When did your LO's settle themselves to sleep?

[MuddlingThru]

With GF and Baby Whisperer being adamant about putting babies down to sleep whilst they are still awake and letting them settle themselves independently, I am starting to beat myself up about the fact that my DS (3 months) doesn't yet do so. My instinct tells me that some babies probably are quite happy to do so from the start and others need help getting to sleep for a lot longer. I would just be interested (reassured?) to hear from other Mums as to what their experience has been for when their LOs took themselves off to the land of nod without being rocked/cuddled/fed/etc.

Muddling, I'm afraid I've got one of those babies who settles himself to sleep, has done so for about two weeks for now (he is six weeks) - but that's because he has now found his thumb and sucks it so can comfort himself.

Don't beat yourself up about it, I'm sure your experience is more common than mine, and three months is still very young .

What happens if you put him down for a daytime nap still awake? Does he cry for a really long time? I think that during the day it's easier to experiment because it's not the end of the world if you have to go back to him several times, it's not eating into your sleep.

I'm sure someone will have come up with better advice since I started typing this...

OK maybe not, but I'm sure they will.....

Mine didn't at that age, and I didn't even try. She does now - at 20 months. Just do what you feel is right for you.

3 months??

it may be a while yet!

We have 2 bears that sleep in the cot with dd. I make a big fuss of the fact that they are saying goodnight to her and then I leave the room. She then chatters to them for a bit - sounded a bit like soft crying to start with but I soon realised that she was like us when we go to bed - they need to get their position and with dd she has a little chat with the bears and then falls asleep.

Is your lo sleeping in his own room? Friend of mines lo used to take ages to settle but as soon as in his own room used to chatter and fuss for about 5 minutes and then that was that.

I agree with you that each baby would have his/her own way of doing things - after all dont we adults all sleep and go to bed differently eg read before bed, drink before bed, fidgit for 1/2 hour before bed etc. Can only suggest to try a few different things until you find one he likes. HTH & Good Luck

just started at 13.5 months!

Hi,

Mine is also 3 months and not often able to get himself to sleep. Despite the odd tale amongst my friends of babies settling themselves to sleep (and sleeping through the night, wouldn't I love this) I also suspect that many don't and need a little help. Not sure if this helps (and I'd love to hear of any tactics for getting them to sleep on their own) but maybe other similar experiences are reassuring. Think the idea of testing tactics on them during the day is a good one. Suspect that putting them down at night is harder as they seem to resist sleep more then.

Agree with hpsaucey - I used to try different methods, toys, blankets etc on my dd for her day time sleep and so I knew what to use at night. Also used this when we moved her from our room to her own room. Put her in her own room during the day time.

I found that when she cries during the night/evening if I go to her and she spots me she fully wakes up and takes longer to settle back. Wheras if I just keep out of sight to check she is ok she will settle herself quicker.

hi i dont know if this is any help at all but my ds was just the same untill we changed his bedtime routine. it used to be bath, bottle, cuddle to sleep and then put him in his crib but now it bottle, bath and straight to bed will all the lights out. we hear him gurggling fir 10mins and then he drops off. it might be worth a try.

during the day is a different matter tho but i have just found out today that he will fall asleep if he is on his side, he is still laid on me bed but atleast he isnt in my arms.

sorry if it isnt much help, but i may be worth a try.

muddlingthru
after having 2 and my "naive" experience, i really feel that the baby who settles themselves tosleep is ready to go to sleep.
my dd settled at 8/9mths
my ds about 8wks
andhe was sooner because he naturally fell into into dd's daytime routine and had her entertaing him or to engage him and come 7/8pm just settled quietly.
now there were nights he certainly didnt but for the most part, after a busy afternoon he was ready for sleep.

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My DD1 never settled herself to sleep until she was about 18 months old and then she was drinking bottle upon bottle of water all throught the night because we had swapped my boob for a bottle of water and then that was what she used to get back to sleep (nightmare)
DD2 on the other hand settles herself to sleep about 50 % of the time at the mo and she is 5 and 1/2 months.........big difference is that she sucked her thumb from about 3 months, I beleive that is the whole reason she can settle herself when perfectly clean, dry, happy, painfree, not hungry and tired lol

having said that tomight I just had to rock her to sleep but she has a real snuffly nose and she couldn't suck her thumb casue she couldn't breath through her nose so not surprising!!!!

Muddlingthru, if you read my thread breastfeeding to sleep, you will see me beating myself up over the same thing! My 5 1/2 mth old ds will only go to sleep in the day if he is being rocked in his pram or breastfed; at night it sometimes takes a few rounds of bf to sleep and then at every subsequent night-waking (usually 3 or 4). I felt bad about this because I felt it was somehow a reflection on my parenting skills, but I think I now realise that as much as I would love him to settle himself, that is just the way he his and I expect that he will need to be bf to sleep for a while yet.. It doesn't stop it being tough though and has so many implications for the rest of your life. I haven't had a full night's sleep since I was pg, I can't really think about having a night out and it can stop you socialising because you don't want other people to think you can't settle your babe.. I have been encouraged by numerous posts on my thread that eventually it does get better, so fingers crossed for all of us! Good luck

Very of those whose babies do go down awake and take themselves off after a few minutes of chattering. Whenever I have tried this he generally screams straight away. On the odd occasion he did chatter, the chattering has turned to moaning which then escalated to crying.

I do think we are gradually inching forwards towards him being able to sort himself out. He is going down in his cot (in his own room) slightly more awake and takes less time to settle - at least during the day. However he seems to be waking more at night at the mo tho, grrr!

I am trying some of the ideas already mentioned like a toy/blanket to associate with sleep but he is a bit little to really recognise it yet let alone hold it himself - I am sure in time that will fall into place though.

Have read the 'breastfeeding to sleep' thread. Unfortunately bf didn't work out for us so I do miss the fact that at least at night I used to be able to bring him to bed, pop him to the breast so that both of us could drift off to sleep.

goog luck muddlin thru

my 18 month old won't settle himself. he just wants me to stand there in the room. it's drining me crazy. i just don't know wat to do either .