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Sleep advice needed for 15wk old

13 replies

TiredofTelford · 22/09/2010 08:41

Hi there, I'm a first time mum, my DS is 15 weeks old and has always been a 'bad' sleeper. He rarely naps during the day, if I'm lucky he'll fall asleep in the car but wake up again after 5 mins when we get home. He won't self-settle for a nap during the day, I can only get him to sleep lying on my lap/chest and then only for 15 - 20 minutes at a time. His sleep pattern at night has always been around his 2 hourly feeds but in the last few weeks this has changed so that he will wake up 45 minutes after the last feed ended, regardless of how long it lasted and how much milk he took. I know he can last a decent amount of time between feeds because he usually sleeps on my DH's chest in the evening from about 9 o'clock on and he usually wakes for his first night feed at about 12:30 (which is about 15 mins after DH puts him in his cot). I'm trying to put in a roputine which see's him in his cot at about 8:30 after bath and feed but he just cries and cries (until he's covered in sweat). The last time I left him to cry for 20 mins (on advice of, and in presence of Health Visitor) he gave himself an umbilical hernia, something I want to avoid happening again! I don't have a problem with him putting on weight - he was 7lb 4 oz at birth and is now 17lb 7oz so I have no worries that sleeping through would be detrimental to his health. I need some advice on how to get him to self-settle and sleep through (or at least wake less often) as I'm really beginning to feel my faculties suffer through lack of sleep! Thanks in advance for any advice you can give.

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tiredpooky · 22/09/2010 16:27

hello, not what u want to hear but my personal opinion is to go with the flow, DD slept on me for naps till 5m then i got her in cot for naps, we coslept (still partly do ) or i'd have gone mad from exhaustion, btw i was so tired by 5m but then it gradually got easier, good luck

TiredofTelford · 24/09/2010 07:15

Thanks tiredpooky, I'll keep crossing my fingers! Don't want to co-sleep though as I know someone who did and her ds stayed there till he was 9!

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seeker · 24/09/2010 07:33

"Thanks tiredpooky, I'll keep crossing my fingers! Don't want to co-sleep though as I know someone who did and her ds stayed there till he was 9!"

This is not what usually happens. Honestly, take him into bed with you. You'll all get more sleep.

He's far too young for a routine or sleep training. Just do whatever you need to do for him and you to sleep. He'll be a completely different person in 4 weeks time!

Oh, and shoot the Health Visitor.

TiredofTelford · 24/09/2010 18:59

Hi seeker! The health visitor also suggested controlled crying and starting ds on solids even though he has just turned 16 weeks (said she had a son on solids by 10 weeks!) so am treating all advice with a large pinch of salt!

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DesperateHousewife21 · 24/09/2010 19:15

Yes def cosleep, Ive tried both co-sleeping and moses basket and the co-sleeping gives me more sleep by far.

My ds sounds exactly like yours wrt sleeping on me etc, hes 11 weeks.

TheSugarPlumFairy · 25/09/2010 20:41

hi, have you considered swaddling? I have never met a baby yet who didn't love to be all snuggled up in a swaddle. if he sleeps well being cradled on your husbands chest then a swaddle may replicate that feeling for him. put a hot water bottle in the basket/crib to warm it up for him before you put him in it so he doesn't notice the temperature change.

HTH. Smile

Mumcah · 26/09/2010 20:46

SOunds like he is very overtired and can't switch off.
My DS is roughly the same age and I put him down for a nap when he's been awake for about 2 hours as he seems to show signs(rubbing eyes,yawning etc).I put him in his bag and off he goes,but he does have a dummy so can't really settle himself without it.

Might be worth trying swaddling although he might be a bit too old for it now.

Maybe keep a muslin or toy down your top for a day or so to give to him for when he has a sleep.

'the books' all say put your baby down to sleep and to settle themselves.Neither of my babies have ever been able to do that!

Pick up/Put down (Baby whisperer) is supposed to be a good method,although it will take alot of time and effort.

He is still very young so things will change but it is worth getting some kind of plan or rough routine going so that HE knows what is going on.

My DS is a huge baby so he's hungry about every 3 hours,He goes to bed at 6-7pm and then we do a dreamfeed and then we don't feed him til the morning.He's never really interested in his morning bottle so I know he's not hungry in the night if he does wake up.

All babies are different however and just cos my baby isn't hungry in the night doesn't mean yours won't be.

curlyLJ · 26/09/2010 21:59

I always found that DD would sleep well in the car but wake as soon as I tried to get her out. As a result, when she was about the age of your DS until about 22(ish) weeks, I changed my strategy and would go for a drive, continue to drive until she was in a dead sleep, park up in a lay-by or car park and either read a book, or recline my seat and have 40 winks myself, for about 45mins to and hour or until she woke up.

This saved my sanity, as she resisted naps in the car or cot like there was no tomorrow. She is now 27 weeks and happily takes naps in her cot (has done for about 4-5 weeks now) and has started to self-settle for the post lunch one (am still working on the morning one, which I still feed her to drowsy for!) so it does get easier. Everyone told me it would and I didn't beleive it ever would, and then suddenly it just did!

As for nighttime sleep, we introduced a bedtime routine at about 8 weeks, so by the time DD was your DS's age she was used to being put in her moses basket. COuld never put her down awake though, always very, very drowsy (she wouldn't have any of the feeding to sleep stuff past about 10 weeks!). DH or I would sit with her and pat/shush until she was asleep - sometimes with some crying, sometimes not, but we always stayed with her until she was asleep.

Hope some of that helps...

curlyLJ · 26/09/2010 22:00

sorry, in paragraph 2 that should say she resisted naps in the pram or cot...

TiredofTelford · 28/09/2010 16:51

Thanks sugarplumfairy. I swaddled him for the first 14 weeks but he got too big and also is still restless and managed to grey the swaddling over his face :-(. That's when I switched to sleeping bags!

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TiredofTelford · 28/09/2010 16:59

Desperatehousewife21 I am not sure about cosleeping as not sure how to do it safely esp as I need fleece throw and winter duvet to sleep in this weather. Have fed him lying down before but he gets bad wind that way and screamed the place down!

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TiredofTelford · 28/09/2010 17:08

Hi mumbai. He does fight sleep during the day (although I got 30 mins this afternoon after a long feed). I tried a version of pick up put down last week but after he cried for 90 minutes dh took him off me! It did have some effect as I have only had one night since where he woke five times, and he slept from 11:30 to 7:15 on Friday night ( but not since!). My ds is above 91st percentile line on growth chart (was on 25th at birth) so he is a hungry baby too and really is hungry through the night. Hoping this will change once weaning starts in two months!

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TiredofTelford · 28/09/2010 17:10

Thanks curlylj it is worth a thought as I could use my drive to park up and see how long he lasts!

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