Have decided to do Control Crying with DD, could you share with us your experiences and outcomes please?

[Mareta]

A bit of background information,

DD is 14 months old and after being sleeping perfectly fine for almost 14 months since last friday putting her to bed has become a very difficult task. Her routine since she was 2 weeks old has always been:
7pm bath
7:30pm breastfeed and bed

Since she started having dinner she eats at 6pm and we follow the same routine than usual. Now suddenly she will start crying when I put her in her bed and will only fall sleep quietly if I hold her in my arms till she is sleeping. For the record she is still breastfeeding.

Last night DP and I both decided that we should give a go CC and it took DD 40 minutes to go to sleep. At the moment I feel like I somehow have failled and cannot understand where we have gone so wrong to start having this problem. I really need to know:

1. We are doing the right thing.
2. It won't have any impact in DD behaviour in a long term. I am really afraid that we may be messing something
3. That I am not such a terrible mother for taking this decision which I know it is the best for all of us but still makes me feel really bad
4. That it will really work and make things better.
5. How long it took you to get things sorted out
6. Any other advice comments you may want to give us so we can know what to expect.

I know it is early days but I really need to know that this is going to end at some point soon before it gets to a point where it is impossible to do anything.

JUst want to add that she is still having an afternoon nap of 1 and a half to two hours.

Please help us. Thank you in advance

If it has only been a problem since last Friday, is it possible that she is a bit under the weather or possibly teething. Teething hurts more when you are lying down which might make her reluctant to go to bed. Ear infections are the same - more painful when lying down. If you have any doubts that she isn't 100% fit then I wouldn't do it.

As for whether it works, in all honesty it didn't for us. We tried with when DS1 was about 9mths. It worked initally (it took about 4 days) but it didn't last - 3 or 4 weeks later he was back to his old ways despite us maintaining the routine. I didn't bother again with him or at all with DS2.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck.

Hi niecie,

Thank you very much for your reply. She seems fine so I am not sure if she is under the weather. Two weeks ago she had chickepox and even then she was going to bed fine without a fight so not sure what it is.

Anyway thank you for sharing your experiene with us.

we did it for both our ds at about 8 months. It took 1 night to work for ds1 and 3 nights for ds2. They've settled and slept through since (unless of course they've been unwell or had nightmares). It was definately worth doing and although it was hard I don't regret it. I think the key is consistency. Chose your method and stick to it. They soon realize you mean business! Good luck.

Hi,

I am in the same boat. My 7.5-month-old wakes every hour and has done since she was born. I don't know how I'm still going, to be honest.

I always swore I would never do it, but I have reached a stage where I actually feel it's irresponsibile if I don't do it. I am bordering on being depressed, my relationship is suffering because we are both so unbelievably exhausted, and our baby isn't getting enough sleep.

However.

I am not doing the full-blown controlled crying. I spoke to my HV, and she said not to leave the baby for longer than ten minutes at a time before going in, and also at around ten minutes, she will be starting to settle herself.

My partner and I agreed that we would always aim for ten minutes. But I know that in order to cope with it, I have to go in if she's sounding very distressed. So that's what we're doing. I also don't leave the room until she's settled, even though I know the guidelines say go in for hardly any time at all.

Also, on the first night, I stayed in her room with her for the first five minutes and gradually spent more time outside the door.

It is working, but more slowly than the full-on version. Last night, she slept for a four-hour stint, for the first time ever. I am not aiming for sleeping through the night, as I don't think she is capable of it.

I am happy doing it this way, and I need to be sure that I'm not being cruel.

Sappholit you sound fabulous, I don't know how you are still going either. For the record I totally agree with you. I would love to compare the effects on young children of crying for a few minutes for a couple of days vs having chronically sleep deprived, depressed parents.

Well CC did not work at all for my dd, we saw a sleep specialist who told us she had more complex issues and would grow out of it. We also think she has sleep paralysis and is a very light sleeper. So at 3.7yo she very rarely sleeps through the night.

DS however slept like a gem until 5.5mo, then he started waking 4 or 5 times a night. A few weeks ago I decided to try the Spaced Soothing method of Jo Tantum, it worked after only 1 night. I had a few weeks of good sleep, then teething broke the pattern and now he's waking again. I'm going to start it again tonight as he seems completely better.

After doing CC with DD I felt awful, I felt evil for trying it. The spaced soothing is basically similar but a little less harsh, it goes a minute at a time, with a minute soothing and no more than 10 mins and go straight in if child gets really upset.

It worked for us,within 2 nights.it was hard but after sleeping through from 4 months she got into a habit of waking up frequently at 12 months.I followed a plan though,i didn't just leave her which is what some people think CC is!
I read a good book called 'teach your child to sleep through the night'.She's a thumb sucker so I think that helps.
Good luck.

Thank you all for your comments. Last noght
i tried a completely different approach and has worked very well so I will stick to it and see what happens.

I am not letting her cry at all so it does not distress me or DP and DD seems to be happy so fingers cross will work tonight also and it may mean a solucion to our problems.

Thank you again

Can you tell me what you did?

I've done CC for the past few days as I've had to suddenly stop bfing her. She's 15 months, we did it a while ago, which started her sleeping at night (at all) routine.

Before the last few days her routine was:

Dinner
Play
Bath
Story with Daddy
Story with me
Breastfeed
Bed (usually no crying)

We've done exactly the same, but I say goodnight before the bath, her dad does story with a cup of milk (tiny amount) and puts her to bed.

Crying was:
day 1 - 1.5 hours
day 2 - 1 hour
day 3 - 10 mins
day 4 (today) immediate!

Before, she would wake at 5am-ish. I would bf her, and if we were lucky she would sleep until 6ish.
Since we've done CC she has slept until 8am!

I know people don't like it, and it is horrible, but it has really worked for us. (yay!)

First 2-3 nights - HELL the 3rd or 4th it worked!! It takes will power and nerves of steel but worth it in the end good luck