Stopping night feeds?

[Zeeky]

I know this has probably been done to death but I am too tired/lazy to do a search!

DS2 is 6mths old and has been on solids for a few weeks & now on 3 meals a day. As a result he has dropped his milk intake considerably - now only really having 3 daytime breastfeeds. He was sleeping through from 10pm to 6.30am most nights until he got to 4 mths & started waking randomly through the night. Each time he wakes I breastfeed him as thought it was hunger & it's the quickest/easiest way to settle back down. We then started him on solids, but he is still waking.

On a good night he wakes at anytime between 10 and 1 for a feed & then again between 2 and 4 depending on when the first wake up was. On a bad night he wakes every couple of hours.

Should I just stop feeding him in the night? On the times I've tried to settle him without feeding as it's only been a couple of hrs since last feed, he just won't settle, so after an hour of being up and down and picking him up, patting etc I end up feeding hi as i know it will settle him!

What does everyone else do/think? He's a big lad (75tg centile since birth) but should be able to get through the night shouldn't he. DS1 was a much worse sleeper until suddenly sleeping 12hrs a night every night from 14mths.

I'm not sure size has much to do with it. The amount of food he takes in will be related to how much he needs.

It might be teething or a developmental leap making him wake up, hence feeding to sleep for comfort.

Can your DH resettle instead? It's harder for BF mums to do it as they expect boob!

Also at that age my DS was still having 5 feeds a day. There's a risk he could be filling up on lower calorie solids so gets hungry at night?

Thanks for your reply igglybuff. That's my worry too that he's not getting enough calories in the daytime. I've tried bf'ing more in the daytime but by the time I fit in around naps, it was encroaching on mealtimes & then wouldn't eat much solids - a vicious circle!

DH will try to settle him in the night which will work occassionally but quite often only works for a short time before the screaming resumes & I end up feeding him.

Is controlled crying or one of the similar techniques the only answer? Got a 3 yr old too, so always worry that the crying disturbs him at night.

We weaned dd off night feeds once we were sure she was getting enough food in the day. She was 7 months and having three meals and four breast feeds a day. Then having dream feed, a feed any time between 1am and 3am, then occasionally another one before morning (groan).

DP would go in with a beaker of water and offer it. Then we did pick up/put down (are you familiar with this technique? It doesn't involve leaving them to cry which was a plus for us).

I think the key is being consistent and persevering. We saw it through- she was up for 70 mins the first night, 50 mins the next, and the third night she slept through. A week or so later she dropped dream feed. She hasn't slept through every night since- but generally does at least 9-11 hour stretches. And I don't feed her at night.

We did feel like giving up, esp during the first night, but were determined to see it through. We saw it as a project.

But to be able to persevere, you have to be sure they're not hungry. It's a tricky one. Is he feeding properly at night? One of the key signs for me was that dd was hardly feeding during night feeds, and was not interested in her morning feed.

Zeeky, your problem sounds just like mine: DD is 6 months, on 3 solid meals a day plus mid-morning and mid-afternoon BFs. She also has BF on waking and between bath and books in the evening. I'm certain she must be full - recently she's been coming off the boob far quicker which tells me she's still full from her tea (one of my other issues is knowing how much 'proper' food to give).

She generally goes to sleep at 7ish but is very likely to wake soon afterwards (i.e. within the hour). She then wakes at around 10ish and I'm lucky if I can get her to settle in her cot again even after a feed. For the last month or so we have ended up co-sleeping from about 10 or 12 o'clock because she is so frequently awake and demanding boob. We're in a bit of a vicious circle now because all she wants is to be in our bed so she can feed at her leisure. Very helpful DH just says "give up breast feeding, that'll do it". DH won't settle her at night so I feel a bit stuck. I've heard that once a baby is sleep trained they tend to sleep through better; at the moment I don't have the energy/self-discipline to sleep train, but I have a feeling it's going to be the only answer.

Sorry; not in the slightest bit helpful. I was just pleased to see I'm not the only one :)

Another unhelpful yet sympathetic post here I'm afraid. I also have an unwilling DH so whatever we try will be down to me alone - I think it's going to have to be PU/PD for us, although I'm just not sure I have the stamina - especially in the middle of the night when it's so much easier to feed him - on a bad night we're up hourly, so I know that in the long run it'll be worth it.

I haven't got anything helpful to say - sorry - but came on here looking for similar advice to you Zeeky. My 25 week old DD is still just bf, and I was going to start weaning in the next couple of weeks. I have persevered with bedtimes, believing this to be the priority, and put her down awake and she is settling herself several nights per week. I too have a 3-yr-old as well, so have been fitting her round him a bit, and don't want to disturb him, or any of our neighbours (we're in flats, conversion job rather than purpose built... and we like all our neighbours and want to keep it that way).

We have a bedside cot, but from the outset I kept her in bed with us so I could feed her while I was half-asleep. She has been feeding every 1-2 hrs during the night for the last couple of months. I have got her back in the bedside cot, and my next move was to try and soothe her back to sleep without bf. She gets so upset though that I have been quickly putting her on my breast and now am wondering whether to wait and tackle this in a few weeks when she is hopefully having some solids. I guess the downside is more weeks when this habit gets even more entrenched and I get wearier... and my experience of my DS was that solids didn't make much difference.

Anyway I will watch this thread with interest.

I agree whenwillisleep... solids doesn't seem to have made much difference in our case.

Are you all thinking the frequent feeding now is a growth spurt and therefore will pass, or is it new behaviour? I too don't want to start reinforcing new habits - we have enough trouble as it is!

Hi Zeeky! I read your OP and thought..."did I write this?" ...I came on to see if I could get any advice about my DD too. The only difference is that my DD is only wakening once between 2 and 5am - I know I can't complain much about this but interested to hear what others say about "sleep training" etc at this age...

Oh and when my DH does try to settle our DD either with cuddles, shhhhing, patting or with water, she screams so I I wonder if she really is hungry as when I feed her she is happy again and goes back to sleep no bother

Think I am going to try the offering water from a cup when wakes at 4ish, as at the moment I am feeding him then and then he's not hungry for milk in the morning! We had a hellish night on Monday with him grizzling most of the night. Feeding didn't settle jim & cc didn't work either. I eventually had to rock him to sleep. We think it was constipation. When he reverted to waking twice last night for quick feeds, it felt like bliss!!

Meant to say hi to you haverina - catch you on our post natal thread.

Sorry to be unhelpful, but just wanted to join you all with a big phew to myself... I could have written all of the above... a 6 month old who from 4 months has woken very frequently only wanting the boob, gets hysterical if I try anything else, weaning not made any difference (in fact, think the wind she's getting has woken her morE) end up feeding (or she just sort of suck sucks a bit) her as I know it's a quick fix, then she's not hungry for morning feed. HV today told me cc is the only option if I want sleep, but there MUST be another way.

Am going to try the water tonight, wil elt you know how I go. By the way, is there a reason to offer it from a beaker rather than bottle in the night?

Look forward to hearing how you all go

Hi colwen - only reason I'm going to offer water from cup is cos DS won't take a bottle!

Spoke to hv just now as was getting ds weighed. She said to carry on night feeding until he's 8 or 9 months and on 3 good meals plus snacks a day in order to fully rule out the hunger in the night issue! All hv's seem to say different things!