When to stop sleep training? Controlled Cry- when does it end?

[FidoDido75]

I've been trying to sleep train my DS (25wk)by controlled cry method (first night 3 min-5 min and 10 min, second night 5 min, 12 min etc). you can skip to the final paragraph for my question
Well, the first night he woke up at around 2 am (his usual wake up time after his last feed at 8:30pm- slept on the breast)and cried for 45 min. Then at 4am, and cried for 15 min and finally woke up at 6:30 am his usual wake-up time.
The second night was similar. But on the third night I realised that I needed to change his routine to break the habit of sleeping on the breast so fed him before his bath and said good night without his final feed. He woke up at 3:30am and then 5:30. As I have changed his routine I decided to feed him at 5:30.
I can see that he is still struggling to fall asleep (crying 10-20 min) without the breast. Tonight as he was teething and had his immunisation (third set) and sounded as if he's having a hoarse throat (too much crying :(), I decided to help him, sang rhymes and shhshed when he cried and he fell asleep in 10 minutes.
We've come a long way and I am very happy with the current situation. However, I wonder if I should keep him crying whenever he wakes up from now on? I don't want to be inconsistent, but also fed up with the cries.

25 weeks seems young to be sleep training in this way...

I thought cc was only really useful for babies over 1 as any younger and they don't have the mental capacity to learn that although you won't pick them up every time they cry, you haven't abandoned them. Sorry I can't be more helpful, but I think cc on a 25 week old isn't going to be too much use, because you're trying to teach him something he can't possibly learn yet.

Whatever you do you need to be consistent, so: are you CCing or are you feeding to sleep, co-sleeping...what?!

I can't fathom from your post what you are doing, and if a sleeping through baby is important to you then you may need to consider that maybe he is none to sure either! :)

Are you trying to stop night feeds? There is a growth spurt around 6 months plus establishing solids might mean he needs night feeds for a bit longer. There are gentler methods to cut night feeds but I would wait a bit.

Ferber, who introduced controlled crying, recommends that you reduce night feeds gradually by cutting down the time spent feeding by a minute every time. Then once you're sure that the baby isn't hungry, you try controlled crying - the idea being to stop habitual wakings. Otherwise your baby gets distressed having food cut out dramatically.

CC can work on a 25 week old. I successfully sleep trained both of mine at 6 months with the help of a sleep consultant. In both cases it took 3 nights but we were entirely consistent. If you sometimes feed him/cuddle him when he wakes and sometimes expect him to sleep that is very confusing for him. Either teach him that he gets milk and cuddles in the night or teach him that he does not.

Hmm, i feel like i have been quite cruel on my LO. Though he seems to have dropped his 2 am feed.
Hobbgoblin, I thought that I was CCing but then (the third night) realised that I was doing it incorrectly by letting him sleep on the breast for his night sleep. So stopped feeding right before his bed time.

Fido - with both my DDs I cut the feeding to sleep at bedtime and ALL night feeds and cuddles in one go. As I say it took 3 nights before they could self settle and sleep through. Before that they had woken every three hours. I personally was very happy with my decision to do this. We were ALL much happier once we were sleeping properly. If you want to do CC then do it but be consistent. If you have any reservations then do not do it. Inconsistent CC won't work and will be torturous for all of you.

Avocadoes, did you do it only during the night or did you do it for the naps?

Ahhhh but Fido! CC is such a generic term now that there is no 'correct' version imo.

If I was doing what I call CC with a client, I wouldn't increase the gaps between settling, though I know many people do do this.

I personally think the common theme is to teach a baby to self settle if you are not agreeable to feeding to sleep or rocking or singing or whatever other prop one might use.

However you look at it I think it is good to set your goal as a baby who can self settle and then devise a technique you find easy to carry out whether that be patting and shhhing, leaving to cry for 2 minutes, leaving to cry for increased number of minutes...etc. Then, simply stick to the plan like glue!

Are you saying that you left a 25 week old baby to cry uncomforted for 45 minutes?

Why on earth are you doing this?

Hobbgoblin, yes that's the idea: to teach him to self settle. It's seems that since i was not consistent at all, he is still not self settling (my fault). Shall I carry on what I do -this time being consistent, until he does?

I did it for nights only. DD1 was always very resistant to naps and had to be pushed in her pushchair in order to sleep. DD2 napped well as soon as she learnt to self settle.

seeker, comforted him every 10 minutes. did it: to drop the night feeds, to teach him to self settle- he was not sleeping without the feeding-each feed!

Do you find what you're doing okay? I mean is your DS happy (when he isn't crying for those few minutes) and are you feeling relaxed?

If so then yes stick to what you are doing. I personally wouldn't increase the times between - I'd stick with 2 mins before returning to settle him but that's up to you of course.

Hobbgoblin, i was ok for the first three nights but not anymore:(