He's 4 and still doesn't sleep well. I REALLY need some help - suggestions please?

[KirstyandDarcy]

Hi there
Thinking of getting a 'sleep nanny' for my 4yr old DS who repeatedly wakes for 4 hours in the night.

He settles beautifully at bed time and doesn't seem to be experiencing night terrors but wakes often at 1/2am shouting for us.

We have tried going in and soothing (which sometimes works) and at other times leaving him and using the 'shut door' technique but he's banging on the walls and slamming his door waking the neighbours too.

I don't know what to do and need your advice please mummies. Should I get sleep trainer in/use Millpond's advice service (at £250) or does anyone know of someone who could help in the Cambridge area?

I'm at the end compleatly of my short teather and can't see a way out.

Thanks, K

what is his "normal" bedtime routine?

Have you asked him why he is waking up?

His normal bedtime routine is bath/shower, story and bed, calm and relaxed. He's great at going to sleep in the first place though.

We have asked why he wakes up and he says "I don't know" and of coursse, if we suggest something to him he picks up on that like "did you have a bad dream" or something.

We're really at our whit's end and don't know what to do!

HELP!!

Does he need LESS sleep - ie put him to bed later?

what time does he go to bed? What time does he wake in the morning. Could anything be worrying him?

Have you tried a night light or a "star chart"?

My youngest went through a stage of coming into my room in the middle of the night and telling me he'd had "a bed dream". He then wanted to come into my bed!

I would take him back to his room and turn on his light slightly and told him he would be fine. I also bought him a "dreamcatcher" to hang over his bed.

It worked! No more bad dreams. He is 6 so slightly older that your ds

There is a suggestion at the end of the original book The No Cry Sleep Solution (There's a new version for toddlers as well which might have more good suggestions in) which is that you make a little story book or a poster - go through the bedtime routine first, every stage. So goodnight, teeth, wee, pyjamas, story, kiss, light off, sleep.

After this you add an extra few pages/boxes on the chart. "If DS wakes in the night, he can
Drink some water from his cup
Have a wee in the potty
Hug his teddy bear
Think of a bedtime story in his head
Watch his light show/listen to his music box
Snuggle down under the covers
Sleep

etc etc - think of some things with him. (Last one should always be sleep again)

Last page of book/square on poster is "Morning! Time to get up"

The idea is you make the book or poster with them with symbols or photographs and then read it every night before they go to sleep, and they know what is expected of them if they wake up.

Thanks so much for the suggestions BertieBotts, had thought I would order that book from Amazon so if there's a toddler version even better!

Paula, darcy already has a dreamcatcher and we regularly use a star chart and the Sleep Fairy. He's bushed when he gets to bed at 7pm and wakes about 6.30am which is fine with us. It's just the 2/3/4 hours he's awake in the night that's the problem! he has a nightlight (quite bright which is what he wants).

He does seem worried sometimes but doesn't seem to know why.

Aaaggghhh!! So frustrating. He's always been a rubbish sleeper and with our 2nd on the way I really want to get this sorted before!

Keep the suggestions coming - I'm open to anything!