11 month old wont settle when she has woke up, im so stressed out, any advice most appreciated

[natz23]

i had already posted in the parenting section but thought this topic may be better.
my 11 month old has been waking in the night for the past few weeks, its anywhere from 9 till 3, she wakes up, not upset and just wont go back to sleep for about 2 to 3 hours. just wants cuddled but just lies there awake, we end up bringing her into bed with us and just cuddling her for ages, she sometimes just wants to sit up and climb about and gest annoyed when we put her back down.
im so exhausted she was such a brilliant sleeper.
she is trying to walk just now, could she just be going threw a phase?
i give her milk now to try settle her which seems to work and she starts dozing a bit but soon as its done shes back wide awake again.
whats happened to my good sleeper and what can i do to help this?x

Hey. Hard lines on this one. Remember our little'un having a similar spell as she started walking. Here's a few thoughts - every baby (and parent) is different though, so this sure aint gospel.

• If you don't want her sleeping in your bed to become habit then probably best to stop this asap. You might find that it just gives you another issue to get over once you have dealt with the matter in hand. Realise that at 3 in the morning bed is where you want to be, but you may just need to bite the bullet.

• What is her bedtime routine? We do ItNG & milk, bath, 5 minute play, story then bed. When we've had wake-ups like you're describing we generally take her back to a point in the routine and start again. We've only had to bath her again once. She seems to realise then that its time for bed and it helps to calm her down. To be honest, turning on the lights and reading a story etc. actually helps me relax as well. (p.s. we don't let her watch ItNG in the middle of the night though as we reckon it could just get her going again).

• I've found that the more you try and force sleep on a kid who doesn't want to then the longer it'll take you to get them down. Its more about persuading them gently that they need a snooze. You know your kid best, so won't suggest how you do this. Also realise that being gently persuasive is difficult when you're bloody knackered!

Hope that's some help. I really don't think this is unusual - very normal in fact, but that obviously doesn't make you feel better right now. All the best tonight.

thanks deepheat, ill try the going back with the routine.
what we normally do is bath bottle in her bedroom with a cuddle, then we cuddle till she drops off which is normally about ten minutes, then she goes into her cot.
should i try taking her out and reading her a story with some more milk?
people have suggested (friends, family) the controlled crying. just letting her cry it out.
it worked actually but she developed a huge seperation anxiety i couldnt leave the room at all during the day without her screaming, i even had to take her to toilet with me!!
when we stopped it she was happy again. so i dont want to go through that again,
ill maybe just try reading her s story, little milk and a cuddle, and just hold her instead of taking her into our bed,
did try that a bit last night but i was holding her for about half an hour and my arm was dead!! but i guess i just got to bite the bullet and stick with it.
ill try the re doing the routine tonight.
thanks for the good advice xx

I'm no expert- but one thing jumps out at me from your last post. You say that at bedtime you cuddle her then put her down asleep. I reckon this could possibly be an issue. If you can help her to self settle at bedtime then she may do it when she wakes in the middle of the night. Put her down awake but sleepy after her bottle. There are a variety of methods you can then use to help them self-settle- pick up/put down, stroking/patting, leaving the room then returning to comfort her if she starts crying etc. Whatever you feel comfortable with- you don't have to let her cry it out.

Worth a pop. It's easier to try things at bedtime than at 3am after all!

definatley true, ive been reading about the pick up put down method, will maybe give that a try, she does go down really easy at bedtime, even if she is awake still i lay her down and put my hand on her back and she drops off.
its just during the night shes so wide awake! and totally full of energy, she dosnt seem tired at all