Interested in views from people with experience of co-sleeping

[RaisingMrC]

Hi,

I posted about this recently but really wanted to hear from people who co-sleep / slept.

DS is 10 weeks old, starts the night in his cot after some rocking to sleep, then usually wakes 3 hours later when Ibring him into the bed for the rest of the night where he continues to wake 2 - 3 hourly. I've got into the habit, when he wakes of just latching him on then falling back to sleep. While this means I've been feeling fairly well rested I worry about the long term as he is feeding to sleep throughout the night...does this mean he won't start to go any longer between feeds, does he in fact need that many feeds at this stage (can't do question marks as currently bf!)

If you co-slept, how did you do night feeds, and when did you stop co-sleeping and how. Did your baby's sleep improve during the period of co-sleeping.

When I have tried to settle him in his cot in the night, it's hit and miss - sometimes he goes in ok after a feed, may need a bit of rocking, but there has also been nights of pacing the floor with him getting more and more awake.

Interested in your thoughts!

we co-slept with DD from around 13 weeks to 22 weeks, as the so called 4 month sleep regression seemed to hit... never planned to but seemed easiest for everyone to get sleep. To be honest DD's sleep seemed to get worse due to constant latching on and off every hour sometimes, DH got chronic back pain because he was so anxious about not rolling over and crushing her so the only real person to benefit sleep wise was me :)

2 weeks ago we moved her back into cot, using pick up put down and she has gone from hourly wakings to waking once at 1am for a quick snack- but this was definitely not an easy option, took a week for everyone to get used to and I really missed her at first. Now I love peering over to wake her in the mornings and seeing that she has rotated round in her cot in the night!

the biggest learn for me is that co-sleeping is not a rod you make it worked for us when we needed it to IYSWIM.

x

I would second the 'it's not a rod' message. Few things are, in my experience. (Only had one so far, so that's not extensive).

We co-slept from day one, and I always fed him back to sleep at night (only it was every hour and half in my case).

The co-sleeping stopped gradually and naturally as he was able to go for longer between feeds at night.

I think (bit hazy now) that when he was about six months I tried rocking him back to sleep instead of feeding him, the rationale being that if he was really hungry/thirsty he'd wake again fairly quickly.

Within a week of starting that he was sleeping for eight-hour stretches.

They're all different, so just go with the flow.

I co slept with DS1, DS2 and DD2. (With DD1 I didn't have the confidence, and was at my most tired and crankiest despite only having one child!)

I find my babies do feed more during the night than average, when co-sleeping. However, this means less daytime feeds, so gave me more time to do other things during the day. Don't worry about "too many feeds" - its impossible to overfeed with breastmilk.

Mine all dropped night feeds gradually once they were on solids at 6 months. I bring in an evening meal first, to encourage this. Its not overnight, but a gradual progression. Now, DS2 is 14 months and sleeps through in his cot, (in our room) only waking about 7.00. I then give an in-bed feed and cuddles for half an hour before we get up. The only time we wakes in the night for milk now is when he's ill.

Sounds like you're doing great, well done!

We cosleep with our son, 21 months, and always have. I don't think it's a rod at all, as the older he gets the easier it gets - I think it was probably true for us too that he fed more at night than average, but then I've read stuff about babies' brains needing the glucose for optimum development, and so long as I've been able to stay half asleep throughout, it's not cost me too much either.

For a long time now - can't remember exactly but I think since before 12 months - he's fed only for a few seconds when we disturb him by going to bed (we move him to the edge of the bed (have side barrier thing) and also take him for a pee if he wants one) and then no feeds until early morning, when he goes back to sleep until 8ish, which is very manageable for us.

We have another room w double bed we sometimes start the night in, and have no need or inclination to change our set up until our son's older: I love cosleeping, love it the older he gets, it's free cuddles, he sleeps so deeply we can read/chat/what-have-you without disturbing him, I love waking to find him cuddling his dad.

