Settling newborn at night

[ExistentialistCat]

I feel a bit daft asking this because this is my second daughter, but I just can't remember how we did it with our first (and she's only 14 months old)!

DD2 is a week old. So far, we've only been able to settle her to sleep at night if she sleeps next to one of us or goes to sleep on DH's chest (he seems to be better at this than I am, presumably because he doesn't smell of milk).

I really, really don't want to cosleep. I admire people who can do this but it just isn't for me.

What I would like to be able to do is to settle DD2 in her crib (which is right up against the side of our bed) after a feed and for her to sleep there until she next needs feeding. I know this is possible because we did it with DD1 but I wonder whether it makes a difference that she was ff whereas I'm managing to bf DD2 so far. HV?MW suggested that bf babies should co-sleep and I feel so strongly about not wanting to do this that it's making me question bf'ing altogether...

Any tips?

have you tried swaddling her before putting her in her bed? Where does she normally sleep?

Yes, tried swaddling. She seems to quite like it. The idea is for her to 'normally' sleep in her crib, in which we've made a sort of nest with a rolled-up blanket so it feels cosier (a tip we picked up from hospital). In practice, she usually sleeps next to or on one of us and occasionally we feel brave enough to decant her into the crib but she usually starts fussing quite quickly when we do.

Sooooooooooo tired......

Somewhere I saw advertised a weighted blanket - is meant to help babies settle - no idea if it works or is safe...

My 4 week old DS hates being put into his crib (next to me) and cries and cries but rocking and patting him (whilst still in the crib) seems to sooth him a bit rather than picking him up which just wakes him up. We also give him formula last thing at night so his tummy is fuller. But as everyone keeps telling me, 4 weeks is very young still....so a week is no time at all.

have you tried letting her snuggle in the clothes you have worn that day ie a t shirt or scarf so that it smells comforting?

Not much to add but just to say I've also only got 14 months between my dc2 and Dc3 and we also forgot how we did some of those all important things (like getting them to sleep).
It WILL get easier and it is so fun seeing them together now...

I did a worse job of getting DS2 to go to sleep than I did DS1. We ended up cosleeping although I never wanted to.

But before that we tried ........
wrapping crib mattress in my tshirt rather than sheet.
rolled up towels to wedge him in so he feels secure
swaddling but those special swaddling are useless
warming the sheet with a hot water bottle before we put him down so it's not too cold

God I sound like a crazy lady don't I

You don't sound crazy at all, ranty - I've tried all of those things so we must be sane!

I'm just going to persevere as best I can with settling DD2 in the crib. It's tepting to just pull her into bed beside me so we get some sleep but I know I'm too dopey to cosleep safely at the moment...

Deep breath: This too shall pass.