3 week old with colic won't stop screaming, not hungry, not wet/dirty, does'nt stop when held please help!

[Shhhdonttell]

Please can somebody offer any advice on how I can get my 3 week old DD to stop crying and go to sleep?

She is fine during the day but as soon as 8-9pm hits she starts screaming uncontrolably and and will not settle, we have tried feeding/changing/swaddling/shhhing/cuddling/laying her on one of my tops/patting/swinging/walking/winding and just about every other method of soothing we can think of and she is still screaming. Then if I do manage to get her to sleep as soon as I put her down it starts all over again. Sometimes this lasts for up to 5 hours!

She has been like this for the last week or so and nothing we do seems to help. I am not trying to enforce a routine, I am EBF on demand and just doing everything I can to try and comfort her but nothing works and then I end up crying!! We don't think this is colic because she doesn't pull her legs up

Please does anybody have a miracle for me?!

Could she be overtired? Is she managing daytime sleep ok? And have you had any advice from your HV about this?

Have you tried colic remedies like colocynth granules or infacol? Worth a shot!

also have you considered reflux?

Other than that try white noise, try a dummy i you like?

i too would say over tired
try wrapping?

We used to put DS in a sling and put the lights out in the kitchen but run the fan on the cooker hood on max. The darkness and noise, coupled with the rocking motion of me walking briskly round my kitchen (!) would settle him but it took ages. When they're overtired you need to spend twice as long as you expect to spend on settling them.

Got to go, my 7wk old is overtired and DP's getting a sore shoulder ...!

Thanks for the replies, BollocksToThis yes she sleeps fine during the day, I spoke to my HV at the beginning of the week but she just told me to 'see how it goes for the moment' and I am not due to see her until Wednesday now.

TheUnmentioned we are giving her Infacol but have only been doing so for a couple of days and I have been told it takes up to a week to get into her system and make any difference. She won't take a dummy and have tried the white noise/music/heartbeat sounds and to no avail.

I will look up Reflux and see it that rings any bells.

And as someone has mentioned reflux, consider if it may be 'silent reflux'.

I have looked at the symptoms of Reflux and from what I can see it doesn't sound likely, she is not sick regularly (once or twice a day she might spit up a mouthful of milk), although she does get the hiccups but she doesn't cry after feeds, she just starts screaming in the evenings. butterflymum what is silent reflux?

Shhdonttell I feel your pain!

My ds did the same thing, only he started at 7pm and went til 9-9:30. He started on his 20th day and the doc at emergency (because he'd screamed more in one night than in the previous 20 days put together) instantly diagnosed it as colic.

As I understood it, this is now used to refer to some babies (often quite sensitive) who are struggling to process all the day's stimulus - and the shocking fact that they are no longer in the womb! He did it for three months solid.

FWIW, I sang/rocked/held him through it every night. (In retrospect I should have shared more with dh!) In truth, though, it didn't matter what I did. I honestly believe he just had to get it out of his system, and the only thing I could do was let him know he wasn't abandoned.

Then at 12 weeks, like flipping a switch: One night he cried an hour, the next night he cried ten minutes, and then it was all over.

hope that helps a little.

Sorry I don't have time to read all posts or share more of our experience atm but if there's anything you want to ask I'll try to come back next time I get near a pc.

Shhhdonttell Huge sympathies.

My DD1 didn't sleep at all at night for several weeks.

When you say you have tried patting, how hard have you been patting? I was absolutely horrified to learn that the only comfort to DD1 was very firm rhythmic patting, almost like the beat of a drum. To be honest, it felt like child abuse (I don't say that lightly), but when I smacked her ('pat' sounds too gentle) with an open hand on the middle of her back, she would visibly relax, and droop over my hands. She was exhausted. As soon as I stopped, or moved to 'patting' her back would arch and off she went again.

I also used to sing, one song with made up lyrics, just to get through the hours.

The other thing we did, was arrange that DH slept downstairs, and I would deal with DD1 from 10pm-5am. Then I would take her down to DH, so that I could have a couple of hours sleep before he left for work.

When she started to settle at about 4am (week 6) I would take her down at 4am.

Then she gradually settled at 3am, 2am, and 1am. At around 12 weeks, she 'flipped' and started to settle at 7pm, which was amazing. She would wake 5 or 6 times a night, but I had some precious recuperation time in the evening.

