Does your 0-6 month baby actually go to sleep on his own in cot or am I chasing a myth

[sanfair]

Does anyone have a young baby who goes to sleep on his/her own in his cot when put down (awake or sleepy but not asleep)?

Mine won't sleep unless in sling/in pram on rough path/fed to sleep and then only if I'm lucky.

Putting him in the cot (even when sleepy) just leads to gradual squawkiness and then outright screaming no matter how much ssh/pat or pu/pd I do.

I keep seeing threads asking how to get baby to sleep and am wondering if babies actually going to sleep in their own bed is just a myth.

Im with you in that my ds (11 weeks) does NOT go down sleepy, although I have noticed sometimes he'll go in his moses basket asleep for the night, wake an hour or so later but not cry and just eventually drifts back off, so technically he can self settle just not every time.

How old is your ds?

He's 15 weeks and finally asleep (woohoo!), after much crying, a whole bottle and finally a walk in the sling. He rarely naps more than 1/2 hour though.

At night, he's fine though. Wakes a few times for a feed but back to sleep with no problem.

I suppose I shouldn't complain. I'd rather have a good night sleeper and bad day sleeper than the other way around.

yes ds2 does. i do let him cry a bit as he settles although often he doesn't do that just talks to himself...he cries when he is totally knackered and picking him up doesn't help at that point only thing to do is let him have a short scream (i'm usually right by his cot at this point). he's 8 weeks. he's just settled himself in his chair (flat) to sleep for a nap.

i am less super responsive than I was with ds1 and i think that's part of it. also i co-slept for first few weeks but then we went on hols and the bed wasn't big enough so he went into own cot at night early.

he's 8 weeks old. however he is restless in small hours (see other thread) so it's all swings and roundabouts

ds didn't but dd does, which is great with a toddler around.

she does have a habit of waking at 2am tolay though.

Hi Sanfair. I am the mother of three boys. I used the controlled crying method with all my kids from six weeks. Can put my hand on heart and say it works. It is very hard for the first night (I think more for the mum than the baby) but for each of them it only took three nights and "bingo" they had no problem going to sleep on their own. I can say hand on heart that I can count on one hand the number of times I was up at night with sons one and two. Third son was very big (5.5kg) at birth and would wake at 1:00am hungry for the first 6 months. He would feed and go straight to sleep. Once he was on solids he slept through like the other two. All well adjusted teenagers now so no long term affects. Also to help adjust to cot I put the moses basket with baby in the cot for a month before trying baby in cot on its own (worked for me). Hope this helps , worth a try?
P.S. Enjoy every moment they grow so quickly

DS1 never really did - we tackled it with controlled crying at 18 months old (before that he used to fall asleep on our bed with me next to him and then we moved him into the cot) and it worked but somehow, things deteriorated when he moved into a bed and we now have to lie with him till he goes to sleep again - he is 4.2 He is more than capable of going to sleep by himself but chooses not to and just runs around. Me and DH opted for the easy option of spending 10 mins upstairs with him each night or spending 60 minutes of shouting, threatening etc!

DS2, otoh, is an absolute angel with sleeping. He has always fallen asleep wherever he is and from about 3 months old, I was putting him upstairs at night awake and he would fall asleep quite happily. Still does (he is now 22 mo) and can happily spend over an hour laid in his cot amusing himself before falling asleep. Can't ever remember him crying his cot at all tbh - he just whinges/cries constantly when he is up and about

We discovered using white noise helps. My husband downloaded an application called Ambiance on his iphone which has settle like TV static. Makes him fall asleep within seconds...however he doesn't always stay down, often waking after 20 minutes or so...

My DD went into a cot at 4 weeks, she hated the moses basket, and was self settling by about 8 weeks. It did take some work though, she used to fall asleep being held and wake up as soon as you put her down.

So we did pu/pd, and then used to sit in the room while she moaned (not cried) and then left the room while she moaned. And used to set the mobile off. I had that tune imprinted in my brain for months

Sorry - just read OP again and see it is daytime napping that's the problem. This took me MUCH longer to sort out. I started popping her up for an hour regardless of whether she slept or not. If she was moaning I'd sit in the rocking chair in her room cuddling her, but she didn't leave the room for an hour. Eventually she realised she was stuck there and would nod off. I always took her after her 2nd bottle whenever that was, rather than a specific time. She was about 16 weeks though before I could always get her down.

Sorry, that's a bit of an epic!

Dc2 has slept in cot/Moses basket from day one. He needs a bit of shush and pat sometimes but he's very good .

