Is co-sleeping "rod-own-back-y"?

[beancounting]

DD is 13 weeks and has never been a great sleeper so it feels like we're accumulating bad habits - she won't self-settle and needs either feeding/rocking to go to sleep. The last 10 days or so have been particularly bad with usually one 2-3 hour block of sleep followed by waking every 45 mins to an hour (presumably after every sleep cycle?).

On Sunday night I took her into bed at 2am to feed lying down (which I hadn't been doing before) - and next thing I know it's 6am! But last night I reverted to feeding her back to sleep and then putting her in her crib asleep, and she woke 3 or 4 times (so not as bad as before but not great).

I don't mind co-sleeping in the short term (although I was a bit cold as the duvet was only up to my waist) but don't really want to be doing it on a longer term basis, e.g. when she's more mobile as I can see her taking over the entire bed (also bit worried about her falling out) - should I perservere with trying to get her to stay in her crib, or if we co-sleep for say a week to recharge the batteries, is it going to be even harder to get her to sleep on her own afterwards? If you co-slept, how long did you do it for and how easy was it to stop when you wanted to?

Thank you everyone for your very sensible and reassuring replies - this is our 1st DC and I'm finding it hard because what "feels right" and seems to work best is the opposite of what all the stupid books --I read when naively pregnant seem to recommend. Various MN threads have saved my sanity over the last few months but I still have wobbles (and I wish I'd never read any of those books in the first place!). :)

Seriously, throw the books out. Just do your own thing.

Most of all when your DD gets on to the weaning thing, don't buy Annabel Karmel weaning books and think you have to make all those silly recipes! (I speak as one who ran herself ragged trying to stick to those baby menus - lasted all of a month before my mother had a quiet word and said she hoped she wasn't interfering but it really wasn't necessary to be quite so gung-ho!)

Ho ho. Am sure am making many similar mistakes now which will look back on when DD is 3 and think "what an idiot"

RaisingMrC, when the baby howls every time you roll over, or when you tear muscles in your back because you were so exhausted that you slept in a totally unsuitable position in order to accommodate your dc, then you know that the baby is using your nipple as a dummy. That was my ds2.

When OTOH, you have had a good night's sleep, maybe got up to go to the loo, or woke in the morning next to a sleeping baby withou a boob in her mouth, then you know the baby is feeding because she is hungry and settling to sleep well, without dummying on you. That was my dd.

In fact, dh says that he once woke in the night to find dd and me, both fast asleep, with dd feeding through my pyjama top! He says I was giving her "filtered milk" . Wgn she had finished she unlatched and both of us continued to sleep placidly.

Prettycandles that is such a lovely image, your dd feeding trough your pyjama top! My DC would have to have super sucking powers as I always sleep in passion killers flanelette pyjamas.

Hmmm, sounds like I am being used as a dummy then! What can I do about it? What did you do, Prettycandles?

Depends on the age of the baby.

One thing that can help at any age is a technique I picked up from The No Cry Sleep Solution.

When the baby is drifting off, or suckling in his sleep, break the suction, take him off the boob with minimal movement and gently hold his mouth closed with a finger under his chin. If he gets distressed or roots, let him back on to the breast. Wait until he is calm again and repeat. Repeat as many times as necessary until he doesn't try to go back on - or you have had enough.

It might take 5, 10, 15 tries on the first attempt, but over the feeds or nights it should take fewer and fewer tries. Eventually the baby will accept the removal and just continue to sleep, or even - and I didn't believe it when I read about it, but it's true, it happened to me - the baby may come off the breast spontaneously, roll over, and go to sleep!

You can also try turning your back on the baby in bed, so your reassuring smell and heartbeat are there for him, but no tempting bosom.

prettycandles that is so sweet and agree the 'No cry' books are excellent
more like a friendly 'let's try this' and building your confidence rather than the barking orders type

No.

But 'Rod-own-backy' is surely a candidate for the Baby Name topic?

co-sleeping is the only thing that saved my sanity with dc2, and there's no way I could have returned to work if I didn't co sleep. DD is in her own room now but I still go in most nights when she wakes up and I usually spend half the night in there. I was in with her frm 3am until 7am this morning, and a lovely time we had too, all snuggled up and comfy :o

We co-slept with dc3 (14 weeks) until recently. He'd fall asleep on us (which was sometimes nearly all night on the beginning) and then be put down in the middle, high up between a sizable gap between the pillows, so no danger of squishing/over-heating. We then moved his cotbed to the side of our bed with one set of rails off to dh's side so he's comforted and easily reached but slightly removed from his source of milk (me). And gradually he has come to accept going down in his cotbed, awake, with us in sight. We're now trying to bring his bedtime forward and settle on his own, with mixed results, but he's now sleeping like a dream.

Good luck with your dc