It's so lovely. Keep doing it if it makes your life easier (fwiw I do think we could move him to e.g. a single bed in the same room now, and then on to another room, if we wanted to).

It will all get easier whatever you choose to do.

Oh - should've added, except for teething. Then it's feeds all night. But that's how I choose to soothe him, non-bfers prob use calpol + cuddles - I think cosleeping would make that easier too.

Hi Raisingmrc - congrats for your new baby.

I have co-slept with my three children up to the age of 2 ish (ds moved into a big boy bed at 19 months, dd1 at 23 m), dd2 is 2 in a couple of weeks and I am just considering the transition to a bed for her now.

It has worked well (on the whole) for us and I honestly don't think I could have done it any other way. My children have coped with being in their own beds and rooms as well as any child (from what I can tell). They sleep well have a good bedtime routine, upstairs for stories and bed at 7 and I have no issues with them coming into our bed now(apart from occasions when they are ill and I bring them in for convenience).

The things that have allowed this to work are a bedside cot (with a drop down side), and a super king size bed. Tbh dd2 never used the cot as we bought the bigger new bed just before she was born and the extra inches and a bed guard gave us the space to all sleep comfortably. I have been breastfeeding dd2 for nearly 2 yrs and still do a feed or 2 at night and in the am.

If you have support from your dh, safe and roomy sleeping conditions, and follow the recommendations re. smoking and alcohol, then you should be fine. If you are at all nervous then a bedside cot (if you can find one and have the space) allows you to get the best of both worlds.

How long and how you do it depends on what works for you as a family.

I had a different experience cosleeping. DD was in a bedside cot initially and was always a champion sleeper. Around 6 months she started waking in the night and I'd feed her back to sleep, and I couldn't get her into the cot again, so we moved to full-on cosleeping in our bed. That meant kicking out DH.

I loved sleeping with her but as time went on the wakings were getting worse, and she sometimes would only sleep with my breast in her mouth -- for hours sometimes. I realized that sleeping with me was disturbing her sleep. Also, I know that a BF or two in the night doesn't cause tooth decay, but I think the consensus is that sleeping with the nipple in the mouth can.

It was a tough transition but we moved her into her own room and she sleeps more soundly there. She still wakes for one feed at 10 months.

I miss peeking at her while she's watching me, thinking I'm asleep, and then opening my eyes, which made her explode with delight.

dd usually stayed with me and was fed to sleep, by 10-8 wks we started staying in the bedroom from about 10pm
sometimes she would be in bedside cot sometimes on our bed

she would wake up at usual intervals for feeding but somehow we never managed the feed while lying down so I would sit up, but we would both fall back asleep

in the following months we we brought 'bedtime' forward with bedtime routine of bath dimed lights feeding and settling in cot, usually asleep or very near

• we never really took her out of the room once we started that 'routine'

but she would often end up in our bed over the first year when she had night feeds

all these varied over time, sometimes settling was easy sometimes not so much

as it happened dd stayed in our room until she was 3 and was no longer breastfeeding (stopped 2.5, not nights)

she settled well in her room and has been a reasonably good sleeper since about 10months but obviously with exceptions

I have to say that my experience is very similar to Teapots above - DS was an AMAZING sleeper until he was around 3/4 months, when he got ill and I slept with him for a few days - he started waking hourly for feeds and carried on even when he was better. I then couldn't get him back into his moses basket as he'd outgrown it, and he never slept as well in his cot. He is now 10 months, and although he goes through good and bad patches, this week (and often) he has exactly the same sleep pattern as your 10 week old! This is coming from a baby who slept 9-7 aged 6 weeks!

BUT I do love sleeping with him - it's lovely in so many ways - we have a cot plus double bed arrangement in his room, and a seperate double bed for me and DH in our room.
However, I think the time has come for him to sleep on his own more- actually I'm really sorry to hijack the thread a bit but Teapot13 could you tell me how you did the transition with your DD? Many thanks! And good luck RaisingMrC - I don't think anything is irreversible :)