Help - sleep associations sleep training etc etc !!!

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Hello - i'd love advice from anyone thats been there and done it!

My son is on a 3hr easy routine and follows it to the letter for eating and activity. He has recently gone into a cot in his own room (from a small one attached to our bed) and its totally hit and miss if he can go to sleep. I used to rock him to sleep and let him sleep on me if he couldn't sleep and I am trying to get him to sleep on his own. At night he is fine to go to sleep and some naps but not many. We go out quite a lot in the day and I think he gets used to the motion of the car of the pram and then can't get himself off to sleep in his cot afterwards. So what do I do - do I stay in for a week and get him used to the cot? gradually rock him less and less? or what? Its really becomming upsetting for me - he is 13 weeks old and I really want him to be able to sleep on his own for his own sake.

Thanks

Rachel

Bump.. anyone?

We used to put our DTs in their cot, put a lullaby CD on as their sleep cue (for night time and naps) dummy, muslin next to head to snuggle up to (they really like this), then lots of shhhing next to head, stroking face, stroking downwards on bridge of nose etc. Any soothing, calming sort of stuff.

Sometimes a change of postiton worked for some reason (trapped wind perhaps) like rolling onto side for a minute then onto back again.

We rarely picked them up once down. Luckily they never got really hysterical, just sort of mild crying and wingeing but it was hard.

It was so worth it because now they go out like lights at nap and night time. Lullaby CD, dummy, muslin, sleep.

We cracked night time first, then once I decided that they needed more substantial naps in the day, rather than that constant napping of newborns ifkwim, I tackled daytime naps. Staying in for a week like you suggested was useful to get them used to the cot in the day time. At first I couldn't get more than half hour or so out of them but it has gradually increased until they go for hour or hour and half during day. They have extended the daytime nap on their own somehow!

Can still be a bit hit and miss sometimes but we are definately getting better and life is getting easier!

DTs are 8 months btw.

Hope that helps and good luck!

Just to add...

At the age your baby is we were getting them used to going down on own at night but were no where near starting day time nap routine. Were probably still cuddling babies to sleep or going for a walk or drive. However, DTs were premature so everything has been a bit later in our development and I don't know what age you would normally start daytime nap routine, if there is a 'normal'

Thanks so much for your help - everything for me feels hit and miss at the moment (DS was ok on a 3 hr easy but things have changed for some reason?)

will keep trying! - he goes down sometimes and I wonder if he might not be tired enough?

I found that at 13 weeks everything that 'worked' before stopped working were bubs sleep was concerned- and reading up I put it down to the 4 month sleep regression, hate to say it but this lasted until she was 23 weeks :(

only good news is for the last 4 weeks she has gone back to being a good sleeper, so much is changing at this time developmentally, it impacts their sleep, routine or no routine I'm afraid...

Could be the 4 month sleep regression - their brains are really busy working on a huge developmental spurt which happens at around 19 weeks.

There is a great book explaining it called The Wonder Weeks by two scientists who researched all the developmental spurts up to 13 months.

They say "Your baby may not settle down well at night now. It may be more difficult to get her to bed in the evenings, or she may lie awake at night. She may want a night feeding again, or she may even demand to be fed several times a night. She may also wake up much earlier in the morning."

They also say: "The fussy period preceding the developmental spurt will often last 5 weeks, although it may be as short as 1 week or as long as 6."

The good news is that is passes on its own ? and isn?t a sign of babies needing to start solids either.

There?s useful information on the sleep regression here, here, here and here.

It's absolutely normal for a baby this age not to be able to go to sleep on their own, though - burn chuck out any baby book that tells you they 'should'.