You poor, poor thing.

We had this with ds2, in our case it was silent reflux, but not saying that is the case for you. I think if it was day and night it would be more likely, but anyway, not why I posted as you have already considered this as a possibility.

It is HELL, it really is, to see you loved wee one in pain/distress.

SOme wee ones just find being alive hard going ionthe early weeks - a terrible shock to their little systems. Having to eat, pass water/poo, try to regulate their temperature, cope with all the changes in light, noise, etc.

I'm sure you've tried everything, but white noise helped ds2 when he was distressed (radio static), as did the sling and motion.

He will stop. Try to rule out any medical reason and then just keep doing what you are doing - comforting him. He will be reassured by your presence even if it doesn't seem like it! And get a stand in every so often as it is very draining. A good pal or relative to take her for a while. You can get your head down or have a bath or whatever.

Take care of yourself. It will pass, and fairy soon. It is hard and frustrating and difficult to understand.

I taped ( old gimmer emoticon ) the very noisy Dyson for GS . We now have 30 mins of noise that he loves. Just enough time for a quiet cuppa.

i empathise...dd was like this.

try:

take out caffeine from your diet
Reduce the amount of milk you are drinking

put baby in pram, wrap up warm, walk out and about - down to the local high street, and let baby bellow. It will seem less demoralising to be out, you will get some exercise and fresh air, baby will be out in the dark in a rocking pram and may settle quicker.

ALso try and see if any friends could do the above for a couple of hours - just having time out from the screaming so you have time for a cuppa and a hot meal will do wonders.

Above all, remind yourself that this is just a phase, it will all stop at around 3 months.

My DS was like this at 3 weeks (he's now 6 weeks).Doc said colic, of course. I think overtiredness was a big part of it but if your DD sleeps well during the day this sounds unlikely.

As soon as he was 4 weeks we started giving him gripe water, which helped settle his tummy (he loves the taste of it and we sometimes dip a dummy in it to get him to take it). The doc also showed us a hold for him where you hoist him up so his tummy is nearly over your shoulder and jiggle. This seemed to calm him. DH used to lay him over his knees and move knees side to side.

Know you've tried white noise, but for us it had to be quite loud to have any effect. Apparently the sound they hear in the womb is as loud as a vacuum cleaner.

In the end we took him to a cranial osteopath and this seems to have helped a lot. Don't know what your delivery was like but mine was a v quick and intense induction ending in ventouse, which may have squished his head a little. He now cries far less in the evenings now, and generally, though he has his moments (he is being a bit bonkers today :) )

Other thing it could be is a growth spurt ... Sometimes the only thing that helped was to feed him into oblivion.

Hope things improve soon; it is awful and I really sympathise.

Forgot to ask re dummies: have you tried a few different types/brands? DS would spit out the Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature ones but will take the Avent ones, though we do have to hold it in for him. I was very anti-dummy but TBH anything that gets you and your DC through those long nights is worth a try. I think sucking releases the baby's natural painkilling hormones, which makes me feel better about it; I don't want to shove a dummy in his mouth to 'shut him up' but I do find it calms him sometimes if I lay him in my lap and hold the dummy in his mouth for him. He has drifted off to sleep a couple of times like that.

On the worst nights we used to just drive him round the block!!

Hi all, sorry for the late reply, last night was really tough, usually she settles after her 11pm feed and goes through the night waking only to eat but last night she would not go back down after waking and so far today she hasn't slept for more than 30 mins at a time (although she is asleep at the moment and looks quite peaceful).

Lougle I am patting quite firmly, I will try a little harder, it does seem to help for a while at least.

CountBapula I have tried a few brands of dummy but I will keep trying, I am not a dummy snob and anything that calms her down enough to take a breath can't be a bad thing in my books! With regards to my delivery it was an EMCS with forceps after a miserable failed induction (along with 10 attempts to get an epidural in) so I think we might both be a little traumatised from the birth tbh!

I am going to give my HV a call and see what she suggests because I can't tell if its colic or reflux because her symptoms are so mixed at different times of the day :(

3 months seems like such a long way away!

