Is there any way I can persuade 16 week old dd to start the day slightly later?

[themothership]

Hi everyone.

My 16 week old dd has taken to starting the day between 5-6am. She sleeps next to our bed, but often comes in with me during the night when she wakes for a feed. She'll wake at around 4:30 - 5am for a feed, but now doesn't seem to take much. However, after that she won't settle and will just writhe and complain until I get her up. Obviously, because she's in with us, it disturbs both me and dh. I've tried just leaving her to see if she'll resettle herself, but she just gets agitated and starts crying after a while.

During the day, it's really hard work getting her to nap (whole other story), particularly in the afternoon, so she tends to go to bed between 7-8pm. Sometimes it can take over an hour to settle her, but that's because she gets overtired.

I can't catch up on sleep during the day because she won't nap unless I sit holding her - she won't let me lie down with her. I'm exhausted. She already wakes in the night at any time between 1.30 - 3am for a feed, even though she takes 6 oz for a dreamfeed at 10pm. The only other thing is that she's on the small size for her age, at 12 lbs, 7oz.

Is there anything that I can do to get her to sleep for a bit longer? Not expecting miracles, but a 7am start would be so much more bearable.

I think this is just parenting!!!
My ds wakes 3 times a night and is almost one!! I am up at 6 most mornings!! He naps during the day and does settle himself. I am a zombie!!!

Oh dear. I'd give anything for my dd to nap during the day without me having to hold her, so that I could at least catch up on some sleep. If this continues indefinitely though, I don't know what I'll do when I go back to work. I have a demanding job, but I won't be able to do it on the amount of sleep that I'm getting...

could you delay going back to work?
Maybe until baby is more settled?
Do you breast or bottle feed?

Well I wasn't planning to go back until March / April next year - dd will be 9-10 months by then. But if she isn't settled and sleeping better by then, we don't have much choice - I had to save up the money to pay our mortgage etc. while I was pregnant, and unfortunately I can't afford not to go back to work.

Am breastfeeding by the way,

how does dd sleep with you holding her? is there any way you can gently lay her down? in the early days, dd would fall asleep on me and i would lay her on the rug next to me, snuggle up and catch up on some sleep! eventually i was able to lie her down and she would sleep without me being with her. and from there i slowly started getting her used to being put in her cot when she was asleep.

i worked from home from day 1 so i couldnt afford the luxury of sleeping during the day with her. i'm now in the office 3 days per week and home with her 2 days. sometimes she naps sometimes she doesnt.

Sympathies here
Our 22 week old dd is not a day sleeper either and it is tough [especially as dw has our 22 month old dd to look after too]
DD2 was then going to bed around 8pm and waking hourly or two hourly all through the night. however last night dw put her down in her cot at half 6 ish and bingo. She woke once for a feed at 12ish and then slept til 7 [unheard of].She was clearly hugely overtired which was affecting her sleep.
Maybe putting your little one to bed earlier would work.

think you need to work on the daytime naps. will she sleep in a pram if you rock it/take her out for a walk?

also at that age my 2 both needed a nap exactly 2 hours after getting up - it can just be a question of timing. with ds I left him to cry for 10 mins with the nap, but if I timed it right is was only 10 mins.

Hi there, thanks for all the advice. There's a whole other thread where I poured my heart out re: daytime naps (see 'Nap training...it's breaking my heart). I used to be able to put dd down once I'd got her off to sleep in my arms but that was when she was really young. Since 6 weeks or so, she'll sleep if I put her down for the first sleep cycle but then I have to hold her for the remaining hour or so that she needs and she won't let me put her down (although she sleeps well in my arms). At the moment, she's teething, and refusing to be put down at all!

I've tried sling, pram etc. all to no avail. She still doesn't seem to be able to stay up that long, so we usually start winding down after an hour, and she seems to need to sleep for a couple of hours at a time.

I do try and get her to bed early. Yesterday, we tried to settle her for 6pm but it took us 50 minutes eventually before she dropped off, and that was a good day!

i sympathise, really i do, my ds2 is 2 years and 2mths and still wakes approx twice a night and is up for the day at 6am.

have you tried "swaddling" her in a blanket so she "feels" as if she is being held. It worked for me for daytime naps.

Yep, swaddled her since she was born for all naps and sleep. Does help, but not enough to get her taking her naps without major assistance from moi.

Is there any chance that she might just naturally extend her sleeping time? Or by this stage (i.e. around 4 months) have they pretty established the pattern that they'll continue to follow?

My dd (now 6 months) never napped properly in the day until about the 3 month mark, when things started to suddenly get better, bit by bit. Now she has 2 x 2 hour sleeps and sometimes a late afternoon cat nap. When she was younger I dispaired that she would ever sleep during the day, so am really happy now. My advice would be to watch her very closely for any tired signs. With mine it's mainly ear flapping or putting her thumb in the mouth. The minute I see that I pick her up and go straight to her room. Give her a 2 minute cuddle while singing her 'sleep song'. Can be anything, just sing the same thing every time you want her to go down. DD also has a little blankie, which she is only given in her cot. I swear by this thing as it really helps her to settle. She often pulls it over her face and sleeps like that.
Sometimes she''ll have a little moan but I just leave her to it, as I know she's tired. She will eventually fall asleep.
Think there's such a fine line between them being happily awake and tired at that age that you really have to watch them very closely for those tired signs and don't leave it until they get niggly. That's when it's tricky to get them to nap. I think with the holding her business, you'll probably have to go cold turkey, swaddle her tightly and leave her to it. Not easy, but you might need to for your own sanity.

ds2 is just 4 months (sorry, I've lost track of the no. of weeks). I have been back at work for a month 3 days a week. Nursery has found that by the 3rd day he is there his daytime naps are long and well structured, but then he's home with us for 4 days and when he gets back to nursery they train him up again! We reckon he naps better there because of the structure - his sleeps are always more or less the same time, and there is no cat napping if he's having a cuddle or out and about, and because the whole baby room settles down for a sleep at around the same time.

He has been much more settled at night since I went back to work and he started nursery too. I would put that down to me being happier and so more relaxed with him and the fact that he loves watching the big children play and so is a much happier baby. The fact that he gets decent daytime sleep at nursery helps too.

So I would disagree with delaying going back to work. For me it was what sorted ds2 out!

Have you considered weaning early? Even a teaspoon of babyrice with last feed might give her enough in her stomach to zonk her out?