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Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

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Original poster

I did something ...

16 replies

Kirstie76 · 08/09/2005 15:49

Hi there,

This is my first post so I don't know if I'm doing it right ... sorry if I'm not!

I gave birth to Rafferty on 19 July. We came home from hospital and he slept 3 hours in a morning and 3 in an afternoon, went to bed at 7:30 and woke for feeds only.

However somehow I seem to have broken this amazing skill of his.

Last night he woke at 9 from going down at 7:30 and today he's only slept 1 1/2 hours this morning and has cried all afternoon.

I just wondered if he needs that afternoon sleep- if I just think he does and so am creating stress for me and him then I'll stop worrying ...

How can I get the little boy that I brought home back?

Kirstie

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

tortoiseshell · 08/09/2005 15:51

Sounds like he might be having a growth spurt - they do this, just when you think you're in a routine! Just keep feeding him! He also may not need quite so much sleep - my two never had a morning sleep, from being tiny they just slept in the afternoon.

Don't worry though! They do keep changing!

Original poster

Kirstie76 · 08/09/2005 15:59

I don't mind him being awake but i could do without the crying!!

He seems to want to be held all the time but he's so warm .... i've stripped him to his nappy today and he's still warm to touch ... he's fed 3 times since 12 ...

My sister says he's spoilt but i hate to hear him cry ...

OP posts:

bundle · 08/09/2005 16:01

you cannot spoil such a young baby, that's ridiculous. they change all the time, my girls never got the hang of daytime sleeping until around 8 mths when they went to nursery. trust your instincts and feed/put down for a sleep when you think your child is hungry/tired.

Yanka · 08/09/2005 16:43

I think it sounds entirely normal - some babies tend to be easier and sleep more the first few weeks after they are born (at least our lo was that way and many of my friends confirm this) As their awake time lenghtens, they become more unpredictable with their sleeping patterns. It isn't anything you did - they just change all the time. 6 weeks is also supposed to be the time when they get more fussy before they finally get better.
Good luck and hang in there - thing will get better

Original poster

Kirstie76 · 08/09/2005 17:01

I thought perhaps because people came to visit and wanted to hold him (me included) that we'd made him think sleeping was bad ..... made him oversensitive - I think perhaps I've been reading too much baby whisperer though - hand the manual back to the girl that leant it to me time perhaps ....

OP posts:

bundle · 08/09/2005 17:03

too much stimulation can be counterproductive, imo, why not try a routine where you give him a feed in his bedroom with the curtains drawn, and pat his tummy when you put him down for a few minutes?

Original poster

Kirstie76 · 08/09/2005 17:06

Thanks bundle, i'll persist with that i think - see where it leads ...

OP posts:

Passionflower · 08/09/2005 17:36

Sack baby whisperer and switch to Gina Ford

Original poster

Kirstie76 · 08/09/2005 18:15

isn't gina ford really strict to routine though?

OP posts:

Nightynight · 08/09/2005 18:56

yes she is, and has been the subject of many wars on mumsnet in the past.

my babies changed their habits many times during the first year, you just have to try and guide them to sleep at nights and remember that nothing lasts for very long at that age.

Original poster

Kirstie76 · 08/09/2005 19:18

I think i'm going to sack all the so called guru's and go back to my instinct ... and advice from mumsnet!

Have just put ds in his cot -so far so good - he's not crying!!

OP posts:

Original poster

Kirstie76 · 08/09/2005 21:22

30 minutes longer than last night so far!!!

OP posts:

EvesBigFatMama · 08/09/2005 21:28

trust yourself as a mum

i have taken dd to docs saying she's not well and i think its her throat, only to be looked at in that way and packed off..i then have to return in the next few days regretfully to say i told you so as dd has throat/ear infection and needs anti biotics

if he seems unwell..make an appointment for a check over.

if he seems ok, just unsettled, try feeding more.

unfortunatly, they 'do' do this

newmumhelp · 08/09/2005 22:04

I would say go with your instinct. I got myself so caught up in routine etc from reading all these books, that i was stressing myself out with it all, and making ds worse. ds is 10 weeks old now, and i remember people telling me that he'll find his own routine...and i also remember thinking that would NEVER happen, but it does. Mine must only be 3 weeks older than yours, but they change so much, so quickly. Ds still has days when he crys all day, but you soon forget those days. Ds is smiling all the time now, so he only needs to give mummy a smile, and the 4 hours crying i've just heard seems to be a very distant memory!!

saadia · 08/09/2005 22:47

Definitely trust your instinct, such a tiny baby cannot possibly be spoilt. He will develop a routine but give him time. With ds1 every day was different he didn't seem to follow any pattern but eventually fell in to a vague routine, whereas with ds2 there was more of a pattern from a younger age.

I just let them follow their own timings but I think Baby Whisperer is right in saying that you have to try and learn to interpret babies' cries.

karmamother · 08/09/2005 23:22

Kirstie, when my DS was born I found this amazing book called "Why Babies Cry". Sadly I lent it someone, never got it back & I can't find it on Amazon.

Basically it detailed the findings of a Dutch survey into the development of babies up to a year old. It discovered that as well as physical growth spurts (which you can obviously see) babies also have psychological growth spurts (which you may not pick up).

There were about 10-ish of these spurts in the first year & they tend to happen at the same time in most babies. I think the first one is at 4 weeks, the second at 9 weeks. I can't remember them all...it was 8 years ago! So, what happens at each stage is that your baby's brain makes a "leap" in its cognitive ability & new stimuli are able to be processed leading to new skills. For example, at 9 weeks babies are able to see shadows cast on a wall from sunlight. During the 2 weeks prior to this "leap", as the brain is acquiring this new skill, a baby will find these changes to his perception distressing & unfamiliar. During these 2 weeks, this distress can manifest itself as altered sleeping, feeding, clinginess etc. These signs of distress are different according to the age of the infant.

This is all a very long-winded way of saying that prior to each of these psychological milestones, your baby can be distressed without any obvious cause. This book helped me greatly as it allayed my fears during my baby's crying but it also helped me understand how he was developing mentally & what I could do to help him at each stage.

I wish I could find this book so I could be of more help to you, (& myself as pg with DD)

One final note...of course the alternative is to go with your instinct & never read a self help book. The majority of them can rob you of your self-confidence & ability.

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