a sleep/milk question...why is ds refusing a bottle at night?

[PavlovtheCat]

DS is mostly breastfed. However, he tends to have a bottle before a bf at bed time, then at 11:30pm dh feeds him a bottle, tends to wake for it although intended to be a dream feed. at around 2:30am or so, ds wakes and used to have a breastfeed, but recently been having a bottle, wakes at 5:30am for 1 hour of suckle/feed before waking for the morning.

10:30am and he has half a bottle, sometimes not at all, depends what mood he is in, if i am around, he wants breastmilk, but he has been fine with, or without it.

the last few days, he has refused ALL bottles, at any time of the day, no matter how hungry and ONLY wanted milk from me.

Last night, we left him instead of giving his 11:30pm feed, as he did not settle til 9pm, wanting to suckle on the boob only, refusing any attempt at a bottle, and he slept til 2am, then woke at 5:30am as normal, and did not go back to sleep.

Any ideas? could it be that MIL is here and he is a bit out of sorts? could it be seperation anxiety? coule it be he does not want milk as much? (he can't be getting much from me, would think my supply would have reduced in the night time after a while of not feeding?).

He has 4 new teeth, and i don't think its teething, as the whole time he was teething he still took a bottle.

Any ideas would be great as we just do not know how to get him sleeping through, or now drinking milk.

I should have said 'up to recently ds was mostly breastfed'

bumping for the approaching bedtime stint...

anyone?

i am guessing that 1) he wants some peace and quiet when sleeping and 2 he wants less milk.

put the kids to bed while dh and mil were at shops, all was calm, vaguely offered the bottle to ds at 7:15pm but he was not interested so i just gave him boob. 15 mins, out like a light, slept til 11:30pm, had 4oz milk from a bottle, slept til 4:30am, had boob, slept til 6:15am. no fussing. so stressing, not much milk.

i shall not expect that again!

Anyone have any ideas on this? not entirely convinced last night was not just a one-off as he is so tired.

or am I just talking to myself here (watches the tumbleweeds roll across the thread)

How old is he?

Maybe he just wants you and a bottle means no mummy. My DS goes through phases where he will only be settled by me when he wakes. Other times DH has no problems.

iggly he is 10.5months.

night before last slept well, last night woke at 1am, half hour to settle, 4am, took hour to settle, then woke at 6am by dd . in the grand scheme of things it isn't so bad, it's been worse, but ntl i am not happy this morning, on my day off. out of 8 days off work (inc weekends), how many mornings have i been up at 6am or earlier i wonder? .

it does appear he is not much interested in night milk, does just want me.

iggly i have also noticed it is mostly you who posts on my eating/sleeping threads!

Lol Pavlov. I only posted because of the tumbleweed

I also spend far too much time on MN!!

Maybe he doesn't want to feed in the night any more and just needs settling. Is he getting plenty of solid food and milk in the day? If so, and you think you and he are both ready, you could wean him off his night feed. The fact that he is not keen on milk in the night or his mid-morning bottle suggests to me this could be the case.

Once we stopped the night feed for our dd (at 7mo) she became much more settled at night in general, has learned to settle herself when she wakes, and dropped the dream feed of her own accord.

The method we used was basically cold turkey for the middle-of-the-night feed, daddy offering a beaker of water and then using pick up/put down to settle her. It took two nights and she's slept through since (though is now waking for the day at 5.15am most days, lest you think me smug!)

I wouldn't reccommend this unless you feel absolutely ready and you're sure he's getting enough in the day though.

exploding i think you are right. The problem is DH just won't/doesn't/can't/whatever wake in the night to sort him, not consistently anyway, and when he does, like this morning at 4am, he brought him to me immediately rather than settle him.

If he is ready to stop feeding at night, I would be very happy indeed. I am ready to say goodbye to my permanent dark circles! Maybe we will try this over the next couple of days once MIL has gone.

He gets plenty of food in the day, not a ridiculous amount of milk, as he loves food, but he gets 3 good solid/large meals, pudding at lunch and dinner, plus lots of snacks, as well as water and milk. I think he is ready.

Well then, a full night's sleep could be closer than you think! It feels like a big step, but I think you know when you're ready. You just hit a brick wall really don't you.

We planned ahead for Operation Cold Turkey, which really helped as we knew it was coming and could brace ourselves. It also meant it wasn't a spur of the moment, middle of the night decision. Maybe your DH would be keener to help out if it feels like a project!

We did it at the weekend so DP would not be getting up for work and we could share the childcare in the day if we'd had a horrendous night (turns out it wasn't bad at all, though).

We also chose a time when there would be no upheaval for a couple of weeks- no trips away, no overnight visitors etc- as we didn't want to undo whatever we'd achieved.

Honestly, it was so easy in the end. DD was up for 70 minutes the first night, 50 minutes the next, and then slept through. She never reached the bawling-her-eys-out stage and we didn't leave her to cry. PUPD can feel like it's not working when you're in the throes of it, but for us it really did work.

Now if someone can tell me how to encourage her to sleep until 7am my life will be complete!

in fact DH just told me the other night when he settled DS at 11:30pm, he did not want milk, so therefore he took 30 mins with no milk and went back to sleep, woke at 5am or whenever it was then! So, it is close!

Had a quick chat, we will give it a couple of days to recover from MIL being here! And then DH is up for it.