Nightmare sleeper - nearly 6 months

[Gargula]

Hi,
I don't know whether I'm writing for advice or just a rant!!
My daughter is an absolute nightmare for sleeping - for naps or at night! Until recently I carried her in a sling for every single nap - but this was getting too much so I decided to knock this on the head. But every nap is a struggle. If I put her in the cot, I'll stay with her through about 15 mins of real, distressed crying until she falls asleep for all of 20 mins! I'm really scared i'm psychologically damagine her by doing this but there seems to be no other way.
She will sometimes fall asleep in car or pushchair but this is not predictable and again for only about 30 mins.
At night I feed her off to sleep and hold her downstairs with me until myself and husband go to bed - she then sleeps on my husbands chest until waking about 4ish, and then is on/off book until wake up time of about 6.
If she is not on myself or my husband she will wake every flaming hour.
I'm beginning to really hate this situation - I have no evening or intimacy with my husband any more.
What can I do????
[sobs quietly to myself]

Hi

Poor you, you have my total sympathy as DD1 was almost identical to your DD. It does pass, but not overnight. There's still so much going on at 6mths it's almost impossible to know if it's just her need to be that close, if it's development, a growth spurt, teeth, something else...

If you're with her for 15 minutes of serious distress, might it not be less stressful for you both to just feed her to sleep for a nap lying down and you have a much-needed kip too? It might even get her to sleep longer. And weirdly, better daytime sleep can lead to better nighttime sleep and vice versa. Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? No quick fixes but might give you a couple of ideas to try to start to work towards getting you a bit of time back. Sometimes just doing something pro-active can make you feel better about a situation.

I really understand your feelings about evenings and lack of intimacy. Would you LO stay asleep if you went to a (child-friendly) pub or to a friends' house for the evening? I know you'd still be attached to a limpet-like baby but at least you'd be doing something that looked like a social life! Or do you have older children too?

Hope tonight is just a teeny bit better.