I am so tired I think I have started hallucinating.

[nickytwotimes]

Seriously, it is BAD.

Ds2, reflux for first 4 mths, uch better now but a bloody awful sleeper.

I basically doze on and off throught the night with him in my arms much of the time.

He's 5 mths and I have really hit a wall today. I am struggling to function on such little sleep.

What the hell can I do?

I feel seriously unhinged today - panicky in my belly feeling.

I take it you do not have someone else to give you a break and take the baby out for a few hours?

Failing that, I would lie in bed with the baby and doze while it feeds/ squawks etc

If baby is screaming, take it out and get yourself a coffee and a large piece of cake. Eat and drink. Try not to lie down on the pavement and go to sleep.

I've been there, I really have, and it will get better but for now, you just have to get through it.

Do you have someone else who can settle him in the night for you?

This worked for me because DD3 had reflux and terrible sleep but I couldn't physically get up for her after 8 months. So DP did. And it helped her to settle.

Lol at pavement - it's a close thing, ti really is.

My Mum already takes ds 1 so I can supposedly sleep on the odd occassion he does in the day...usually whil I am walking him inthe pram.

my in laws are nearby too but don't understaand how bad things are for us and are always too busy bowling.

Thanks for replying

God, no, nighttimes are mine.

Dh would try, he would, but it is not worth listening to him moan next day. And ds is so unsettled I don't want to change things and make him even worse, iyswim?

No wonder you are knackered then. You need to ask for help. Someone needs to take the baby out for you with Ds1 so you can catch up. Otherwise you will be ill.

As to night times - you might be surprised at how well your DH copes in settling the baby even if he screams a bit at first (the baby not your DH)

Sleep deprivation is serious and you must let your family know you are struggling.

thank you.

my mum is fab and totally gets it.

my in laws merely make unwanted syggestions and do fuck all to help.

I think you may turn another corner soon with the reflux

With my DS, when he got more upright and was sitting there was a big improvement

Have you attempted not have your ds in bed with you?

Oh and WRT to the sleep your DH needs to help

You are having the cumulative effects of NO sleep for 5 months ... He, I assume, has not

And it is the relentless lack of sleep which does you in

Your dH can catch up - you cant

oh, do you think, ruby?

that would be fab if he had another improvement.

yes, i know i need to get dh up...

haven't tried him in a cot yet. haven't got it yet!

Hi my wee one is total nightmare sleeper also, its not unusual for him to wake 1o times in the night and no one else can settle him at night. What i do to cope is let dh sleep in spare room as he is of no use anyway on the condition he gets up with him after last feed of the night. he then takes him out for between 1 and 3 hours and i try to sleep then. this only works on days when dh not working but poss you couold set up a shift system so yr in laws and mum could help too. you must make it clear how close you are to collapsing. i find crying hysterically in public places works quite well
Have heard reflux can improve when solids start so maybe it wioll get better soon?
Oh and when mine goes to sleep in pram i go to cafe, sit outside where its quiet and have a mocha and malteaser cake which helps somewhat

lol at crying in public places!

it's grim, isn't it, goodname?

yes, cake helps.

actually had a better night last night. god knows what tonight brings though, eh?

i would like ils to help, but they are always making excuses that they are busy (bowling). if we had more money i'd send ds1 to nursery full time - which he'd love anyway, he is 4 and v. outgoing - but that isn't going to happen. as it is, my mum goes away for a fortnight in january, so might try to save to send him to oour local chidmindet a few times?

oh, and yes, dh in ds1's room.

i get him up at weekends.

I really feel for you. My dd2 had bad reflux and my dd3 has it as well ( 4 mths) The reflux does improve by about 5-6 mths but the bad habits have already been established. That is - lots of carrying in arms and on shoulder to keep feeds down. They just get used to that and cant sleep any other way. I remember staying at my mum's for the weekend when dd2 was 5 mths old and her waking me every 20- 30 minutes or so!! In the morning, I just cryed and cryed on my mum's shoulders but she wasn't much help and said that's what kids do!

