Help please! Now officially desperate.

[fifitot]

I have been kidding myself that for the last week and a half my 4m old's sleep patterns are a quick blip.....I know now they aren't.

I know there is sleep regression at 4m but don't know what to do! Have read the big thread on this below but wondered if people could post any ideas on how to get LO to sleep tonight. As it is a weekend me and DH are going to try and address our problem consistently. Just now sure how to do it.

Essentially DS (now 16wks) from around 3 weeks old was sleeping well ish. Is BF so fed at 10pm, 2am and 5am and after a quick feed right back to sleep in his cot.

However he is now waking up every 2 hours. He will feed, fall back asleep but as soon as he is back in his cot he will scream the place down. He will not settle and we have had almost 2 weeks of hell.

He can't be hungry as he just has a nibble. He is not too hot or cold as weather is mild and has the right grobag on. Is he teething? No sign of a tooth and it's a bit early. He is not ill, fine during the day and naps well (albeit in his pram). Not wind as even after winding him he continues to cry.

I know he is too young for cc and also that pick up put down method. Have tried just patting him in his cot but he gets even madder. Tried rocking him but he seems really alert and just stares at us! Of course at 7am when we all have to get up he is having a lovely long sleep.

Should I try and get him to nap in his cot as a starting point. Was thinking of that today. I can't schedule all his naps as have to do a school run twice a day but currently he has a nap in the morning of about an hour, an hour to hour and a half from around 12 and unfortunately likes to nap from around 4 which is probably a bit late as we put him to bed at 7.30.

I have read so much stuff my head will burst so some straightforward ideas of how to tackle this head on would be most welcom.

I can't cosleep though - just not comfortable with it due to lack of space, scared of quilt ending up on baby and largish DH. So that's a no no.

Sorry if I am going on too much but really don't know where to turn. We have no relatives here who can help us out so we can get rest during the day. Also have a demanding DD who is up at 6.30am every day but that's another story!

Has anyone used a sleep consultant? Is it worth it?

Any suggestions at all?

Oh well - posting anyway as it makes me feel better.

Spent 2 hours just now getting DS to sleep in his cot with just a feed and then patting him to sleep. He really cried and was miserable but I didn't leave him and now he's gone off. Will see if that helps or not.

Hi, you have my sympathy, we are not sleeping great at the moment either.
Anyway, I don't think you can do much during a sleep regression and the 4 month one can be really hard. I doubt any sleep training now will work. I would just do whatever you can to maximise sleep - feeding, rocking, co sleeping. It won't last.
And then there will be the 8 month sleep regression from which my DS (15 months old) doesn't seem to have recovered ;)

Great.....How long does this sleep regression last then? I don't remember it for my DD.

Hello fifi. Not sure I have much by way of solutions but didn't want your post to go unanswered.

Re sleep consultants: We used the Millpond Sleep Clinic when DD1 was 7 months old and they were great. It was as much about feeling that we had a plan as anything else, really - avoiding that awful sense of not knowing what to do in the middle of the night and being hopelessly inconsistent because of it. I don't know how much they'd be able to do for a baby under 6 months, but ti might be worth a shot.

It sounds like you're doing a great job. 3 naps a day is what the sleep clinic people would reccommend at this age. I don't think the late nap is necessarily too late - my rule at this age was not to let DD1 sleep beyond 5 for a bedtime of 7. But it depends on the baby, of course.

I do think you might be making your life unnecessarily difficult by attempting naps in the cot. Even the strict sleep clinic people acknowledged that this is the hardest bit of any sleep training regime. They always go for sorting night sleep before tackling naps.

Although a week and a half feels like forever on no sleep, try to remember that this is most probably just a phase and not a permanent pattern. I also read everything in the world and try to find reasons and solutions, but I suspect that 90% of the time my question of the day can be answered with "Because she's a BABY (or toddler)".

Sorry I can't help you, I have a nearly 4 year old that wakes up 3 times a night and a one year old that has been up since 3am.

I have another DC who sleeps. I am currently at uni and work evenings. I go through life like a zobmbie and my main tip is to drink lots of wine.

I co-slept with mine and got the best nights sleep that way. We still mostly co-sleep now TBH.

Thankyou all for your posts.

Existentialist - I nearly cried when I read your post. It really makes perfect sense what you say.

Sleep training for an under 6 months IS probably just a waste of time and am hoping it is just a phase. I am really inconsistent in my approach, I just feel like I needed a plan as am bumbling about trying everything and anything! Sounds like I may just have to continue this way - sigh.

suwoo - yes am finding wine is a good crutch as is strong coffee and chocolate!

I feel so desperate during the early hours but once the day starts, as long as I don't sit down for very long(!) I can usually keep going. If I knew when the nightmare would end it would make it so much easier though.

Very pleased if I made sense, as I'm getting by on very little sleep myself!

Another thought: Have you read Elizabeth Pantley's no-cry sleep solution? It's a collection of all sorts of ideas to help with sleep and you can pick and choose what you're comfortable with to make your own individual plan. It might at least give you the feeling of approaching things systematically!

Hang on in there...

Yes I had NCSS with DD1 but gave it away when she was a toddler and bought the toddler version instead! May have to buy it again as can't remember very much about it now.

Just a thought, but could it be reflux? It would fit the pattern of a screaming pain like cry when lying flat, particularly just after feeding.

If so you could try angling the cot so his head is up a bit (use telephone directories or books or something under the mattress or under the legs). You can also get prescriptions from the GP to help - domperidone to help keep the muscle at the top of the stomach closed, and antacids like gaviscon. Babies can go through a refluxy stage as they grow, it's common amongst premature babies but not sure how common it is in the general population.

hugs

Thanks Michaela. He does have a bit of relux but seems to cope with it quite well.

I am starting to think teeth may be more of an issue than I thought. Is only 4 months so it is early but he is drooling, biting anything, including my shoulder and has his hand in his mouth. There is a bit of a sign of a tooth at the top - which doesn't fit with the order they come in though. Will have to see.

Praying for a more settled night. Thankyou for your posts ladies.