Laying awake...... doing my own head in!

[HelenEmjay]

I laid there last night, dragging stuff up that happened years ago and winding myself up about it, how something my mum did last year annoyed me and i should have dealt with it better, beating myself up about how i let my step-dad say some stuff about me and i never stuck up for myself, i go over nad over finances in my head - we dont have any major finacial problems but i aly there and stew over them anyway! - i even laid there at 5am the other morning going through loan rates and repayments on a magazine i had left up there! eventually i get to sleep but sometimes it takes me hours! am i loosing the plot or what? i made myself so mad last night about dp, he did something to annoy me and i ended up having some long row with him in my head! - i really felt stressed out afterwards and then when i saw him i completley blew him out! - he must think im a right nutter! i know i do! this cant be normal behavior right?

Well I think it is normal behaviour if you have a lot of stressful stuff going on in your life. I certainly do this anyway! I refuse to lay there getting wound up - try getting up and making a hot drink, read a book, listen to the world service on the radio - anything to distract you. Eventually you will fall asleep!

I normally go down stairs now when this happens and make a cammomile tea(NO STIMULANTS), read a bit of my book and then go back up. There is nothing worse than the experience you describe. I think the trick is to stop it forming into a pattern.

Hmmm thats a good idea, i do seem to have ALOT of stuff going on at the moment, nothing major - well exept for having a baby on monday, so i might make myself a cup of horlicks tonight! it works for my little boys! im am glad you do it too (dont mean that in a bad selfish way!) to laying there going over stuff from a year ago just seems loopy! my dp thinks i need assessing - rat bag!

ooh I didnt realise you were expecting , hmmm I think that might be playing with your normal sleep cycle may be, bless. I think its very normal to ruminate like this b4 birth. Sounds like yuor just making sure everythings in place , metaphorically speaking. By going down stairs and not allowing yuor brain to do what its doing then yuo are helping to stop the behaviour. There are other techniques my hypnotherapist taught me if you want me to pass them on???

Cammomile tea? wow i havent had that for years! hmmm, i may have to get some of that! it is a horrible habit to get into so i need to find a way of stopping, i just go to bed and im laid there tying myself into knots - i just start it without even realising it! i hope im not loosing my bloody marbles - i hope its not making me a crappy person to know!!! what if im like that in the day and i dont know it? id be gutted if people thought i was a right miserable cow and i didnt realise!

OOh yes pass em' on!! help! i feel like a nutcase!

Think of a favourite colour, concentrate on the shade. Is it light dark , translucent, opaque. Imagine this colour is seeping in to you from yuor feet up or from head down. Imagine what the colur is doing : is it calming, relaxing , soothiing. I often think of a transulcent aqau blue or a warm orange that floats like a smoke, but yuo can choose what makes you feel good. concentrate on it filling you up via each limb and as it does yuo feel more into relaxation. when you get to the top or the bottom imagine it moving all around you. From this point you can then imagine a favourite place/ vista/ imaginary or real. Imagine being in this place and how it makes you feel. See things there that you love, be it flowers, animals, landscapes anything really. I have several imaginary places. It takes a bit of practise and sometimes a nice soothing cd will help get you there too. The best time I find to do this is after a bath lit with candles as you have already started the process. If you wake up again still during the night, go and get that hot drink and a 15-20 read , go up and start the process again. HTH , Im having to use these tehcniques again myself , as a bit stressed right now.

Wow! that does sound very relaxing melsy! i will try that tonight! having a c-section on monday and am dreading the spinal before, so i will see if that helps then too!! not very good at taking myself 'away' from situations so will have to practice i think - quickly!

It is a good technique for getting to sleep/simple meditation & in stressful situations , but I forgot to add that its very important to be concious of yuor breathing whislt doing this. Best thing is to have your hands on yuor lower chest area and on inhale fill up/blow that area out like a balloon(although you will most probably be that way anyway !!!!) and on exhale let it all go.

I hope Im explaining this ok ?

I shud practise what I preach later , as Im a ball of anxiety too at mo.

It might just be stress but keep an eye on them after the birth (not straight away cos we all get the baby blues in the first weeks)but in the months after it may be a sign/symptom of PND. Don't want to worry you but it's best to catch it early. Good luck for Monday!

Thanks melsy! i tried it last night and it did help, i have crap concentration so i think im going to have to practice, it was hard trying to stop my mind wandering off to stressful things!
monkeytrousers - thanks im going to need it i think! i did have PND when i had my first son 5 years ago and itwas made worse when i had my second son 2.5 years ago so i am going to be very very vigilant about any ongoing 'blues' i have, i dont want to be negative but im preparing myself for getting it again - id be very surprised if i didnt!

Glad it helped HE. How was lastnight? Im going to be thinking of you now , especially with Monday xxxxxxx. What a shame with the PND both times.

You are right , it is hard for the mind NOT to wande, but the mind can only have ONE thought at a time, we have just taught ourselves to let many thousands co in and out in a very short space of time. We need to unlearn this to relax better. Ive read you need to acknowledge that and let any thoughts just come in and pass through otherwise it will persist if you try and push it away. It is a practised technique, and needs to be done several time in short bursts through the day. I was taught to just get my breathing focused 1st by doing a batch of focused breathing 6-7 times a day. I had post it notes all over the house to remind me!!!! So every time I saw a breath post it I had to stop put my hand on my chest and do some of the deep breathing. It is possible to make these techiniques habit, as it takes 7 days or so of repetitive behaviour to make it feel more natural. So youll be well on yuor way by babys birth day!!!

don't know if you're into natural remedies but "white chestnut" bach flower remedy is formulated for repetative thought cycles also rescue remedy is a must. I like to buy my rescue remedy in spray form. I have to confess before having my ds I was quite a smoker and tippler so I think the ritual of taking these remedies really helps me to relax