Desperate fo some sleep

[carrielou2007]

My dd never slept through until almost 12 months and dd is worse.

He is BF, three meals a day and snacks, he's a big lad, 24lbs at 8 months.

Feed before bed at 7-7.30pm, dream feed at 10.30-11pm one of which I have been giving 7oz formula to try to help him sleep through. He still wakes at midnight, 2am, 4am etc.

He woke at 10.30 last night, 1.30am and has now been screaming since about 2pm, it is now 4.30am.

I'm not very good with 'tough love' but think I may need to as I need to get up in two hours and have had no sleep.

I tend to 'shush' and rub his back to reassure him I am here without trying to wake him too much, lying him back down every 5-10 mins or so. I have fed him, changed his bum and gently settled him but he is still screaming with no stopping him. Their dad says I should just leave him which I do not feel is right to do but I can be over an hour doing the back rub etc before he goes back to sleep so maybe I should, I really do not know.

For the last two nights we have got up at 4.30am, he has played happily in the lounge then upstairs in his cot for half hour whilst I shower etc before his sister gets up and we leave for playgroup at 8.30am.

He then has a sleep for about 50 mins or so whilst we walk there and back. He has no other sleeps in the day other than 5 min catnaps (dd was the same) if I take him up to bed he will scream for the whole time. When we walk to get dd from playgroup at 11.30 back at 12.30 you'd think a sleep then but no!!

I have been back at work for about 5 weeks now, he has a tooth the last few days but I can not carry on like this with no sleep and would be grateful for any words of advice to settle us all down. I have no partner who I can share the load with.

Right, that's my five mins up, need to go back upstairs to rub his back/shush him again

Obs as soon as I came in the room he stops when I rub his back but as soon as I start to lie him down he knows and screams. I forot to say I took him to be weihed yesterday so I can check if he needs to go into next stage car seat at my CM and talked about his sleep/non-sleep. She just said make sure he eats in the day, he should not wake from hunger in the night it is down to me and I should not feed him. Thanks, that' really helpful

you poor thing - lack of sleep is a real killer, isn't it?

your CM was unhelpful - there is no "should" about babies, they are all different.

He may well be hungry or more likely thirsty in the night, so if he wants to feed, then you should let him.

I'm afraid the only thing I can advise is co-sleeping. It often works, and at this stage, you should be doing anything that works...

some people will say it will become a habit etc. but you just need to get more sleep for the moment. A few weeks down the line, he may be happily sleeping in his cot again.

good luck! hope he goes back to sleep for a bit now...

Aw, thanks, he is still screaming away upstairs I have to get up in just over an hour now, will look a right hag later

I've always co-slept as dd never slept in moses basket, better in her cot, ds is still in a cot in my room. I do wait until he has had a drink and is asleep being putting him back in his cot then he wakes ist starts again. I mostly fall asleep with him in my bed but really try not to as I am so tired I don't wanthim rolling out of the bed and crawling over to the stairs (my room is at top of the house) as I can't shut the stairgate in case my dd comes up in the night.

I did text their dad at about 3am just to say he was still not asleep and not to come over as we will all be having an early night tonight in the hope it would wake him )evil alert!!) but not a peep from him.

Ooh gone a bit quiet - just going to creep up the stairs...

That's a long time to be screaming. Is he ill or massively overtired?

My DS was a terrible sleeper. It got better at 6 months, regressed with introducing solids (he has reflux and dairy intolerance) then better at 9 months. At nearly 1, we're down to one night waking unless somethings up.

I'd ditch the formula if I were you- it's harder to digest so could be causing tummy trouble and wind.

He could be going through seperation anxiety so best to respond quickly to him when he wakes. As patting isn't working, try picking up and gently jigging to see if there's wind. When he calms down, put him down. If he doesn't calm down, feed or rock back to sleep. It abounds like he's getting more wound up - which will make him more tired and less likely to sleep.

By CM do you mean child minded? Get them onside to tackle his naps and give him the chance to nap three times a day. Could be done by sticking in a pushchair and going out in the morning, lunchtime and mid afternoon.

What solids is he being given? Avoid anything likely to cause wind for tea eg green veg, eggs etc. This was the main cause for night wakings when DS was a similar age. Foods like potatoes, sweet potatoes, chicken, rice are much better options for tea than say beans on toast!

How many BF a day does he have? Also put him to bed earlier to make up for lost naps if you can.
I meant to say patting and lying down again is probably winding him up. It did my DS. I used to do it after getting completely fed up but once calmed down realised I was making it worse.

He finally fell asleep, it was just gone 5am. He was so tired as he only had one sleep in the day. He nornally has a sleep on child minder school run/my prescool run, same pick up at lunchtime and a short afternoon nap, he only slept on one of these yesterday.

He stopsthe second I pick him up. I can feed him to sleep, don't really want to, but wakes about half hour later.

He's a champion eater, whatever we have, jacket pot/pasta/quiche etc for lunch, spag bol/shep pie/pasta bake/chicken, pot and broccoli etc bi of a sticklerfor proper home cooked food here

I feel a lot calmer now, he had a sleep on preschool run, he's starting to look a bit tired now so just had a snack and a drink and hope he will nod off getting dd.

So nice to have the support of MN thank you for your help