6 week old I can never put down! Help!

[Samvet]

I have a lovely 6 week old ds1. As a new mum I am very anxious and I suspect expect too much from me and him.
However, during the day he will sleep fine but only on me! As soon as I put him down he cries. This is trapping me on the sofa all day and I get nothing done. Is this normal? Will he get better as he gets older? I tried a baby bjorn sling but it hurt my back as he is very heavy - nearly 13lb. And he screamed when in it - worth trying again? Do they get used to slings?
At night my hubby holds him until 11-12 for final feed and then he will sleep in his cot.
Too young for any sleep training? Should I start a bedtime routine for the cot plus daytime naps in the cot? I am anxious not to let him cry. I am not picking him up too soon I don't think, this is full on crying.
Any help from experienced mums would be great. Not sure what I should expect at this age. Is nice he likes me enough to sleep so well on me!
Thank you!

It's normal! Don't worry, he's still tiny enough to need to be close all the time. It will change, don't stress about it, and just enjoy the cuddling. :) you could try getting a different type of sling, an ergo or something.

Thank you! This mum thing has made me a neurotic loon!

Also, some babies like to sleep in the pram, or one of those swing things. You could try that if your arms need a break. But really he will grow out of it so just put everything else on hold for a bit. Your only job right now needs to be mothering, not housework.

Its totally normal for some babies. My dd was happy to be put down anywhere, my ds was constantly attached to me for the first 5 months.

Definitely recommend a different type of sling (I had a Close baby carrier for my massive ds and it was brilliant). Swaddling can be good as well. I used to lie with ds in our bed (with him swaddled) and then transfer him once he was fast asleep (didn't want to co sleep all night).

Get a better sling.

I got a maya wrap for DS2, who I couldn't put down at all for about 3 months. He loved it and it spreads the weight far better than a baby bjorn. It's seems to partly be about getting a good, comfortable sling, and partly about being confident in wearing it. DS2 loved being snuggled up close to my chest, and it meant I could use my arms again.

I'm sure there's a section somewhere on this labyrinthine site where people will advise you on the best kind of sling for your needs.

Me too! My DD won't let me put her down either. I use a woven wrap which is fantastic for me. I get back and pelvis pain but find the wrap very comfortable. DD is 12lb 5oz.

My ds3 was like this -its lovely and youll miss it .

What might help is wrapping him in the cardi or Tshirt you wore earlier or the day before - its the scent of you that helps him settle- i did this with all of mine and recently left my pyjamas in my teen dss room they are aged 15and 17 both said they could smell me all night and slept really well.

I had one like this. A sling helped, I could even hang out the washing wearing him. So did co-sleeping (at least that way we got some sleep). Finally, I got a battery driven swing, that played a tune as it went. He loved that, and it meant that I could put him down for long enough to wash up, or hoover, or peeel the potatoes.

He was a rotten sleeper, so that swing just about saved my sanity.

He grew out of it - and is now a lovely, affectionate 11 year old, who sleeps like a log. Still fairly Mum-focused, but I am selling the vitues of independance and self-reliance hard at the moment.

Not quite sure why peeling the potatoes needed so many eeees in my last post. I don't think that I am still sleep deprived!

What the others said!

Loads of people and babies find the Baby Bjorn sling uncomfortable - try a stretchy wrap like a Kari-Me or (as suggested up-thread) an Ergo.

And make sure DP/DH is in charge of housework!!

[hsmile]

Thanks so much!

I had EXACTLY the same thing with my DD and she also wouldn't sleep in her stroller. It was a nightmare for what felt like ages (but was only really a month or so) as she would only sleep in my arms.

I decided just to give in to it and not try to force her to sleep separately. I spent a lot of time sitting on the couch reading while she slept. Here is what I ended up eventually going:

1. Getting a better sling - one that was just a simple bit of cotton that held her close to me.

2. At three months I decided she had to learn to sleep on her own during the day so I started sleep training. She slept in a hammock so I would put her in there and rock er with my hand on her chest. Sometimes it would take her 40 minutes to go to sleep but eventually she would and time got shorter and shorter.

And now she sleeps fine by herself and in her stroller. I am really glad I didn't push it before she was ready.

Now she is such an independent soul and hates being held so I miss those days! But it is hard at the time, I know.

Thanks chaya5738. I am trying to go with the flow and enjoy the fact he loves sleeping on us. Have ordered new sling so will try that. When u started sleep training did you pick her up again if she cried or continue rocking? Thanks again for the advice

I had the same problem with my baby bjorn and abandoned it for a fab Wilkonet sling which holds the baby closer and higher. It's much better for the spine!

Do just let things go though - hes such a young baby and it would be too early for sleep training.

Maybe make a note of when he sleeps though and see if a routine naturally forms. You could slowly build on this.

Babies do like to sleep in odd places. My eldest you could put him down in any cot/bed and he would nod off. My other one just has to do day time sleeps in a car seat even now aged 2.

My DD was exactly the same.
She began to put herself into a routine of going to sleep at the same time at night when she was about 4.5months old, even now though she still has to be rocked to sleep in our arms. it is only within the last few weeks she has been taking proper daytime naps in her cot instead of catnaps on my lap and being more contented to sit alone for short periods in the day (shes 8 months). I have never tried to force her into a routine, she has put herself into routines which has maybe been a mistake but it has worked out OK in the end.

My DS was exactly the same too.

I could not put him down as he would wake instantly. He would only sleep briefly in the car or in a rocking chair. At night we ended up co-sleeping as it was the only way we could all get rest. Your LO is far too young for sleep training. It is the most natural thing for them to want to be close to you at this stage, and your situation is completely normal.

I used to think I was the only one with a baby like this. Now I know that Disney babies are few and far between, and the only thing I can say is that it does goes a lot easier. As they grow they get more content and happy to be left for longer, as catswhiskers says above.

My DS is now 6 months and has just started to settle himself in his cot, although it still requires some patience and rocking him to soothe him. This is only during the day, night times are yet to be tackled!

Enjoy the cuddles, they grow so quickly and you will miss them eventually

I could do with some advice too, anything apart from a sling! I have been using one but would like to be able to eat a meal without a baby strapped to me.

The first two weeks she would be put down on a pillow. Now it's on me on in the sling, which is fine but I have a v bored 3 year old too! Dd2 is 6 weeks. I need a break! If it's not one limpet child it's another hanging off me!

All this will pass very quickly when it's all passed that is and don't believe anyone who tells you they are not going through the same thing! They will admit it in years to come as if that's what they said at the time and didn't pretend that it was any different.