be tired. Did he settle?

Thankfully yes, by about quarter past 4, and was absolutely fine this morning. He had a very red cheek during the night so suspect it's teething related, had given calpol but still took lots of comforting and intermittent howling before he finally decided to lie down and go back to sleep. I guess he was wondering why he wasn't being taken to our bed but I just really want to break that cycle as none of us sleep well when he's in our bed.

You did the right thing. Well done for hanging on in there!