How can I get 15 month dd to fall asleep without rocking?

[LiegeAndLief]

Dd is 15 months old, was bf to sleep until about a month ago but is now rocked in my/dh's arms (standing up) and transferred to cot. This works fairly well but she is very heavy and our backs are feeling the strain, especially as she often wakes at night and this is the only way to settle her.

I don't really mind rocking her in the night, but would love to get her settling in the cot at bedtime (ideally on her own, but don't want to be too unrealistic!). I have tried putting her down just before she falls into deep sleep and patting, stroking, cuddling, shhing etc (not all at once!) but even if she appears to settle she starts thrashing around and crying after a few mins. Have even tried just putting her down and leaving her to it, in case she was overstimulated, but she wasn't having any of that.

I am really hoping to get something to work over half term, when ds doesn't have to get up in the morning so it won't matter if he is kept awake by a bit of crying in the evening. If we could do it without crying that would be brilliant, but have no idea how! Any tips gratefully received.

My DD is 14 mo and decided a while ago that she'd happily gobble a bedtime bf, but not let it make her go to sleep. So we had quite a few months of the constant rocking, which was sometimes allowed to be in the rocking chair, but mostly had to be standing up, and always had to be me. I decided to start trying to get her into the cot before properly asleep about a month ago and it's no quick fix but she is now refusing to be rocked and pointing to be put in her cot. It still takes a while and I have to put my hands where she wants them so she can stroke them till she drops off (she'd love to have her hand down my top, but that involves too much contortion). Usually she flips over and sits up a few times, so we start again.
So basically, I'm saying that I didn't do anything really, it's just been a matter of time, so maybe the same will happen with your DD. I've been grateful for having a light baby, although she's bulking up now!

We had the same sort of thing at the same sort of age with DS, and it was shush-pat which ended up working for us, although I don't want to say it is the answer, as every child is different.

However, another thing you could try is adapted from our routine now (2 and a half):

• Take the cot side off so you can lean over/pat/ cuddle without straining your backs. A bed bar should do the trick unless you have a very active climber (my DS doesn't seem to realise he can get out of bed - or else he is traumatised from the beginning, when the bar wasn't fitted correctly, and he fell out!

Bedtime is:

• a story in the rocking chair
• transfer to bed and a further two stories. If DS sits up, I stop reading. When he lies down, I resume reading. Now, I admit this may be a bit more developmentally suitable for an older child, but perhaps give it a go?
• When he has had his 3 stories, I turn down the light and go and sit outside to read my book. When he calls out, I just say "Mummy's here" until he shuts up. Last night, that was ages, so I had to go back in and get him to lie down again with a nice kiss (again, easier without the cot side on).

Hope this gives you some ideas? Good luck. It really is horrible to have this struggle, and when the child already feels so "old", too. However, we got our DS out of his habits, so there is hope!