sleep getting worse and worse :-(

[Murl]

my 7.5 month old daughter has never slept through the night but used to just wake for a feed and then go straight back to sleep (apart from for about a 1 - 2 wk period when she had 2 bottom teeth coming through).

However, she now wakes every hour at night. Goes to bed at 6.30pm and gets up about 6.30am. She settles fairly well when going to bed but then wakes so many times throughout the night. I am lucky to get a 2 hour chunk of sleep. She sometimes settles with just a reassuring hand on her tummy, but other times she needs lots of comforting before going back to sleep - only to wake up again within the hour.

Is this just teething? If it is then I can cope with it (knowing what is causing it), but I am constantly doubting myself that I have created this situation by never leaving her to cry (can't do it) and giving her cuddles when she is very unsettled rather than just comforting her while keeping her in her cot.

What I am worried about is that I have created this myself- but then the more rational part of me (when I am not too tired to be rational!) says this is probably just teething and it will pass - but it has been going on for weeks, with only the odd night or 2 when I just have to get up once to feed her (which in my book is a very good night!).

I am so tired and although I am feeling ok about things this morning I know that come this evening I will be feeing upset and rubbish all over again.

Sorry for the ramble. What do you reckon - teething or a habit of bad sleeping?

Is she in her own room? I found my DD (and me) sleep better now she is in her own room as we were disturbing eachother's sleep.

She is 6.5 months now, and some nights she wakes often and it was definitley teething, but now both bottom ones are through she is back to twice a night between 7.30pm(ish) and 7.30am(ish)

SOmetimes she wakes in the night, or cries out at least, but often if I wait and listen for a few mins, she will go back off herself. I think when she was in our room I was going to her too quickly and not giving her the chance to do it herself.

I do feel for you as I know how tough frequent waking are... but hopefully things will settle down soon.

HTH

Thanks curly. She is in her own room and has been since 3 months. I do leave her when she cries initially as on VERY RARE (!) occasions she has settled herself, but much more usual is escalating from the initial murmurings to full on crying and screaming!

Thank you though, your kind words do help! and I keep telling myself it is just the teeth...!!

Ok so last night.. bed at 6.30pm, awake at 7 -easily settled. Awake at 8 - easily settled. Awake at 9 - easily settled. Awake at 10.15 - would not settle, lots of screaming ended up giving a bottle (at 11pm)which she drained. Awake at 3 and took ages to settle but eventually slept till 5.30am at which point I put her in to bed with me (otherwise she tends to be wide awake and want to play if I try and settle her post 5am). She slept till 6.45am. This was an average night although others have been worse with more wakings.

I feel this is really bad for 7.5 month old - but is it? Should I just accept this is what having a baby is all about. I get so disheartened when other mums all tell me theirs are sleeping through or only waking once for a feed. If only! I really worry I have been doing something wrong to cause such unsettled sleeping?? perhaps I just need to get a grip....

Heya Murl. Firstly, don't start thinking this is 'really bad for a 7.5 month old.' There isn't good or bad - all kids are different, they all sleep differently - there is just easy, difficult and really bloody difficult. When you start calling it bad is when you start blaming yourself, which you seemed to be on the verge of in your first post.

Personally, I don't think that you have 'created' this situation by never leaving her to cry. You can read enough other posts by people who have left their little'uns to cry who are now worried that they may have created problems themselves. The bottom line is you do what you think is best for your kid and you also need to do what you can manage. If you're already completely knackered then I think the emotional impact of leaving her to cry might just be too much for you. And that's fine. You might also find that it makes things worse. There's always an instinct to blame yourself, but ultimately you are the best mother your daughter could have and there is no-one better placed to make these decisions.

This could be teething, it could be a transition. Could be loads of things. One bit of practical advice which you can take or leave: If you find something that works, e.g. the bottle in your second post, then next time don't bother waiting 45 mins to give it! You might buy yourself a little pillow time.

