Desperate to get a 9 year old to sleep

[Scarlettmother]

Any thought or help or advice or anything please???
My 9 year old is impossible to get to sleep, in bed by 8.30 - reads until 9.15 and still shouting to be checked on at 10. I then have to drag him out of bed at 7.30 saying he is shattered, feels sick etc.
That said he is doing well at school and school have no concerns.
How long should he sleep for?
Shoudl i accept he is an owl who will always have this sleep pattern?
Should I be firm & just turn the light off at 8.30 and get him up earlier?
Are my expectations just too high?

Any thoughts, I'm desperate and it causes arguments in our house constantly!!

My 9 year old would love to bugger around till 10pm.

I simply don't allow it. On school nights, he goes to bed at 7.30 and reads until 8pm. I give him a 10 minute warning, then it's lights out.

Firm is the only way to go IME. Mucking about after lights out in our house results in a punishment after the 3rd warning.

He was up to all sort for a while after lights out - this went of for weeks. I got tough and he soon got the message that he'd get no attention and get his DSi confiscated, get money docked from his pocket money, if he didn't toe the line.

Good luck.

DS1 needs around 10ish hours of sleep a night to function without being cranky.

He is very active though e.g. on three days a week he does sport before school and only gets home after 5, he's normally pretty happy to go to bed.

Yes be firm. He's only 9 and not really able to make informed decisions that involve thinking about needing to be up next day, far more immediately exciting to be up late. You may need to use rewards, or possibly sanctions at this age.

In my household it wouldn't be a problem I felt needed to be solved, OP.

I go to bed about 8:30-9pm. At that point, I leave my 9 and nearly 11yo to turn out their own lights when they choose (I nag if I happen to get up and notice lights on after 10pm, though).

The nearly 11yo turns out the light when he's tired and falls asleep quickly, is often up before me in the morning. The 9yo is like me and could lie there for hours in the dark, bored and not really sleepy yet, so I sympathise with her wanting to just stay up. She is quite sluggish in the morning... but so am I, come to think of it.

Mine are doing acceptably okay at getting up and being at school.

I agree that 9yo's need 10 hours of sleep, and that they are not old enough to make an informed decision, but even if you turn the light out and tell him firmly to go to sleep, he may not be able to nod off till later.

I tell mine that it is good to lie in bed relaxing even if they can't get straight to sleep

Thank-you, all great advice.
I need to stand my ground. He is really active at school but also a really determined character (!!). I neeed to take charge I think. I'm going to go for firm and the 10 hours. I would also like some time to myself in the evening to get everything else done that needs to be done & not be running up and down the stairs for hours.
Frst time I've used mumsnet - thank-you. [hsmile]