My 9wk old won't sleep in the cot, she won't sleep unless she is in my arms or on my chest help!

[Marzette]

Any advice would be much appreciated. While she is now sleeping for much longer it is only when she is on her mine or my husbands chest. I am a bit worried about SIDS even though we are very careful. How can I get her to stay in her cot and not scream after five mins!?

It is common at this age, honestly.

Have you tried swaddling (she'll feel like she's being cuddled) and putting one of your tops in the cot (so it smells like you)? Try warming up the cot before she goes in with a hot water bottle (obv take the bottle out before you put her in) and making a little cocoon for her. She likes feeling safe loved and enclosed when she goes to sleep so you need to try to recreate that feeling for her. Both my DSs were the same but doing the above really does help.

How are you putting her in the cot? Are you putting her down when she is already asleep? We used to have trouble with DS (at a similar age) when he first went in his cot - he'd fall asleep after his feed, then we'd put him down and he'd wake up screaming about 10 minutes later. A friend suggested he was waking up cos he'd open his eyes a little and get freaked out that he was no longer in the same place as he was when he fell asleep. Seemed logical, so we tried putting him down when he was drowsy but not fully asleep, and then would settle him the rest of the way in the cot. It used to take us ages (up to 1 hour) to settle him, but now it takes 5 minutes! We just sit and hold his hand, stroke his nose or something and try and get him to stay calm.

It's hard at first, but well worth persevering. Me and DH used to take it in turns soothing him so that we didn't get stressed, as that would only make DS stressed too...

DD was like this at that age, and loads of mums told me it was very very normal. We tried every method of settling, but nothing worked. In the end what worked for me was a sling! Baby slept on me but my hands were free to do whatever I wanted to do. The sense of freedom I felt was indescribable

DD grew out of it at 5 months and started self-settling in her cot. The sling saved us 3 months of frustration and stress.

It is normal - my DS did this for the first 4 month or so. However, he had silent reflux so hated being on his back, even more so when he had wind. I didn't realise this until 12 weeks.

You could try putting the cot on a slope and swaddling her with a miracle blanket. Being on her front is more cosy than on back in a big wide open space (the cot) with arms flailing due to the moro reflex. Or you could try a moses basket instead as a bit more cosy.

I also used a lambskin under his sheet to make the mattress a bit softer. I bought an organic one as was worried about heavy metals. It feels nice and not too squidgy and keeps baby warm - so don't need quite so many layers (a godsend in the winter).

A friend of mine used to feed her baby with a muslin between her and the baby then transfer baby and muslin into the cot. The muslin retained some of the heat and smell of mum which apparently helped her DS settle!

My ds is nearly 9 weeks and is exactly the same, although not when I put him down for the night weirdly.
But yes during the day he will only sleep on me or in the car/pram. I dont mind generally as I sleep aswell but today have been trying to get him to sleep on his own but hes not having it so he's hardly slept at all today.

My DD was exactly the same and the solution for us was to use a sling during the day and co-sleep at night - controversial I know but it really worked for us. I only started when DD was 3 weeks old and I'd fallen asleep with her at the breast and we both woke up having enjoyed 4 hours solid sleep (I found it so hard to stay awake, especially when breastfeeding and my body was releasing all those sleep-inducing hormones!). I realise it's not for everyone and people do tend to have extremely strong views regarding this, however if it is something that you think you would consider, then the Dr Sears website is excellent and gives alot of evidence that supports co-sleeping and in some cases, argue that it can prevent SIDS (it is not advised if either parent has been drinking or is a smoker).

DD started sleeping independently during the day from around 3 months (we have a fish tank in our living room, the noise of the water filter really helped lull her to sleep) and at 5 months we had her in her own cot in our room, moving her to her own room at 6 months. She is now sleeping through (she's 8 and a half months) and although we have had problems in the past (waking to feed every 3 hours) I do not believe this was related to co-sleeping early on.

I really think that co-sleeping early on helped me survive those first few months and if you're open to it then would really recommend it!