Thanks to everyone for all your helpful advice, its just nice to know I am not the first or the only one going through this! I love my DD so much and not being able to comfort her makes me feel like such a failure! I am off to make a cuppa before she wakes up again... Tip toes to kitchen...

I am really sorry shhhhhh I don't have any definitive answers but this link has some ideas on why some babies are more fussy in the evenings:

Like one of the PP, My first DD was like you describe so I know how hard it is. I also remember being very un-comforted by the notion that it would all pass by 3 months. I couldn't see how I would get through until then and I suspect you probably feel the same? If so, you are not alone.

I wonder whether your DD could be having a growth spurt just at the moment which could be compounding things and account for your awful night last night. I believe it is common for babies to have one around the 3 week mark.

Hope things improve for you soon.

Oh dear, it would help if I put the link in

link from kellymom

How are things tonight, Shhh?

i can highly recommend dr harvey karp's book "the happiest baby on the block"
it not only explained to me WHY my baby was so bloody miserable the whole time, but gave some good tips which did help a bit.
knowing why he was doing it helped a lot tho and i became more patient with him

is there anything at all that helps? have you tried white noise? having her in a sling? does it help if your other half takes her for a bit?

My daughter is 6 wks +6days and 3 wks ago I was in your situation, I tried everything you have done but she would scream from 6pm till gone 11pm at night and no matter what I did I could not settle her. I would often cry and think that it was my fault in some way. It was a nightmare to get that 6pm bottle down her with out her screaming and she was really windy from both ends.

I visted the GP who prescribed colief this did help a little. She is much better now than she was and the screaming fits last a lot shorter so I'm hoping that the colic will go for good :)

Second recommendation for Harvey Karp. Google him and view the two videos listed for an immediate overview of his ideas and techniques. I tried them out at 3am one morning and it worked first time.

If it works for you then there are the usual DVD and book available for further info and his website

Ds started at 3 days with colic (yes, I know that's very early) - by the time he was about 3/ 4 wks we had to take it in turns on a shift basis in the evenings - I went to bed at 8pm, leaving dh with ds (who would have started screaming at 7pm) - he woke me at 12 / 1am and I took over - ds would stop at about 4 or 5am.

Infacol didn't do much.

Colief did help - although it was a faff as I was bf - but we persisted.

However, the thing that sorted him out was cranial osteopathy. After the third treatment it was like a switch being flicked - no gradual cessation of the screaming - it just stopped.

Have nothing to add in terms of advice but wanted to say that I had the same with DC1. Screamed all night every night for six weeks. It was the most soul destroyingly awful time in my life. You have my sympathy. It did pass - I think she just grew out of it though we did use infacol - and she quickly became, and still is, a very good sleeper. It is very very hard at the time. Hope it passes soon.

my dd did this for approx 12 hours everyday up until she was 7wks old. It usually started at around midday until midnight. We put it down to colic but not sure if this was the cause. I do sympathise with you as it is so emotionally and physically exhausting. We tried everything from rocking, singing (which worked a little), infacol, colief but nothing had any significant impact. She did suddenly stop and has slept well ever since and she is nearly 10 months now. Looking back at it now it could of just been overtiredness as she hardly slept in the day.
I know it seems a lifetime right now but keep going and i promise it does improve.

excuse no caps - holding baby.

i have a 9 wk old DD and from 4 - 7 weeks had a screaming problem in the evenings, sometimes for hours, that we, and others, assumed was 'colic'. it was exhausting.

After trying various things, the penny dropped that, yes, she was simply overtired. she just wasnt good at all at settling into naps, and had to be 'forced'. my ds was never like this so altho it sounbds obvious, i didnt pick up on it.

i bought a wrap sling to wear in the day, which works fantastically if she is put into it, with a dummy, after an hour to 90 mins awake - any longer and we head towards grizzly land. honestly, once i realised that dd simply cannot stay awake for v long without then getting into a horrendous state, life has improved imeasureably. still have night time sleep issues, but the crying is sorted totally.

i do wonder if this is what colic is in some - not all - cases, just an over tired baby that has got to the point of hysteria because it lacks the ability to sleep when in needs it.

if she has hit screaming point - only happened twice in last 3 wks, she goes in the sling crying and does calm down. even if it takes 10 mins of walking up and down stairs. i swear by this magic piece of cloth!

hope this helps