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Sleep

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Original poster

A question for those of you with babies who wake (or woke) very often during the night...

21 replies

HeadFairy · 30/09/2010 20:11

do you have any ideas why this was happening? Was it sleep regression that got stuck in a pattern of night time waking or do you think it was to do with seperation anxiety?

dd wakes hourly 4 nights out of 5 (and on those nights she wakes every 2 hours) and someone mentioned to me that it could well be seperation anxiety. I'm just curious to hear from anyone else who thinks their dc suffered from seperation anxiety which caused their night time wakings.

OP posts:

Original poster

HeadFairy · 30/09/2010 20:12

separation

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goodbyedignity · 30/09/2010 20:17

Well, DS has always slept better when we cosleep so I suspect there's an element of truth in it. The only time he doesn't wake in the night is when he's in our bed from the start!

Igglybuff · 30/09/2010 20:21

I don't think it's a pattern as it changes so i assume something different bothers DS. DS went through a funny phase of only settling for me and not DH. He was also clingy in the day. Then he gets over it and sleeps much better.

I've also noticed if DS has his lovey, he can resettle himself. Sometimes he wakes up in the night and calls out. When I go to him, I realise "ducky" is at the other end of the cot of stuck somewhere. If I give him to DS, he'll happily flap him about and go back to sleep (not always mind!). I've also peeked in on him and he has ducky tucked under his arm. So I think some wakings are reassurance - particularly when he's teething or ill.

Original poster

HeadFairy · 30/09/2010 20:25

goodbyedignity, same here, dd has a spare bed in her room and when I sleep in there with her she's much much better. Waking but really briefly and settling instantly.

Igglybuff, that's very interesting, perhaps I should get dd to develop an attachment to a particular teddy to help comfort her in the night, she has got a "doo-doo" she plays with during the day.

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Igglybuff · 30/09/2010 20:29

Yes we just have three small things in the cot and he chose that one. He doesn't play with them in the day so only associates them with bedtime. He doesn't have a favourite in the day interestingly!

thisisyesterday · 30/09/2010 20:29

mine all sleep better wen in with me, so yes, i think there could be a security aspect

NonnoMum · 30/09/2010 20:32

Um, how old DC?

ib · 30/09/2010 20:37

Mine have a radar - the moment I'm even a tiny bit away from them they wake up. Invariably. DS1 is almost 4 and still has this.

Igglybuff · 30/09/2010 20:52

DS is nearly 1.

Original poster

HeadFairy · 30/09/2010 21:04

dd is 9 months. DS never went through this, even with daytime separation. dd isn't too bad during the day but when she's tired or hungry I notice she's more clingy. There are times when I'm trying to prepare tea in the evenings and she's crawling around trying to follow me and she bursts in to such sobs when I move away from her.

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Igglybuff · 30/09/2010 21:05

Head- could she be teething badly? DS gets like that when one is about to cut.

Original poster

HeadFairy · 30/09/2010 21:10

Hmmm I don't think so, she's been doing it for two months now and she settles very quickly, as soon as I pick her up and give her a cuddle. I can get her back in bed within 5 mins usually (I say usually :o), I assume if she was in pain because of teething she wouldn't settle so easily.

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Igglybuff · 30/09/2010 23:49

just a thought that's all! If only they could talk, eh??

Chaotica · 30/09/2010 23:54

With DD, there was always something causing it: she was cold, she was ill, or she was teething (and when we sorted the problem, it went away). With DS, he was hungry (or anxious?) and we co-slept from about the second waking every night, although he went to bed in his own cot which was next to our bed. He slept much better than DD overall (she wouldn't co-sleep).

bippyhippy · 03/10/2010 19:24

For me it was always overtiredness.Lots of night waking when he didn't sleep well in the day. And the dummy too. But he has his sleepytot now so no more dummy waking. Still wakes at night when he doesn't get enough sleep in the day though.

fryalot · 03/10/2010 19:27

with dd2 it's bad dreams but she does deffo sleep better when in with us. She sometimes starts off in her own bed and then crawls in with us when the dreams kick in.

fhutts · 03/10/2010 19:36

How spooky HeadFairy - my DD is 8.5 and I have just posted virtually the same thing just now!!

Original poster

HeadFairy · 04/10/2010 21:06

fhutts, sorry, just coming back to this. I presume your dd is 8.5 months old? My dd seems o be improving slightly, this week she mastered standing unsupported so maybe thats what it was - her brain getting ready for that - because despite having a heavy cold, for the first time in many many monhs she's actually starting to go through to 6am without waking, or if she does wake she's managing to settle herself. Mind you, I've probably just jinxed myself and she'll be awake all night now!!

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fhutts · 05/10/2010 17:55

Yeah she is 8.5 months old! The same as your LO she has just mastered standing by pulling herself up on the sofa, my legs or anything that she can grab hold of, and like you she has suffered a cold! In fact she is still a bit snotty and got a cough, but she doesn't wake because of coughing.

I am exhausted. Last nite she woke at 3.15am and DH went into sush and pat but she rejected that thanks all the same, so I went in an picked her up (horror of horrors I know) but she would not go back, just watched me and kept patting my face.

I thought if I bought her into bed with us she may settle (first time ever I've tried) and she just sat up between us cooing and clapping her hands! In the end I put her back in her own room and had to just leave her to cry. It was horrendous but going back into her just seems to make her worse .

Begining to get us down to be honest. She used to sleep so well at night.

Original poster

HeadFairy · 05/10/2010 19:47

oh fhutts, sorry to hear that. Luckily, touch wood, it appears dd is getting better. Despite cutting another tooth she seems to be going back to her old routine of waking at 3am only and after the three months I've had that's bliss. Only one wake up, she settles pretty quickly if I give her a quick cuddle.

I did read somewhere that if a baby is suffering separation anxiety during the night you should play lots of hide and seek games during the day so they start to understand that when you go away, you will come back. I've been taking every opportunity this week to play hide and seek and peepo, maybe it's paying off!

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InmaculadaConcepcion · 05/10/2010 19:52

My DD (just over 8 mo) has always been a frequent waker. She's now in her own room and doesn't wake (currently) any more often than when she was co-sleeping with us - in fact less.

Having said that, I had to do some teeth-gritting and leave DD protesting after being put down awake a few times, instead of unlatching her once asleep - her sleep has improved since then. (I did this while she was still in with us).

But she still wakes around 3 times per night (previously it was 5 times minimum).

I haven't noticed much difference in her waking patterns linked to development and teething so far. Illness is the only thing that's made her noticeably worse than usual.

The amount of napping seems to only make a negligible difference, too.

She usually feeds back down, but I'm not convinced it's hunger that causes the waking. I think it's partly habit and partly a comfort thing.

She hasn't shown any interest in an artificial comforter as yet.

I think there are as many reasons/combinations of reasons for overnight wakings as there are babies, really!!

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