Adult sleep deprivation - coping tactics

[lavender11]

Cannot face explaining in too much detail why I am asking for tips to cope with the consequences (namely my sleep deprivation) rather than the causes (in brief a 21 month old toddler and a 3.5 month old baby, I wont bore you with any more details than that)
Please tell me your coping tactics if you have 2 of around this age and you regularly find yourself with no sleep during the night (and you are not exaggerating when you say "no" sleep). Chain drinking tea and eating 85% chocolate is already a standard coping tactic but i need more. sadly napping during the day or offloading the little ones on someone else for even just a short period of time is not an option (husband works very very long hours almost 7 days per week, no family close by even if they were willing which they are not..) any suggestions very gratefully received. Beginning to take my sleep deprivation out on the cat which is not good

I don't have an answer, I'm on the verge of losing the loose grip on have on sanity...

Theants thanks for your message - hope you are ok and i know what you mean. The nausea which goes with tiredness has only just gone with me since it started at 6am
toddler now in bed but baby now screaming, just an hour when they are both asleep would be my dream

i'm with you (at moment ds2 age 2 and dd age 7 months are taking it in turns to wake up 3 times each throughout the night... so 6 wakeups between 10pm and 5am, mmmm, lovely)

i too find myself eating very sugary cereal bars immediately after breakfast to give myself a boost. but also i try to eat lots of protein at lunchtime for energy.

B vitamins are good for energy, i take extra of those

could try some other supplements, i've got the vague idea that ginseng is good for energy

if you're into homeopathy, there's a remedy called cocculus i take after particularly bad nights which i find very effective

thanks for the cocculus recommendation I will google search that. i will try anything

i dreamed of getting both of mine to nap during the day at same time, but they have a remarkable knack of timing it so that one wakes just as the other one sleeps. having said that, for the last week or so i have been managing to do it... but then i find myself doing the washing/ironing/tesco online order etc and there's not much time left for anything other than a cup of tea with MN before they wake up imminently...

Could your DH take a few days off work to help you get a couple of nights sleep? If not, maybe split what part of the night he is home 50/50 - so if he has 8 hours at home, you get 4 hours sleep each? You both need to get some rest or else you're going to make yourself ill.

It might be hard for now and you maybe won't get to spend much time together but remember (and chant) It will get better once they're both a little older. This will not be forever.

thanks alcrowley
you are right. i remember the sleep thing got better for baby1 as she was 18 months when number 2 arrived and things were relatively stable with just her (well compared with when she was newborn anyway!) and i remember dreading the sleep thing when i was pregnant with number 2 and i have not been disappointed so to speak.
hubby and i are sleeping in separate rooms, me in spare room with baby and listener for toddler. i am breastfeeding so he cannot help wiht night feeds and finding time to express breastmilk impossible. also a grumpy sleep deprived husband in my case is truely the edge of hell in our house... but in theory yes you are right, he should help me get a nap or two somehow, in my fantasy world!!

I have a slightly bigger gap between my 2 (DS was 2.9 when DD was born almost 9 months ago now) but since then, I've basically abdicated all responsibility for getting up with DS to my DH.

Like you, I am BF DD so I have to get up to DD but with DH seeing to the toddler, I at least am only getting up to 1 of them at night which means I get a little more sleep. When she was very tiny and feeding more often (although she's still not a great sleeper now!) that at least meant I got a couple of hours sleep between feeds.

DH drives an hour either way to work everyday which makes his working day long too and I did feel bad that he was getting up with DS but I would have been no good for either child during the day without his help in the early days. It was much better for us both to get a little sleep.

Give the listener to you DH, at least for a few days. You need to share the nights.

Al, that is a good idea, i might suggest it. my toddler usually only needs her comfort blanket repositioned or a short cuddle, she is (not surprisingly) the easierof the two. maybe i can persuade him.

It really helped me that's for sure. DS is thankfully back to sleeping through pretty much every night now but if DD disturbs him when she wakes (sometimes 3 or 4 times a night still!), DH gets up to resettle him for me so I can concentrate on dealing with DD. We're both tired but we're in it together.

Fingers crossed your DH agrees to do it. Just that little bit of extra sleep could make all the difference for you.

I find a (slow) walk 2 or 3 times a day really helpful when stupidly tired - nothing to brisk or you tire yourself out further! But fresh air maybe some sunshine and a bit of exercise does wonders for my state of mind at least. would also allow toddler to run around and burn energy if you go to a park?

Good luck!

I am longterm sleep deprived as ds 15 SEN hasn't slept through the might since he was born and generally sleeps between 2 and 4 hours per night.
My top tip would be to get rid of the bedside clock because it's miserable counting the hours you are awake.
I have found that I felt better once I stopped hoping for eight hours sleep and my body must have adjusted because 4 hours now feels like a luxury.

ineedacoffee great tip about exercise you are totally right, i always feel better after a walk of about half an hour and it makes you feel more human to get out of the house however simple the reason
asdx2 wow you must know all the tricks now (and as you say your body has adjusted). you are right about clock watching it does make it much worse. part of the problem for me is that i find it impossible to lower my expectations in any significant way about what i can achieve during the day (and anyway it all still needs doing so opting out is not really an option).

sugar
going to bed ridiculously early (like as soon as they were both asleep)
getting out of the house
and in my case ADs as was losing the plot on top of everything else

i hope you get some sleep soon