Rapid return - please help!

[Househunter]

My dd(2.4) has never been a good sleeper but we had a period of a couple of months when she wasn't too bad around the time she turned 2. I had done controlled crying as described in Toddler Taming (going in after 5, 7, 9, etc mintues) prior to her sleep improving. However, she now appears completely resistant to controlled crying and will be up for hours in the middle of the night. I also have a 20 week old dd who is waking every 45 minutes and a dh who works away so I am getting pretty desperate. She is not awful every night but she never sleeps through and when she does wake she can be up solidly between 2 and 5am. She gets up and comes to her door and howls but can't say what is wrong. She has a stairgate across her door and I never let her out of her room. I just return her to bed after asking what is wrong. I then keep returning her without saying anything.

I don't know whether I should be returning her to bed as soon is she gets up (which is straight after I have put her back) or whether it should be more of a controlled crying approach with increasing intervals. Can anyone advise?

Sorry if this doesn't make much sense - am totally exhausted

Anyone??

I'm just feeling so anxious even when she is asleep as I know when she wakes it could take hours to get her back. I keep hearing about little babies who sleep through and remember thinking when dd was at that stage that the sleepless nights would not go on forever. But it tuens out they do....

Hiya may not have any magic answers but didn't want to leave you hanging. What happens when you return her to bed, does she carry on crying? Will she not lay down? Does she want to play?

She screams and acts heartbroken. She calls out 'twinkle star' because she wants her mobile back on. I generally only put it on once then say thats enough. It makes music for about ten minutes and if we are lucky she will go to sleep but often she might be quiet for the ten minutes then start howling again. She stands at her door calling for me. She doesn't want to play and its often hard to work out what on earth she does want.

does she have a dummy? I have taken my daughter off the dummy as she was screaming with it in anyway. In it's place I've got her attached to a teddy saying 'teddy's waiting for you to come to bed' and stuff, and getting her to snuggle back into him if she wakes up in the night.

Also if the mobile is causing problems, I know it's cruel but maybe it's just better to take it away?!

thanks foxy123 I think you may be right. She has quite a few 'props' - a dummy, mobile and comfort teddy. The thing is her little sister has a dummy so I didn't want to take away her dummy until she's a bit older. Have got ourselves in such a pickle though

Tell her dummies are for little babies to help them sleep. It will be quite hard to stop her taking her sister's though won't it! My daughter bit a hole in her dummy and then wouldn't take it again after, you could try piercing a little hole and then she might reject it? I promise you it isn't 1/2 as scary as you would think.. this was only about 3 weeks ago and the dummy is long forgotten...

How old is your dd? I only let her have the dummy for sleep anyway, but I have caught her pinching her little sister's dummy out of her mouth!! yes, we probably need to get rid of the dummy and mobile but I just can't face it at the moment with dd2 being so unsettled and dh not being around. I feel like she needs something to comfort her as she is such a daddy's girl.

My dd is 23 months going on 16 I think! Can't imagine what it's be like to have another little one around it must be so hard... Maybe try getting rid of 1 comforter at a time so it doesn't seem so bad? Good luck! x

it sounds like you are doing all the right things - the aim i would think is to make there be no point in her doing these things - so no reward from her actions. i would think she'll stop doing it of her own accord if it continues to be fruitless.
i would definitely do increasing intervals. with my son we left him as long as possible and eventually he would exhaust himself to sleep. hard i know but it worked and we got our nights back.
i would not change the soothers yet- one step at a time -
good luck

Thanks stinkypants, we tried increasing intervals tonight as she took two hours to settle. I just hope that as the evening was so bad she won't be too awful overnight!