Help - CIO for 22 mth old ...

[Millie1]

A plea for help from a new member who is feeling like the worst Mummy in the world having let her 22 mth old DS CIO for an hour - with no success. He's still hard at it.

Brief background - until about 2 weeks ago, he went to bed at 7.30pm regular as clockwork, without a peep, following bath, bottle and books. Got a tummy bug two weeks ago and as soon as he started to get over that, this started. Goes ballistic as soon as we try to leave the room - have tried nursing, sitting by his cot, letting him come down and watch TV (usually a big no-no in this house) and even a 30 min drive in the car during which he chatted nineteen to the dozen.

BTW, he gets up anywhere between 7.30 and 8.15am, and naps 1.30 til 3.30pm or so - sometimes more, rarely less though naps have been hit and miss over the last week too.

So, having read the thread below about doing CIO with 22 mth old in bed and the success that lady had, I decided tonight was the night to try it. We've done CIO in the past with success so I don't have a problem with it. Only thing is, he's a bit older and wiser now and instead of 20 mins crying, we're up to 65 mins.

I'm so tempted to go to him, especially as he's screaming 'Mummy, Mummy' but won't.

Any words of wisdom?

Thanks

It's so hard isn't it? Are you in the UK? I think it might be the heat causing problems. My ds is about the same age and is also suddenly waking in the night and we are also v tired! We have resorted to taking it in turns to take him into the spare room and lying down with him in bed. Sometimes he goes hack to sleep, sometimes he doesn't for a while, and then he goes back in his cot. We are also experimenting with cutting his nap down an hour, and also not getting too worried about it until the hot spell is over. I don't sleep that well in the heat either. If he's still waking when it is cooler then we are going to have to ignore him I suppose. It is harder when they can talk isn't it?

Is he asleep yet?

Is CIO like controlled crying? my dd has also been waking lately which is not like her she is 9mths,i too put it down to the heat so i got her a fan which i placed on the floor across the room pointing in the general direction of her cot since then she has slept like a 'baby'dont know if its the cool air or the rhythmic noise of the fan but hey shes sleeping!

Have you tried going in to him every so often, without picking him up or talking to him? I found the Controlled crying technique (Richard Ferber and Christopher Green) really good.
Leave him for 5 minutes ... go in and stroke his head, say it is night time and leave. Leave him for 7 minutes ... go in and do as before then leave him for 9 minutes and carry on like that extending the period by 2 minutes every time.
This way your DS knows you haven't abandoned him and that you are coming back.
We have did this when DS was 18 months and then again at 2 and it does work ... The first time I think he cried for an hour total (with me going in and out) before he fell asleep and then next night it was less ... by the third night he went down without a peep.
The other thing is that he might be needing a bit less sleep in the day. My DS began to play up at bedtime at around 2 and I worked out that if I let him sleep past 2.30pm he would not be ready for bed before 9pm.

I read recently that at 22 - 23 months most toddlers start to need less sleep in the day. Was gutted as I love ds's naptime! Also late naps can spell disaster. Could you move the nap forward - eg 11 or 12 and wake him after an hour? He may be more ready for bed then. I also would go in at intervals if he's not settling, pat, reassure and leave, unless that makes things worse.

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Thanks everyone. Last night he cried for 70 mins then went to sleep. This afternoon, he cried for maybe 5 mins. Tonight we're just starting again. The heat was bothering him a week or ten days ago with him waking frequently during the night but I don't think that's the problem now. I know I need to move his naptime forward a bit anyway but tend to think this is just a phase as he does it from time to time. Just this time, like someone said, at this age he has much more stamina and is likely to keep it up for longer. He's a stubborn wee thing and going into him at intervals simply doesn't work.

Wish us luck for tonight - I'll post an update later!

Millie

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what is cio?

Cry it out (as opposed to CC - controlled crying) Strictly speaking, i think CIO means just letting them cry (no intervention), while CC is going in every so often and patting (but never lifting them out of the cot).

Hi all ... so far so good! Last night, this afternoon and tonight he went down without a peep!

I can't believe that one night of CIO has solved this 'blip' but sure as heck hope so!

Thanks for all the advice.

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