Dc1 also slept in cot/Moses basket but honestly it wasn't until she was about 4 months old she went down without screaming the house down (and 40 mins of shush and pat oh wait it's feeding time again aaaaaaargh).

I've never done cc but used baby whisperer methods for both, and it worked for both tho dc2 was decidedly easier.

My DD (5 months) has slept in her cot for her naps and night time sleep since she was a couple of months old (before 8 weeks I think we held her or fed her to sleep - whatever worked tbh!). Usually she goes to sleep in there (rather than being held then transferred), but it depends what mood she's in and how tired/overtired she is.

She has a dummy for sleeptime and we usually stroke her, hold her hand or rock her shoulders till she is settled / on the verge of sleep.

If we are out, she sleeps in her pram or a blanket on the floor and I try and make it a bit darker / away from the main fun (ie a quiet corner of the room or put a blanket / muslin over her pram).

But I'm a bit (overly?) fanatical about there being a distinction between sleeptime and awake time as DH has sleep problems and I don't want DD to be the same.

If we are out and about she sleeps in a quiet corner or her pram.

Watching this thread with interest. DS is 5 and half months, will only go to sleep on the boob, for both daytime naps, to go to sleep at night, throughout the night and for comfort. I too am wondering if there is any other option than leaving him to cry, I just don't know if I can do that. The books tell you that they need to learn to self settle, rather than putting them down asleep if you want them to stay asleep where you put them. I don't know if it's the lack of sleep, but short of leaving him to cry, I can't see another way of getting him to sleep on his own. I have tried the No-Cry Sleep Solution but that seems geared up for continuing to co-sleep, not bed to cot transition.

My son is 14 months old and won't drop off by himself. But in my arms he goes pretty quickly!

My own personal decision, FWIW, was to co-sleep at night (easy bfing, baby portable - particularly useful as we moved a lot), and to use either the sling, backpack or pushchair in 'lie-flat' mode for daytime naps. It meant DS was portable, was used to sleeping anyway, we never had to worry about 'getting home for naptime' and now, at 22mo, he's about to drop his last nap anyway.

On a separate point, just to note that CC is not recommended for babies under 12 mo. Their brains do not have the requisite sense of object permanence for them to understand what you are doing in any meaningful way.

Great thread - I was beginning to wonder the same thing myself: is self-settling a myth?

My DS is three months and will go down at night after I feed him, because is absolutely ruined. However naps during the day: he gets tired and yells, I put him on the boob, he goes to sleep for 10 minutes, wakes up and yells, I put him in the sling, he sleeps well for up to 2 hrs, waking every 45 minute cycle and dropping off if I keep moving.

I have tried pu/pd, putting him down drowsy, putting him down earlier, at first tired signs, leaving him to moan, but he soon works himself into a state and throws up on me when I pick him up. (feel awful then).

Once or twice he has dropped off after 10 minutes of moaning, but never now. Shush/pat is hopeless too, sometimes I can gt him to sleep, but he wakes again after 10 or 15 mins, and yells.

I'm with you - seems an impossible mirage, the easy nap.

My DS does settle.....but he does have a dummy(he's 4 months).He's only been going down well in the last month.

I'd like to get rid of the dummy but too scared too!

We got both ours to self-settle, but it took a little while for them to learn. Also we used a dummy for both (until they stopped being able to keep it in), white noise, and DD was swaddled (not DS as he hated it) - I think these things helped. And when they were tiny, watching very carefully and putting them down at just the right moment (when they started yawning) made a big difference.

We also used the Baby Whisperer shh/pat method, or at least variations on this (her method as described in the book doesn't work well if you are putting them down on their backs, so I modified it depending what worked for each of them - rubbing chest instead for example).

It's easy isn't it? You just put them down, let them yell a bit and bingo. 2 hours to yourself to do all the housework.

So says my mother.

Mum to a daytime catnapper

PS She will occasionally self-settle at night which is why I'm not too worried, although I am living in a housework-less hovel.

My DD, 16 weeks, is usually walked up and down with singing til she's sleepy but not asleep (head on my shoulder but not eyes closed) then into crib with a bit of shh/pat if needed. On a good day she can then drift off on her own - on a bad she might need some boob time :).

At night we do a bath routine ending in quiet feed upstairs and music box playing and again into bed sleepy but not asleep (unless its been a very bad day and I'm desperate to get her off!). Then a bit of shh/pat and leave her with music box playing. Usually works (hope I dont jinx it). So I'm not sure if this is quite self settling but she does tend to mostly settle herself again at night unless she wants a feed and goes off well after feeding.

x