I hope I am not speaking out of line but it may be the time to seriously get some help with the sleep issue as no one can carry on like this. I'm really struggling with a 4 mth old who is the youngest of 3 kids but I have managed to improve her sleep a little by letting her cry it out a bit more after I make sure all her needs have been met ( apart from the need to sleep on my shoulder of course!)

As for hallucinating...I permanantly feel like I'm on a boat - that subtle vertigo all the time through tiredness.

It's bloody awful, isn't it, that feeling you're hallucinating? I always think of that line in Men in Black when Tommy Lee Jones is talking about getting used to the 37-hour day: "You'll get used to it. Or you'll have a psychotic episode."

I just make sure DH knows when I'm getting close to having a psychotic episode. I have been known to wake him at 5am, dump the baby on him and explain that I'm off to sleep in the spare room for the sake of my sanity. He takes it very well, to be fair...

FWIW DS started sleeping a bit better at 24 weeks or so when we introduced a few solids.

Good luck, NTT!

:(

Another recommendation for hysterics in public.

No other advice but I do hope it improves soon.

Thanks guys.

I've kind of got a secodn wind yesterday and today. Every so often I hit a wall. like the other day. Then I perk back up again. Still, I may employ the hysterics in public... worth a shot.

He's 22 weeks today, so not long till we start the old grub. I was considering BLW, but not sure. Might do predominantly finger stuff with the odd bit of porridge thrown in?

Love that line from MIB!

Nicky,

Is he on ranitadine? That helped our son a lot.

What about an arms reach co sleeper so he is next to you in the bed but not in the bed.
I got a second hand one on ebay for my son.

Its so bad when you just want to lie down on the pavement and sleep - it will pass. In the meantime try and get some help a relative or pay someone to give you a good nap in the morning while they take junior out for some freah air. I know its so hard to ask for help when you 'are at home all day'' etc etc. You may find that a neighbour would love to help - a retired next door neighbour Maureen used to come in and hold my daughter. Her own grandaughter lived along way away so she loved it too.

Reflux must be awful has he been allergy tested as he could be allergic to something you are eating/a particular brand of formula.
A friend of mine's baby had to go onto soya formula. Dont panic as they can sort you out really quickly. You could speak to your health visitor.

I joined La Leche league - they really helped me it mother to mother support by women who have all been in your situation re exhaustion.

Good luck and enjoy your bambino....!!!

Hi nicky. We started to put DS in a cot after holding him until about 4/5 months at night. We got blocks for our cot and a wedge and propped him up on his left hand side (better for reflux) with a rolled up towel. ruby is right, you will turn a corner soon. Is he rolling? trying to sit? Once DS could roll onto his front he did so in his sleep and started to sleep longer stretches. First night he slept til 2/3am then I had to go and feed him to prevent my boobs exploding.

We tried BLW which was fine at first but he started to find swallowing lumps uncomfortable - he'd arch etc. So I did purees with softer finger foods instead. Also he reacted to a lot of food which was disheartening so I'd go slowly, especially with acidic foods.

thanks everyone.

had a nice afternoon out with my friend who also owns a non-sleeper.

fingers crossed for next month!

and apologies for brevity - ds feeding!

Are you keeping going with the gaviscon, we too had this - dd really improved around a year old. Can you take him for some cranial osteopathy to help him relax?

Yes avoid acidic foods and she was a nightmare when she teethed but teething powders seemed to help - her poo seemed to change to pure acid when teething.

Big hugs

Is he completely BF? I'm still trying to give away my (fantastic) Dr Browns bottles. REally helped with DS's reflux.

He did improve dramatically around 5 months anyway, so hopefully the worst is over.

Let me know if you'd like the bottles. Happy to post.

bless you for the bott;e offer/ aye, just the tit at the mo!

gaviscon wasn't much help = ranitadine good though.

More sympathy for the tiredness. DS was unputdownable like this. It's utterly brutal, and I can identify with not wanting to unsettle things by passing him over to your DH. But what may have been impossible a month/fortnight ago might be suprisingly ok now so do keep trying. Really hope things get lots better soon.