Sorry for the lack of suggestions etc. Babies just do these things, it knackers us out and we end up feeling rubbish about everything, including ourselves, which is never great.

thanks deepheat. I think I do need to have a word with myself and not feel so bad about things! But as you say, its just hard when you are so tired. A better night last night so feeling lots better, and will try and remember that not every night is a difficult night! thanks again.

As a mother and therapist I find many sensitive children and adults have disturbed sleep because of WiFi. So it's good to keep your baby's cot is as far as poss from any router, and turn the WiFi off as soon as you have finished with it at night. There are other easy - and not expensive - things you can do to have wired connections for broadband instead of wifi .... or even to protect your home from your neighbour's wireless. Websites like Healthy House give you a lot more information.

agree with deepheat she might be hungry. So try the bottle first as easier to rule out. You wont create a habit - my DS goes through phases of night feeds then all of a sudden stops. The silliest thing like not eating enough in the day or a growth spurt will get him hungry.

At that age, my DS woke loads. Sometimes he'd wake less, sometimes more. Only after 9 months once fully established on solids did he stop. Although saying that, he was ill last week and back to 2 hourly wakings.

Ignore your friends who say their little one is sleeping through.

Other thing - is she learning to roll/crawl? that can seriously mess up sleep as they start moving in their sleep and wake up a bit confused.

God its awful isnt it, mines always been a crappy sleeper but she would go through some nights like that and I would be at the end of my tether wondering what the hell was happening, then a tooth would emerge a few days later. At this age my daughter had them popping out left right and centre.
Have you tried ashdon and parsons powders? I found them really great, as a supplement to calpol etc. Do you have ambesol / bonjela?? If it just continues with no sign of teeth, then don't beat yourself up about it, some kids just aren't zonk out for the night sleepers. It doesn't really help to hear this, but it will get better x And you do get better at coping with it.
You have my fullest sympathy, as someone who has been there with friends with apparently amazing sleepers you can really torment yourself x Ignore them. I second the roll / crawl stuff as well, massive developmental leap stages always upset them.
Hang on in there.

Thanks guys your words have made such a difference! A little reassurance goes a long way x

Murl - your story is very familiar. We have a 7 month old DD who wakes frequently in the night and has done for weeks now. We still feed at 11pm. She moves so much when she's trying to get to sleep but is not quite crawling yet. Like you, sometimes it takes ages to settle her, sometimes not so long with a gentle hand on her back...VERY occaisionally she has settled herself quite quickly.
Anyway, I know what you're going through.
2 things which might help:

1. put a blanket over her - she is in a growbag but I think she likes the weight and comfort of a blanket too. (tucked in obviously)

2)Try to give her more milk and solids during the day to cut out the 11pm feed - I have heard that this can disrupt their digestive systems etc when they are over 6/7 months.

Hope the situation improves for you soon.
:)

I've just posted about this on another thread. My dd is 7.5 months and has slept like this since birth. We started co-sleeping at 4 months cos I was a wreck. It helped, but wasn't a good, long-term solution.

I've talked about what we did on a thread called '...at wit's end'. Essentially, we very, very slowly built up to controlled crying (which I swore I'd never do).

First, we moved her into her cot, but we slept in her room with her and brought her back to sleep with us from 2a.m. Then we started putting her in the cot all night.

There were tears for this, but we were with her all the time, never letting her get too distressed.

That worked and it got her sleeping in her cot and going to bed at 7. (We had previously kept her up with us, as settling her took 2 hours and used the whole of our evenings.)

Once she was sleepign in her cot, the major task was to stop her waking all the blinkin time. She would wake at least every hour. I considered it a good night if I'd had one stretch of 2 hours.

So last night, with much trepidation, we did controlled crying. To my surprise, it was fine. I stayed with her in her room for the first five minutes. She was whinging, but not properly crying. Then I soothed her, left, and came back in two minutes. I then did two stretched of five minutes and one of 7, by which time she was asleep.

I made it my policy never to let her get too upset. If I thought she was heading towards not coping, I went in.

We did this whenever she woke in the night. She only woke twice.

This whole process has taken a month.